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  • Curious in Delaware

    I recently posted a thread asking about emancipation.
    I found out that there is no statute for emancipation in Delaware.
    So, here are a few questions..

    1) Since emancipation is out of the question, I would like to know...

    Are there other ways besides getting my parents permission to move out (which isn't going to happen..don't get me wrong, I really don't have a problem with respecting my mother and listening to her advice..but she has EXTREME control issues. Not only is that the reason my father divorced her 12 years ago, that is also most of the reason that my "stepfather" and her have problems. I think it is very sad and unfortunate for myself that I realize that she tries to control every-single-little-detail but she does not) that I could do to be able to actually move out legally?

    Another..

    2) I turn 18 in about 10 months.

    Is it legally safe for me to move out of my mothers house the day I turn 18, without needing her permission or even telling her?

    3) There are maybe 2 things that I own that my mother has bought for me. These things are little things, just an old futon that I don't even have the mattress for and my television which I use maybe for an hour a week, not really big deals for me. Most of the things that I own were bought by my father, whose house I brought these things from when I moved in about 8 months ago. The rest of these things were bought by me.

    I have this feeling (because of her control issues and some threatening things she has said before) that my mother will try to say that I am not to remove anything from her house. Is it possible that I could get in trouble for taking my belongings when I move out?

    Thank you all for your advice and comments. Everything is majorly appreciated.
    Last edited by jess24; 12-01-2008, 09:04 AM.

  • #2
    1) No. Try to cope by being busy. Get a job, volunteer, sign up for extracurricular activities and clubs, do lots of research at the library. Get up before everyone else and go to bed before everyone else to get some time for yourself. Bury yourself in books or music. The time will pass faster and with fewer incidents if you keep yourself occupied.

    2) Yes.

    3) I don't know the answer to this, so I'll let someone else respond.

    Comment


    • #3
      3) Does your father have the reciepts for the items he has purchased?
      HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
      How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
      (unique up on him)
      How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
      (same way)

      Comment


      • #4
        experience

        Originally posted by mommyof4 View Post
        3) Does your father have the reciepts for the items he has purchased?
        When I moved out, I had to leave behind anything that was still in the house I was moving out of that my step-mom and dad wanted to keep from me. It's your mother's house so unless your dad has the reciepts to everything he bought for you, those things belong to her.

        However, my suggestion, which bares no weight at all, is to slowly remove your things during those ten months whether it be in storage or to your dad's house. Although, if your mom wants those things back and if your dad doesn't have a receipt for them, she can get them back. Hence the doing it slowly, so she doesn't notice that you're making it easier for yourself to get out when you turn 18.
        Last edited by hannah92190; 12-01-2008, 12:55 PM.
        ~Early Starter~

        The comments above are based solely on my beliefs and experiences.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by CarynG View Post
          1) No. Try to cope by being busy. Get a job, volunteer, sign up for extracurricular activities and clubs, do lots of research at the library. Get up before everyone else and go to bed before everyone else to get some time for yourself. Bury yourself in books or music. The time will pass faster and with fewer incidents if you keep yourself occupied.

          2) Yes.

          3) I don't know the answer to this, so I'll let someone else respond.
          Thank you very much.
          There is a problem with this, however. My mother does not drive and she does not own a vehicle. My stepfather, whom I don't even speak to, does drive but not legally.
          It really seems as if it's just one huge circle, I can't get a job because I don't have a vehicle and I can't get a vehicle because I can't get a job.
          This is one of the most important reasons why I'm so ready to get out of this household.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by hannah92190 View Post
            When I moved out, I had to leave behind anything that was still in the house I was moving out of that my step-mom and dad wanted to keep from me. It's your mother's house so unless your dad has the reciepts to everything he bought for you, those things belong to her.

            However, my suggestion, which bares no weight at all, is to slowly remove your things during those ten months whether it be in storage or to your dad's house. Although, if your mom wants those things back and if your dad doesn't have a receipt for them, she can get them back. Hence the doing it slowly, so she doesn't notice that you're making it easier for yourself to get out when you turn 18.
            Wow. Thank you.
            That's a very good idea.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by mommyof4 View Post
              3) Does your father have the reciepts for the items he has purchased?
              I doubt it, but I'm not sure.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by jess24 View Post
                Thank you very much.
                There is a problem with this, however. My mother does not drive and she does not own a vehicle. My stepfather, whom I don't even speak to, does drive but not legally.
                It really seems as if it's just one huge circle, I can't get a job because I don't have a vehicle and I can't get a vehicle because I can't get a job.
                This is one of the most important reasons why I'm so ready to get out of this household.
                Got Feet? If your determined to make your life different than what it is now that means you will do anything possible even if that means walking 4 miles in the snow to get to work.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by FlyinHawk View Post
                  Got Feet? If your determined to make your life different than what it is now that means you will do anything possible even if that means walking 4 miles in the snow to get to work.
                  Or is there public transportation? Half the people I work with don't have their own vehicle so it's possible to get a job without a car. I did it too. If you're determined, it's possible.

                  If you live in the middle of no where then burry yourself in school activities. It'll be good for you anyway when the idea of college comes up. There are ways to avoid having confrontations with irrational parents (this coming from someone who had an alcoholic mother). Just make sure what you're doing is constructive, and not illegal or bad for your well being.
                  ~Early Starter~

                  The comments above are based solely on my beliefs and experiences.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by FlyinHawk View Post
                    Got Feet? If your determined to make your life different than what it is now that means you will do anything possible even if that means walking 4 miles in the snow to get to work.
                    You're right. Given this, there is only one little shop up the road from me within walking distance. I've already talked to the owner and she has offered me a job. It's been about 2 weeks since then. The only thing holding me back is the fact 1) they don't pay much at all and 2) I'd only be working weekends and from about 4pm until closing, at 7 pm, on weekdays. Working 3 hours a day just seems silly to me. But it would definitely keep me busy for a little while. I plan on contacting the owner as soon as possible today.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      When you get a first paycheck immediately buy a shovel, unless you can get someone to a few bucks to get one.

                      Snow & Shovels can keep you busy and bring in a good amount of money.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by jess24 View Post
                        You're right. Given this, there is only one little shop up the road from me within walking distance. I've already talked to the owner and she has offered me a job. It's been about 2 weeks since then. The only thing holding me back is the fact 1) they don't pay much at all and 2) I'd only be working weekends and from about 4pm until closing, at 7 pm, on weekdays. Working 3 hours a day just seems silly to me. But it would definitely keep me busy for a little while. I plan on contacting the owner as soon as possible today.
                        You'd be pleasantly surprised to know that once you start working, after receiving your first paycheck (no matter how small), each paycheck will bring you that much closer to your goal of getting out. If you can start putting your paychecks aside and try to save up for a used car. Question for you here, would your father be willing to let you move in with him? You did not mention any negative feelings towards him, so would living with him be a possibility for you? Do you get along well with him?
                        Disclaimer: I am not a lawyer. Anything written by me should not be construed as; or substituted for legal advice by an actual attorney. Any opinions by me are merely my own opinions. Anything pointing to fact, law etc, should be verified by the reader to ensure the most current and up-to-date information as possible.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Yes, my dad would be willing to let me move in with him.
                          I actually just moved from my dad's house, into my mom's house, about 5 months ago. I stayed with my dad (in New Jersey) for almost 2 years but I missed my little brothers and my friends. My mom, my brothers, and my mom's "boyfriend" of 10 years (yes, the "crackhead") had just recently moved here to Delaware. So, I decided to try it out. This, however, was very stupid of me. I came "home" to the same old ridiculousness.

                          Now, even though I know I shouldn't have to, I worry that if I were to move BACK in with my Dad, that my brothers will have to deal with my mom and her boyfriend's mess all by themselves. Both of my brothers are very immature because of the things they have had to put up with in their lives, one being 14 and one being 7, and I worry a lot about their mental stability. Fortunately for me, things worked out the opposite when it comes to maturity and ability to deal with things positively.

                          If I didn't think they would hate me for the rest of their lives and name me the "bad guy", I would have contacted social services very long ago.

                          I know ultimately I'm the one who has to make the decision but, what would you do? Would you choose to move back in with your father and leave your little brothers behind? Would you choose to call social services and chance never seeing your little brothers again?

                          These things torture me, constantly.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by jess24 View Post
                            Yes, my dad would be willing to let me move in with him.
                            I actually just moved from my dad's house, into my mom's house, about 5 months ago. I stayed with my dad (in New Jersey) for almost 2 years but I missed my little brothers and my friends. My mom, my brothers, and my mom's "boyfriend" of 10 years (yes, the "crackhead") had just recently moved here to Delaware. So, I decided to try it out. This, however, was very stupid of me. I came "home" to the same old ridiculousness.

                            Now, even though I know I shouldn't have to, I worry that if I were to move BACK in with my Dad, that my brothers will have to deal with my mom and her boyfriend's mess all by themselves. Both of my brothers are very immature because of the things they have had to put up with in their lives, one being 14 and one being 7, and I worry a lot about their mental stability. Fortunately for me, things worked out the opposite when it comes to maturity and ability to deal with things positively.

                            If I didn't think they would hate me for the rest of their lives and name me the "bad guy", I would have contacted social services very long ago.

                            I know ultimately I'm the one who has to make the decision but, what would you do? Would you choose to move back in with your father and leave your little brothers behind? Would you choose to call social services and chance never seeing your little brothers again?

                            These things torture me, constantly.
                            I would tell a teacher, doctor, pastor/priest/rabbi/whateverapplies, school counselor...that way, YOU are not the one making the report. All of those just listed are mandated reporters.

                            Further, you should know that even if you do decide to report the situation, nobody is going to be broadcasting who actually called. Nor is it a guarantee that your brothers would be removed from the home, thereby causing you to lose all contact with them.
                            HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
                            How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
                            (unique up on him)
                            How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
                            (same way)

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by jess24 View Post
                              Yes, my dad would be willing to let me move in with him.

                              If I didn't think they would hate me for the rest of their lives and name me the "bad guy", I would have contacted social services very long ago.

                              I know ultimately I'm the one who has to make the decision but, what would you do? Would you choose to move back in with your father and leave your little brothers behind? Would you choose to call social services and chance never seeing your little brothers again?

                              These things torture me, constantly.
                              I don't think your brothers would hate you for leaving them behind. That is totally out of your hands. I feel bad for your situation, but if you do file a report, it can be done anonymously so that you don't have to be outed or fear retribution. I think it's very commendable that you are concerned about your siblings. You have good sense to know the difference between right and wrong, and fortunately for you, your life will be better for it. I can only say that you should continue to have healthy relationships between you and your siblings because that sort of closeness is something many take for granted. I'm not close with my own sister. I wish I was, but it's just no so and after 37 years of being on this earth, I don't push the issue with her. She is who she is and I am who I am. If you are strong for your brothers, they may see in time and with growing up, that your hands were tied but that you did the best you could for them. Perhaps they will turn out to be just as level-headed as you and will also lead good lives in the future.

                              As for what I would do if I were in that situation? Unfortunately I can't answer that one. It's a tough call and I'm not in that position. I really don't know what I would do.
                              Disclaimer: I am not a lawyer. Anything written by me should not be construed as; or substituted for legal advice by an actual attorney. Any opinions by me are merely my own opinions. Anything pointing to fact, law etc, should be verified by the reader to ensure the most current and up-to-date information as possible.

                              Comment

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