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Removal of PFA Pennsylvania

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  • Removal of PFA Pennsylvania

    My boyfriend and I had a fight, it did get physical, but we are both at fault for it. However, I made the mistake of telling my friend and with the shock I was in bc of everything and in the emotional state I was in, she basically took over my life, convincing me to file a pfa, even taking me to the courthouse to make sure I did it. Since then, I've been wanting to remove it. I love him and I know he loves me, from what everyone has told me, he is just as much of a mess over this as I am, he's told everyone what he did was wrong and has been regretting it since the moment it happened, as am I. He has never raised a hand to me, but in the heat of the moment that night, things happened that shouldn't have. Can anyone give some advice on how I should address this when I file for a motion to remove the pfa? Thank you.

  • #2
    First of all, own the fact that you filed for this. No one "made" you do it. If you go into court trying to claim a friend forced you into it or you were so distraught and shocked by the abuse that you couldn't think clearly, don't expect the judge to be real happy with you, or to revoke the order. It isn't clear where in the process you are with this. You filed the petition but have you seen a judge? Has there been a final hearing? You can learn more about the process here http://www.pcadv.org/Learn-More/Dome...on-From-Abuse/

    It is hard to gauge from what you wrote if this was an extremely minor incident that will never happen again, or you ended up with bruises. Either way, I strongly suggest contacting a counselor or domestic violence support organization in your area and discussing it with them. No offense to the friend, but unless she is a licensed counselor, she has no idea what really is best for you. Start here http://www.dhs.pa.gov/citizens/domes.../#.VuBq-2cUWUk
    I post with the full knowledge and support of my employer, though the opinions rendered are my own and not necessarily representative of their position. In other words, I'm a free agent.

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    • #3
      Be aware that many...it would not be out of line to even say, most...victims of DV of even the kind that will put them in the hospital will take all kinds of measures to recant their stories and try to protect their abuser. The judge has heard it all before and will not be overwhelmingly impressed with even the best argument you can make.
      The above answer, whatever it is, assumes that no legally binding and enforceable contract or CBA says otherwise. If it does, then the terms of the contract or CBA apply.

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      • #4
        I'm with Elle and C. Back when I was a firefighter...if you saw some of the stuff I saw...especially when a woman "feels" her BF or H won't hit her again...and he does....

        Let's just say here and now that love doesn't hurt. Not the kind of hurt a woman gets when her H or BF beats her.
        You can find a better man somewhere else. But that is a decision that only you can make.
        I don't believe what I write, and neither should you. Information furnished to you is for debate purposes only, be sure to verify with your own research.
        Keep in mind that the information provided may not be worth any more than either a politician's promise or what you paid for it (nothing).
        I also may not have been either sane or sober when I wrote it down.
        Don't worry, be happy.

        http://www.rcfp.org/taping/index.html is a good resource!

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        • #5
          The judge may come down on you for filing a false report. If you said he was abusive and now retract the statement, it doesn't do much for your credibility. Either you lied when you filed or you are in denial now about what happened.

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          • #6
            OP - I'm not saying that is the case here but many times when you believe it is not going to happen again - it does.
            Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. Leo Buscaglia

            Live in peace with animals. Animals bring love to our hearts and warmth to our souls.

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