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Day Care Expense Chaos!

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  • Day Care Expense Chaos!

    I've been seperated from my husband for 2 years- I have 2 little girls, 4 & 7- My husband pays a sum of $800 per month to an ex-girfriend who had his 1st child-she has since left the country w/ the child (13) and remarried-they all live in England- My (Ex?) husband still pays her she has grnished his wages. When I took my husband to court they awarded me child support of $27 per month- to cover both my girls- no this is not a joke. when I asked the judge if they could make it more fair her statement was that he would have to revise his 1st support order which was in Florida. I am in California- At the time of this generous order I was the sole child care provider for our daughters during the day- and he would watch them at night-To make areal long story short, I got a day job and had to pay 90% of the daycare for the 2 girls becaue he said he couldn't- I lost my job and am desperately trying to find another (it has been almost a year) but I can't afford all the child care expenses on my own- he says he doesn't have it- yet he doesn't pay me anything to watch them-not even the $27 child support- I have recently got a night job, and he has watched them for me on the nights that I work- but I can't take full time hours because he doesn't get off work in time- How can I make him pay for his half of the daycare so I can go and get a real full time job- I'm sure I'm leaving out a lot of importatnt details- but that is the jist of it- I just want to go on with my life and have the same opportunity to make money-i'm so frustrated.HELP!

  • #2
    thats crazy

    Originally posted by tat2dfae
    I've been seperated from my husband for 2 years- I have 2 little girls, 4 & 7- My husband pays a sum of $800 per month to an ex-girfriend who had his 1st child-she has since left the country w/ the child (13) and remarried-they all live in England- My (Ex?) husband still pays her she has grnished his wages. When I took my husband to court they awarded me child support of $27 per month- to cover both my girls- no this is not a joke. when I asked the judge if they could make it more fair her statement was that he would have to revise his 1st support order which was in Florida. I am in California- At the time of this generous order I was the sole child care provider for our daughters during the day- and he would watch them at night-To make areal long story short, I got a day job and had to pay 90% of the daycare for the 2 girls becaue he said he couldn't- I lost my job and am desperately trying to find another (it has been almost a year) but I can't afford all the child care expenses on my own- he says he doesn't have it- yet he doesn't pay me anything to watch them-not even the $27 child support- I have recently got a night job, and he has watched them for me on the nights that I work- but I can't take full time hours because he doesn't get off work in time- How can I make him pay for his half of the daycare so I can go and get a real full time job- I'm sure I'm leaving out a lot of importatnt details- but that is the jist of it- I just want to go on with my life and have the same opportunity to make money-i'm so frustrated.HELP!
    i dont know any California laws im in TExas and i know here in texas it is 20% of his salary a month and 17.5% if he has another child. if he has no job at all that they would do 40 hours X the minimum wage no matter what. there is no way in the world that a person should be paying thatlittle that is just wrong find out about the laws overthere. here in texas you cant get away with 1 month of not paying so do something about it.!!

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    • #3
      thanx-

      thanx for your reply- yeah- it IS crazy- and he gets away with it...i need to get an attorney but I can't aford one-the l can't seem to get an answer in regards to- if there is someting LEgally I can do to make him go to Florida and modify his 1st support issue- everyone can see it's grossly out of balance- and to add insult to injury his ex-girfriend remarried a guy who clears $160k yrly- and the child support that she gets paid from my ex Pays for her "Summer HOme" and I struggle to pay rent on my little apartment...okay enough of my whining- does anyone know Calif law in regards to this-or where I can start looking for these answers?

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      • #4
        I dont' know California laws. Do you have a divorce decree, or separation agreement that orders him to pay 1/2 of daycare? I do know that for day care expenses, he can be ordered to pay 1/2, but you can't garnish for these expenses. You have to rely on him to pay it, if he doesn't pay it your only recourse is to sue him for the amounts he owes you. After you sue him, you can have the order reduced to a judgement and THEN you can garnish his wages for it, but its a hassle!! Then for an ongoing daycare after that, you have to do the same thing over again if he doesn't pay. Also - be aware, my ex was constantly behind on daycare expenses, he filed bankrupcty and was able to clear all the daycare he owed me (about $1,500) - child support can not be discharged in bankrupcty, but the daycare could.

        However, I would advise you to seek out some sort of legal aid to help you with your child support order, that really isn't fair to your children.

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        • #5
          no kidding...

          Since I was the "day-care" when we seperated there is nothing in our seperation/child custody papers that addressess this issue- that was stupid of me- and just one of the many lessons learned through this-I don't know how to modify his support pymt for my children without modifying the support pymt for his other child- & I was told point blank by the judge that only HE could do that, and he says he can't afford to do it. Logically, he should be taking the $800/mo and spliting it 3 ways to cover all children if that is all he has...but I've found that logic isn't supported by the joke of a judicial system and I have rapidly lost faith...I was just hoping that something could be done to force him, or force the courts to recognize all the children equally...it really IS unfair- and even after 2 years of this hell, quite unbelievable...It was a miserable marriage, and I just wanted to set the example for my girls that you don't have to live a life being miserable, that we all make mistakes and bad judgements, that we can correct them and move on-I feel that I have failed in so many ways- I'm so discouraged and sad. I'm ashamed that I have just made everything worse and all looks so dark.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by tat2dfae
            Since I was the "day-care" when we seperated there is nothing in our seperation/child custody papers that addressess this issue- that was stupid of me- and just one of the many lessons learned through this-I don't know how to modify his support pymt for my children without modifying the support pymt for his other child- & I was told point blank by the judge that only HE could do that, and he says he can't afford to do it. Logically, he should be taking the $800/mo and spliting it 3 ways to cover all children if that is all he has...but I've found that logic isn't supported by the joke of a judicial system and I have rapidly lost faith...I was just hoping that something could be done to force him, or force the courts to recognize all the children equally...it really IS unfair- and even after 2 years of this hell, quite unbelievable...It was a miserable marriage, and I just wanted to set the example for my girls that you don't have to live a life being miserable, that we all make mistakes and bad judgements, that we can correct them and move on-I feel that I have failed in so many ways- I'm so discouraged and sad. I'm ashamed that I have just made everything worse and all looks so dark.
            He may not be able to get the first CS order changed. It doesn't matter if she NEEDS the money or not. The money is not for her, it is for the children.

            They don't divide the child support equally between all of the children. The reason being is that the person paying support KNEW how much he was supposed to pay and shouldn't have had more children if he could not afford to support them.

            You could TRY to take him to court to have daycare costs added into the order.

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            • #7
              unbelievable...

              My many thanx for you response. I can't believe that the system would be that rigid- if indeed the concern is about the welfare of the child- and the support follows the child- then why wouldn't it apply to all the children involved- especially the ones who are in greater need-

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