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DAD IS TRYING TO GET 50/50 custody

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  • DAD IS TRYING TO GET 50/50 custody

    My husband (we are not legally separated yet) has threatened me saying he is going to get 50/50 custody of our 3 children ages 6, 4, 1. He doesn't want to the full amount of child support, that is the only reason he wants 50/50. He commited adultery on me with our former nanny and they both admitted it to me and at least 10 other people. I took him back several times under the intensions that he had stop messing with her, I just found out that he is still seeing her. I am scared that he will win 50/50 and not have to pay me hardly anything and I dont want my kids around her until the divorce is final. They are planning to live together. I have agreed to joint custody. What are my chances of winning? I see a lawyer tomorrow.

  • #2
    Originally posted by BarbeeNnc
    My husband (we are not legally separated yet) has threatened me saying he is going to get 50/50 custody of our 3 children ages 6, 4, 1. He doesn't want to the full amount of child support, that is the only reason he wants 50/50. He commited adultery on me with our former nanny and they both admitted it to me and at least 10 other people. I took him back several times under the intensions that he had stop messing with her, I just found out that he is still seeing her. I am scared that he will win 50/50 and not have to pay me hardly anything and I dont want my kids around her until the divorce is final. They are planning to live together. I have agreed to joint custody. What are my chances of winning? I see a lawyer tomorrow.
    Well, I don't see what the big deal is if you have agreed to joint custody. Don't get me wrong, I understand the hurt and anger over the affair with the nanny (eeeww), but if you agree to joint custody, where is the argument?
    HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
    How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
    (unique up on him)
    How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
    (same way)

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    • #3
      Originally posted by BarbeeNnc
      My husband (we are not legally separated yet) has threatened me saying he is going to get 50/50 custody of our 3 children ages 6, 4, 1. He doesn't want to the full amount of child support, that is the only reason he wants 50/50. He commited adultery on me with our former nanny and they both admitted it to me and at least 10 other people. I took him back several times under the intensions that he had stop messing with her, I just found out that he is still seeing her. I am scared that he will win 50/50 and not have to pay me hardly anything and I dont want my kids around her until the divorce is final. They are planning to live together. I have agreed to joint custody. What are my chances of winning? I see a lawyer tomorrow.

      Did you know that joint custody is the same thing as 50/50 custody? If you agreed to joint custody, you've agreed to 50/50. If both parents are fit and live close to one another (so the children are in the same area no matter who's house they are at) then joint custody is considered a good thing for the children - you may not get any child support but you will only have to support them 50% of the time. If there is a reason why it wouldn't benefit the children to be 50/50, and you are a fit parent with the ability to provide suitable living conditions for the children you could have a chance of winning sole custody.

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      • #4
        I beg to differ..Joint custody is not the same thing as 50/50. I have 60% the other has 40% and we still share joint custody.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by destinyfaith
          I beg to differ..Joint custody is not the same thing as 50/50. I have 60% the other has 40% and we still share joint custody.
          You're right, it's not alway 50/50. I was asking exactly what her objection was. If it was just because of the child support or because she is angry over the affair. I'm still waiting for the answer. If they live close to each other,and she has no objections to joint physical and legal custody (there is another question) then why bother with a fight that will cause alot of pain for her child and ultimately waste alot of money and time?
          HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
          How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
          (unique up on him)
          How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
          (same way)

          Comment


          • #6
            Oh I agree with you on that. I think that whatever is in the best interest of the children. I just disagreed with the statement that 50/50 split is the same as joint.

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            • #7
              joint custody

              Joint custody doesn't mean 50/50. We pay 100% of child support and see our child (husband's child and my step child) maybe 30%. The math's not adding up...but the ex's bank account is.

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              • #8
                reply to barbeennc

                Your husband's obviously an idiot...but to keep your children from him makes you a bad mother. Let go of the pain he's caused you...give it time, he'll cause that nanny a bunch of grief.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by coolstepmom
                  Joint custody doesn't mean 50/50. We pay 100% of child support and see our child (husband's child and my step child) maybe 30%. The math's not adding up...but the ex's bank account is.
                  The percentage of child support isn't based on what percentage of custody you have. It's based on your income. If the other parent doesn't have any income, than your support will be 100% no matter what percentage of custody you have. But that doesn't mean the other parent isn't contributing any money towards raising the kids.

                  I thought joint custody was 50/50. I guess I'm unclear of why there would be anything inbetween. Either you have sole custody with the ncp having visitaion, or you have 50/50. Because essentially, if ncp has visitation for 30% of the time, they don't call it 30/70 custody split do they? Sorry for my misinformation.

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                  • #10
                    shared legal custody and shared physical custody can be any percentage short of full custody (legal or physical). Somebody can have full physical custody of a child, yet shared legal custody with the other parent or guardian. Likewise somebody could have full legal custody, but share physical custody. Child support calculations are generally determined based on the both income of the parents AND the amount of physical custody each has. The formula (which varies by state) takes into account the income of the parties, allows for certain deductions such as tax liability and retirement savings plans, and calculates the support based on the adjusted income (capped at a certain level in my state) and the custody percentage. Also in my state, if one parent has 70% custody or better, he or she is considered to have full custody for the purposes of the child support calculation. In other words he or she is assumed to have 100% physical custody for the math, but not actual physical custody. It may work differently in other states, but shared does not have to mean equal custody, either for physical or legal custody.

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                    • #11
                      100% child support comment

                      I was just making a point when I said we pay 100% of the child support; it's an example of contrast in numbers: the 100% of money (child support) given versus the percentage we see the child. Please don't take that comment literally as I'm aware the custodial parent also contributes money towards raising the child.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by BarbeeNnc
                        My husband (we are not legally separated yet) has threatened me saying he is going to get 50/50 custody of our 3 children ages 6, 4, 1. He doesn't want to the full amount of child support, that is the only reason he wants 50/50. He commited adultery on me with our former nanny and they both admitted it to me and at least 10 other people. I took him back several times under the intensions that he had stop messing with her, I just found out that he is still seeing her. I am scared that he will win 50/50 and not have to pay me hardly anything and I dont want my kids around her until the divorce is final. They are planning to live together. I have agreed to joint custody. What are my chances of winning? I see a lawyer tomorrow.

                        Just wondering, since you want more than fifty % of custody, is your desire for that much time with your children based at all on how cs support would be affected? no? then why is dad's desire- to equally share (not even get more) to equally share time with the children automatically chalked up to trying to get out of paying?????


                        maybe he just loves his kids and wants to spend as much time as he can while still being fair to you.?

                        the divorce is coming- at this point it doesn't matter who did what, what matters is the kids and them being able to have 2 parents who can work together for their benefit.....
                        http://www.gestaltmediation.com/

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                        • #13
                          zephyr's response

                          I couldn't agree with you more.

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                          • #14
                            Here Here Cool Step Mom

                            we do 50/50 custody and physical visitation of my step daughter week/week.....AND we pay my husband's ex wife 525.00 a month. in CS.......in Texas it is not based on a TWO income rule just one income the NCP....we are considered the NCP because mom gets to have what is considered "school rights"...meaning my step-daughter has to go to school in the school district where her mom lives
                            so basically my step-daughter's mom has her a week and we have her a week....we provide for EVERYTHING while she is with us AND we pay for insurance and HALF of dance, swim team, school lunches, school supplies etc etc etc .........
                            and i echo Cool Step Mom words "nothing adds up here except mom's bank account"

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