Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Finaly lost it all...

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Finaly lost it all...

    Well, she finaly did it! I told you all I lost my job back in in January, I did what was recomended (file for an adjustment) but like all the other times nothing happened. After the 3rd time in as many weeks I finaly recieved the paperwork to fill out. I filled it out and sent it in, still have not heard anything about a date yet. I called CS office and after 2 days of constant calling I finaly spoke to a humna being. She was very polite and even sympathetic to my particular case, but told me that unfortuanately it would be at least 6 months before a date would be set. Staci of course started refusing to let me see my son or even speak to him before the first payment was even late. She had them place an atachment on my bank acount, threy are after my passport, DL, everything. I was told the other day that I can no longer hold a security clearance with the DOD. As I have said before without a passport, DL, security clearance I can get no job. Not in my line of work anyways. This is exactly what she told everyone she was going to do from the get go. And she did every bit of it by lying in court, and even when she was caught there was no recourse. I have been doing side jobs but I can not make enough money to feed my 2 kids I have custody of let alone send her any. She called today to tell me how much of a dead beat I was then said she had to go because she was going to a tanning booth. I am selling whats left of my tools, my laptop, and my PC so I can buy groceries and give money to the finance company so I can get one more month out of my truck in hopes that a job does come along. I do not understand why they would come at me so hard especialy since I had paying 34% ($960 a month)of my income instead of 20% for one child and was not even a day late for over a year. I wasn't even late when they put the atachment onto my bank acount. I do not understand why they would take away my ability to work? Can anyone rationalise this for me? How does this help my son? I have tried to do the right thing and be a good father, she has done everything she can to stop me and has finaly done it. I know everyone here is probably going to rip me one for this but at this point I realy don't care any more so here it is... I am putting a box together for our son to recieve when he is 18, I am going to put everyrthing in, proof of her lies a taped conversation her saying she was going to ruin my life,every email text message, voice mail, etc. where she has threatened me threatened to abourt him, said he wasn't mine, and a journal I have kept of every lie and evil thing she has ever done. I am going to make sure he knows why he doesn't have a father and what kind of person his mother realy is. If for nothing else then to make him more cautious himself.

    Everyone who has helped and just been kind on here thank you very much...

  • #2
    Originally posted by satmike
    I am putting a box together for our son to recieve when he is 18, I am going to put everyrthing in, proof of her lies a taped conversation her saying she was going to ruin my life,every email text message, voice mail, etc. where she has threatened me threatened to abourt him, said he wasn't mine, and a journal I have kept of every lie and evil thing she has ever done. I am going to make sure he knows why he doesn't have a father and what kind of person his mother realy is. If for nothing else then to make him more cautious himself.

    Everyone who has helped and just been kind on here thank you very much...
    There is a very good chance that doing this will blow up in YOUR face. Other then the obvious mental damage this could do, in all likelihood he will resent you for trashing the person that raised him. If he ASKS, then you can answer his questions honestly. But unless HE actually WANTS the whole story, it's best left alone

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by satmike
      Well, she finaly did it! I told you all I lost my job back in in January, I did what was recomended (file for an adjustment) but like all the other times nothing happened. After the 3rd time in as many weeks I finaly recieved the paperwork to fill out. I filled it out and sent it in, still have not heard anything about a date yet. I called CS office and after 2 days of constant calling I finaly spoke to a humna being. She was very polite and even sympathetic to my particular case, but told me that unfortuanately it would be at least 6 months before a date would be set. Staci of course started refusing to let me see my son or even speak to him before the first payment was even late. She had them place an atachment on my bank acount, threy are after my passport, DL, everything. I was told the other day that I can no longer hold a security clearance with the DOD. As I have said before without a passport, DL, security clearance I can get no job. Not in my line of work anyways. This is exactly what she told everyone she was going to do from the get go. And she did every bit of it by lying in court, and even when she was caught there was no recourse. I have been doing side jobs but I can not make enough money to feed my 2 kids I have custody of let alone send her any. She called today to tell me how much of a dead beat I was then said she had to go because she was going to a tanning booth. I am selling whats left of my tools, my laptop, and my PC so I can buy groceries and give money to the finance company so I can get one more month out of my truck in hopes that a job does come along. I do not understand why they would come at me so hard especialy since I had paying 34% ($960 a month)of my income instead of 20% for one child and was not even a day late for over a year. I wasn't even late when they put the atachment onto my bank acount. I do not understand why they would take away my ability to work? Can anyone rationalise this for me? How does this help my son? I have tried to do the right thing and be a good father, she has done everything she can to stop me and has finaly done it. I know everyone here is probably going to rip me one for this but at this point I realy don't care any more so here it is... I am putting a box together for our son to recieve when he is 18, I am going to put everyrthing in, proof of her lies a taped conversation her saying she was going to ruin my life,every email text message, voice mail, etc. where she has threatened me threatened to abourt him, said he wasn't mine, and a journal I have kept of every lie and evil thing she has ever done. I am going to make sure he knows why he doesn't have a father and what kind of person his mother realy is. If for nothing else then to make him more cautious himself.

      Everyone who has helped and just been kind on here thank you very much...
      I've told a friend of mine to do the same thing. His daughter's mother is a lunatic and to keep that journal for years to come to really know all that he's tried to do through out the years.

      Comment


      • #4
        I doubt I will be around for it to blow up in my face... Not to mention she has already stated that he was going to grow up hating me, I am just doing the only thing I can to show him what has realy happened.

        Comment


        • #5
          Let him find out on his own the type of person his mother is. It will just turn him against you, if you trash his mother. He will find out and he will respect you for being the bigger person. Children are very intelligent.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by satmike
            Well, she finaly did it! I told you all I lost my job back in in January, I did what was recomended (file for an adjustment) but like all the other times nothing happened. After the 3rd time in as many weeks I finaly recieved the paperwork to fill out. I filled it out and sent it in, still have not heard anything about a date yet. I called CS office and after 2 days of constant calling I finaly spoke to a humna being. She was very polite and even sympathetic to my particular case, but told me that unfortuanately it would be at least 6 months before a date would be set. Staci of course started refusing to let me see my son or even speak to him before the first payment was even late. She had them place an atachment on my bank acount, threy are after my passport, DL, everything. I was told the other day that I can no longer hold a security clearance with the DOD. As I have said before without a passport, DL, security clearance I can get no job. Not in my line of work anyways. This is exactly what she told everyone she was going to do from the get go. And she did every bit of it by lying in court, and even when she was caught there was no recourse. I have been doing side jobs but I can not make enough money to feed my 2 kids I have custody of let alone send her any. She called today to tell me how much of a dead beat I was then said she had to go because she was going to a tanning booth. I am selling whats left of my tools, my laptop, and my PC so I can buy groceries and give money to the finance company so I can get one more month out of my truck in hopes that a job does come along. I do not understand why they would come at me so hard especialy since I had paying 34% ($960 a month)of my income instead of 20% for one child and was not even a day late for over a year. I wasn't even late when they put the atachment onto my bank acount. I do not understand why they would take away my ability to work? Can anyone rationalise this for me? How does this help my son? I have tried to do the right thing and be a good father, she has done everything she can to stop me and has finaly done it. I know everyone here is probably going to rip me one for this but at this point I realy don't care any more so here it is... I am putting a box together for our son to recieve when he is 18, I am going to put everyrthing in, proof of her lies a taped conversation her saying she was going to ruin my life,every email text message, voice mail, etc. where she has threatened me threatened to abourt him, said he wasn't mine, and a journal I have kept of every lie and evil thing she has ever done. I am going to make sure he knows why he doesn't have a father and what kind of person his mother realy is. If for nothing else then to make him more cautious himself.

            Everyone who has helped and just been kind on here thank you very much...
            This is exactly the kind of thing that makes the child support laws sickening. It doesn't matter if you have lost your job, dead, disabled, etc. CS does not stop. That is wrong. That does no benefit to the child to bankrupt the NCP.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by krystaleviolette
              This is exactly the kind of thing that makes the child support laws sickening. It doesn't matter if you have lost your job, dead, disabled, etc. CS does not stop. That is wrong. That does no benefit to the child to bankrupt the NCP.
              And it doesn't benefit the child not to be able to eat either would it?

              Comment


              • #8
                Well Tahari what do you expect him to do now? Seems like the child support system has taken away his ability to legally provide for his son. Does he sell his blood at the blood bank? Stand on the street corner selling drugs? Pawn stolen goods? If his child goes hungry, and let's not forget that he has 2 other children as well, the state has no one to blame but themselves. The state has very effectively created yet another dead beat dad. This is a travesty and states should never be allowed to take away a person's ability to work and support their family. This is what is so wrong about the child support system. And if what he says about his ex is true, then it is another glaring example of how some of these so called mothers are nothing more than bitter, hateful, vindictive *****es who will stop at nothing to completely destroy men's lives all at the expense of their children. I hope she can still sleep at night knowing what she has done to the father of her child. If she is that hell bent on destroying him, then she can raise her child alone.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Wow this is a sad case. There are unfortunately so many cases that are similar. This is a clear example that men are held to a much higher standard than women. (I guess it is best stated, NCP's are held to a much higher standard than CP's)

                  It doesn't seem that the courts will ever adapt to the ever changing world. A CP looses their job, the family makes cut backs until a new job is landed. NCP looses their job, they get privledges taken away. How is one to find employment without a car? Nevermind if a passport or security clearances are needed for one's profession.

                  It is incredibly sad. There will always be the losers out there, like ceara's ex, who seem to deserve this treatment. But it happens to even the fathers who try and want to be a role model for their children, but for falling on hard times, cannot.

                  My advice go to the probate courts and wait there, for as long as it takes, each and every day. There should be "lawyer for a day" and or "free legal advice days" programs in your city/town. Wait there until someone can help. It sucks, but there is no other option. You don''t have the funds to retain a lawyer.

                  Keep your head up.But have faith your son will learn the truth someday!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by KAW1962
                    Well Tahari what do you expect him to do now? Seems like the child support system has taken away his ability to legally provide for his son. Does he sell his blood at the blood bank? Stand on the street corner selling drugs? Pawn stolen goods? If his child goes hungry, and let's not forget that he has 2 other children as well, the state has no one to blame but themselves. The state has very effectively created yet another dead beat dad. This is a travesty and states should never be allowed to take away a person's ability to work and support their family. This is what is so wrong about the child support system. And if what he says about his ex is true, then it is another glaring example of how some of these so called mothers are nothing more than bitter, hateful, vindictive *****es who will stop at nothing to completely destroy men's lives all at the expense of their children. I hope she can still sleep at night knowing what she has done to the father of her child. If she is that hell bent on destroying him, then she can raise her child alone.
                    Perhaps it's the PERSON that needs blame (the mother who lies and cheats to manipulate the system), rather than blame the system. Child support is necessary and when figured honestly, doesn't harm anyone. There are milliions of stories for manipulating the system from fathers who lose everything due to an agressive ex-wife who lies and cheats to ruin him - to fathers who lie and cheat and watch thier child grow up in poverty with a mother working 3 jobs and never around while they don't pay a dime of child support. PEOPLE are to blame. This guys ex wife has done a number on him. If she was honest, he should have been granted a lower child support amount based on his work situation. The state does NOT want to cause a father to become a candadite for welfare.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Tahari
                      And it doesn't benefit the child not to be able to eat either would it?

                      Well how can he feed the child, if he can't feed himself. Parents are people too. They should have rights too.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by shedo
                        Perhaps it's the PERSON that needs blame (the mother who lies and cheats to manipulate the system), rather than blame the system. Child support is necessary and when figured honestly, doesn't harm anyone. There are milliions of stories for manipulating the system from fathers who lose everything due to an agressive ex-wife who lies and cheats to ruin him - to fathers who lie and cheat and watch thier child grow up in poverty with a mother working 3 jobs and never around while they don't pay a dime of child support. PEOPLE are to blame. This guys ex wife has done a number on him. If she was honest, he should have been granted a lower child support amount based on his work situation. The state does NOT want to cause a father to become a candadite for welfare.
                        The person AND the system are both to blame. She could not have done what she has WITHOUT the involvement of the system. The system is SUPPOSED to have more wisdom than the rest of us peons, that's why they are in their positions and we are not. Guess they were not smart enough to see through the crap she laid out for them, especially as he posted earlier, she was caught in a lie and there was no recourse.

                        I agree with the basic premise of child support, because no child should have to go without. Yes, there are many fathers who don't pay support (my father included), but to make an example of those who do pay and do work their butts off to provide for their kids only to lose their jobs and their ability to provide is wrong, no matter how you slice it. The women who are caught red handed lying to manipulate the system should be held accountable, but instead they get off scott free. How is that fair?

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by KAW1962
                          Well Tahari what do you expect him to do now? Seems like the child support system has taken away his ability to legally provide for his son. Does he sell his blood at the blood bank? Stand on the street corner selling drugs? Pawn stolen goods? If his child goes hungry, and let's not forget that he has 2 other children as well, the state has no one to blame but themselves. The state has very effectively created yet another dead beat dad. This is a travesty and states should never be allowed to take away a person's ability to work and support their family. This is what is so wrong about the child support system. And if what he says about his ex is true, then it is another glaring example of how some of these so called mothers are nothing more than bitter, hateful, vindictive *****es who will stop at nothing to completely destroy men's lives all at the expense of their children. I hope she can still sleep at night knowing what she has done to the father of her child. If she is that hell bent on destroying him, then she can raise her child alone.
                          I was voicing that towards the newbie who feels cs should done with period in all cases. Yes this is a travesty you're right. I'm not saying what is occuring in his situation is right. He was payin his support up until his life turned upside down.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by KAW1962
                            The person AND the system are both to blame. She could not have done what she has WITHOUT the involvement of the system. The system is SUPPOSED to have more wisdom than the rest of us peons, that's why they are in their positions and we are not. Guess they were not smart enough to see through the crap she laid out for them, especially as he posted earlier, she was caught in a lie and there was no recourse.

                            I agree with the basic premise of child support, because no child should have to go without. Yes, there are many fathers who don't pay support (my father included), but to make an example of those who do pay and do work their butts off to provide for their kids only to lose their jobs and their ability to provide is wrong, no matter how you slice it. The women who are caught red handed lying to manipulate the system should be held accountable, but instead they get off scott free. How is that fair?
                            Also because this new perosn believes CS should not even exist which probably means she feels that men and i say men because the majority of the deadbeats are men should have no obligation to what they've created or started. There are ex boyfriends and husbands who could just easily walk away from their families and obligations without recourse. That's pretty much what I m getting from her posts. We all know CS isn't going to ever be right. They will never charge those men who should be doing what they are supposed to be doing. And those that are caught are made examples of. I always say this. It's a sad system being abused on both ends.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              By giving the PCP the support not only are you double hitting the NCP, but you give the PCP all the control. If people would act like adults CS would not be neccessary. Parents would share joint expenses like activites and medical expenses and approve as real family would. By giving the PCP all the control they can do whatever they want and make the NCP pay for it. From what everyone has been telling me CS is not about a child's needs, it is about "lifestyle." They way the laws are is just encouraging the golddiggers to come out and work the system. Well from every situation I've personally seen the only person's lifestyle it has improved is the PCP not the child. I've been that child and CS is not neccessary or fair. It is interesting that one of threads on here the NCP was actually recieving support because of this whole lifestyle thing. I found that very interesting. Its a completely different perspective and the law and as such assumed fair. CS is not designed to support a child, but the parent.

                              In this poor case, if the parents were together and he lost his job they would have another income to support the family. He wouldn't be penalized by a circumstance out of his control. Why should he be penalized with not being able to find another job because he is not with that person?

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X