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North Carolina- Child Support and Moving states

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  • North Carolina- Child Support and Moving states

    For the last 4-5 years I have been paying child support for a child with my ex. First of all there is doubt as to whether or not the child is even mine. However, here in North Carolina they do not automatically do paternity tests when the father signs the birth certificate. I was 19 and a virgin when we hooked up. After the childs birth I thought the right thing to do was to sign the certificate. They dont teach you in school about the drawbacks of doing so. So I was young and stupid. We all are guilty of that to some extent. Anyway, my Ex does not want me to be a part of the childs life, and to be honest after this long of not being IN his life, I feel it would do him more psycological harm, than any good. Not much I can do about it anyway seeing as how in NC a child born out of wedlock, full custody is auotmatically given to the mother. Well now the mother just informed me, via email, that she will be moving to Maryland next week. How will this affect child support, and what can i do? I know most of you would say get a paternity test. Between my bills and paying child support to avoid jail, i havent been able to save any money and have just barely been staying afloat. From what Child Services has told me I would have to pay an attourney to petition the court. My mistake was on the first day of court (11 months AFTER the mother first filed papers) i waved my rights to a public defender. Again I was young and stupid and had no idea what rollercoaster ride I was going to be involved with. But even if I had the money right now to do that, there is still a chance the child is mine. (Better chance he isnt, seeing as she was sleeping with someone else as well and I have at least a 40-60% chance of being sterile). So thats my problem. If she does move, does that mean she has to refile for child support in maryland? Is there some way I can prevent her from moving? Any thoughts and help would be appreciated

  • #2
    Originally posted by qwertyCoder23 View Post
    For the last 4-5 years I have been paying child support for a child with my ex. First of all there is doubt as to whether or not the child is even mine.

    Legally he is.


    However, here in North Carolina they do not automatically do paternity tests when the father signs the birth certificate.

    You could have requested one yourself before signing anything.


    I was 19 and a virgin when we hooked up. After the childs birth I thought the right thing to do was to sign the certificate. They dont teach you in school about the drawbacks of doing so. So I was young and stupid. We all are guilty of that to some extent. Anyway, my Ex does not want me to be a part of the childs life, and to be honest after this long of not being IN his life, I feel it would do him more psycological harm, than any good.

    He's only 4. There's a great chance you can successfully reintroduce yourselves and become a wonderful part of each other's lives.


    Not much I can do about it anyway seeing as how in NC a child born out of wedlock, full custody is auotmatically given to the mother.
    It's not automatically "given", as much as it's the default. It doesn't mean YOU can't file for joint custody and visitation though.


    Well now the mother just informed me, via email, that she will be moving to Maryland next week. How will this affect child support, and what can i do? I know most of you would say get a paternity test. Between my bills and paying child support to avoid jail, i havent been able to save any money and have just barely been staying afloat. From what Child Services has told me I would have to pay an attourney to petition the court. My mistake was on the first day of court (11 months AFTER the mother first filed papers) i waved my rights to a public defender. Again I was young and stupid and had no idea what rollercoaster ride I was going to be involved with. But even if I had the money right now to do that, there is still a chance the child is mine. (Better chance he isnt, seeing as she was sleeping with someone else as well and I have at least a 40-60% chance of being sterile). So thats my problem. If she does move, does that mean she has to refile for child support in maryland? Is there some way I can prevent her from moving? Any thoughts and help would be appreciated


    You're not going to like this, so please don't shoot the messenger.

    No, you cannot stop her from relocating.

    If you had a relationship with your child - who IS legally your child - you may have had a shot at preventing her from relocating the child. As it is, you have no chance.

    It won't affect child support; it will still be based on NC child support guidelines. She can have the order domesticated in MD very easily.

    I'm really not sure what you're asking though, about child support. Are you asking if it will be stopped? Changed?

    (The answer to both is "no", btw)

    You are absolutely entitled to have a relationship with your son. There's nothing stopping you.
    Last edited by Dogmatique; 08-04-2011, 07:24 PM.

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    • #3
      I know NOW that I should have done things differently. But at the time I signed the birth certificate I thought thats what the right thing to do was. And no hes not 4, he will be 7 in october. I just havent been allowed to see him since a little after his 2nd birthday. And as for custody and/or visitation. That requires money, a lawyer, and time. Time and money I dont have because Ive been shelling out 230$ a month for the past (almost) 5 years. Child Support Enforcement people keep feeding me this crap about how thats the minimum amount for a single child in NC. But I know thats BS because my most recent ex got hit for childsupport about a year ago. Total came to around 150$ for 3 kids. Wheres the justice in that? Lets say I do come up with the means to have a paternity test ordered. If its before she leaves (which i doubt) and it comes back negative. Could i potentially file a lawsuit against her for the money I have paid over the years? Or more likely, I petition for paternity test AFTER she moves. Is she legally bound to appear with him in court and submit to the test? What happens if she doesnt show up?

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      • #4
        Originally posted by qwertyCoder23 View Post
        I know NOW that I should have done things differently. But at the time I signed the birth certificate I thought thats what the right thing to do was. And no hes not 4, he will be 7 in october. I just havent been allowed to see him since a little after his 2nd birthday.

        What have you done about that?


        And as for custody and/or visitation. That requires money, a lawyer, and time.
        No, it requires time, patience and dedication. Many parents have successfully filed for and obtained joined and even full custody of their children pro se/pro per - in other words, without an attorney.


        Time and money I dont have because Ive been shelling out 230$ a month for the past (almost) 5 years

        I hate to say this, but do you honestly think that's a huge amount?

        Do you have any real idea how much it costs to raise a child?


        . Child Support Enforcement people keep feeding me this crap about how thats the minimum amount for a single child in NC. But I know thats BS because my most recent ex got hit for childsupport about a year ago. Total came to around 150$ for 3 kids. Wheres the justice in that?

        Your ex isn't you. Circumstances and time-sharing could come into play. Worry less about other people and more about your own child.


        Lets say I do come up with the means to have a paternity test ordered.

        Stop.

        Your child is almost 7 years old. It's too late - per state statute - for you to challenge paternity. Don't waste your money trying. The child is yours, legally.


        If its before she leaves (which i doubt) and it comes back negative. Could i potentially file a lawsuit against her for the money I have paid over the years? Or more likely, I petition for paternity test AFTER she moves. Is she legally bound to appear with him in court and submit to the test? What happens if she doesnt show up?

        It's moot.

        You cannot challenge paternity at this point.

        You are Dad. End of story. What you do about it now is entirely your choice.

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