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Step Parent Interference??

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  • Step Parent Interference??

    Can anyone help?
    I have been divorced for 6 years and share 50/50 with my ex (remarried). My son is 9.

    The SM(step mother) speaks to my sons teacher... arranges to be in the classroom, signs school papers. I don't receive all the school notices/information that goes home (school pictures, etc) if it goes out on his dads day. The SM refers to herself as my sons mom and at one point made my son call her mom. She tries to take him to his medical appointments and makes arrangements that I have always done. My son is afraid of her. She will not allow my son to mention my name in their home.

    A few months ago my son reluctantly told me I was a demon. 10 days later I received an email from his dad with a scripture that spoke of the devil. (1st scripture I had ever rec'd on his email and none since). My son is stressed out because they are telling him things like: I go to church on the wrong day-so I'm not going to heaven, etc. He is confused and upset. He has trouble sleeping at night and beggs to sleep with me. He worries that I am going to die and doesn't want to leave my sight.

    My ex arranged for he and I to go to counseling a few years ago. The counselor told him his wife was over stepping her boundaries. My ex disagreed and refused to go back again.

    FROR. His dad works m-f 7-4.. he will pick my son up on his day, on his lunch hour... and take him somewhere to be babysat... either by his 15 y/o step sister or aunt (which is also his babysitter). When his step mother is off work.. he refuses to let me pick him up early -even though he is at work. On his day.. but he is at work- He won't let me have my son -(4 hour FROR) because he has his wife bring him to his work for lunch and he says that voids the 4 hour clause. He does things so that I do not have more time with my child.... but he doesn't either. He would rather someone else watch him than ME- his mother. Does the FROR mean that step family have the same rights as me? I thought it was either bio-mom or bio-dad ..no others.

    When I call to speak to my son at his dads house... I have a difficult time getting through on his dads cell or step mothers cell (no land line)... so I got my son his own cell phone for direct access.. they don't agree with the idea and say it is not necessary that I speak to my son everyday and if they feel it interfers with their family, then they will not let him have it. WHich of course defeats my purpose. I use to talk to my son every day, but they put a stop to that!

    Any advice? Am I being petty?

  • #2
    FROR means that the PARENTS have the right of refusal, not the stepparent/aunt/uncle/cousin/grandmother/neighbor etc. - in allowing someone else to get kiddo when the FROR would apply Dad is actually defeating the whole point of the FROR.

    I don't think you're being petty here actually. I think you have some genuine concerns - but I'm just not entirely sure what you're going to accomplish.

    If you can prove the alienation (because this IS alienation), get yourself to an attorney asap because that is often grounds to modify custody though usually Dad will get a slap on the wrist at first.

    I'd absolutely push the fact that she's listing herself as the parent at school - this is a major no-no.

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    • #3
      Thank you for responding! I have written down what my son tells me, but I'm not sure how much weight it will carry. I don't have proof about the school thing -school is out right now, but I'm not sure they will want to be involved anyways.

      I have a couple emails that might help. I made an appointment with an attorney.. guess we'll see if there's anything that can be done. If it doesn't back fire, then maybe it'll at least make them back off a bit.

      Thanks again! I truly hate the whole divorce/custody battle.. it's been pretty hard on my kiddo.

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