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  • Need advice Wisconsin

    My ex-hub and I divorce two years ago. we have two children (5 and 4yrs old) together. instead of having the kids going back and forth every other weeks.. we verbally agree to having my daughter stay with me and my son stay with him because they attend school and we both live 1.5 hrs away from one another. Any how, now i'm concern about my son and begin marry to my ex for 5 years i know what kind of father he is. I know he's not taking good care of my son. Every time I go pick my son for a visit he would look dirty as if my ex doesn't give him a bath. Or he would have marks on his body and my ex claim it's from my son playing with others. Not only that but my son gain 20+ lbs since a year ago so now he's overweight and all his dad say to me was.. that my son goes and search his own food to eat.. well..! if his dad have kept an eye on him and control what he can have and when then he wouldn't be over weight. My ex doesn't want any kids but at the same time he doesn't want to pay child support so he kept my son because he doesn't want to pay. I want to fight for physical custody of my son because i'm very concern for his health. I believe I am the only one who will be able to help him out. When he visited me.. I give him healthy food, take him to the park or zoo and do activity outside with him. I'm the only one who takes him to his yearly doctor appointment. Their dad never ever take them near the doctor.. not even when I was pregnant with them.

    What proof/evidence do I need to be able to fight for him?

  • #2
    Go to court and file for custody.

    If dad objects though, you'll have to prove a substantial change in your son's circumstances and nothing you've said here shows that one has taken place...perhaps.

    Have you taken the child to the doctor about his weight gain?

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    • #3
      You have a verbal agreement on custody from your post but what does your actual divorce decree say on the custody of the children? Was one parent awarded custody with visitation by the other parent?

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Dogmatique View Post
        Go to court and file for custody.

        If dad objects though, you'll have to prove a substantial change in your son's circumstances and nothing you've said here shows that one has taken place...perhaps.

        Have you taken the child to the doctor about his weight gain?
        Yes, I'm the only one who make sure they are up to date with their shots and take them to their yearly visitation.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Blessed123 View Post
          You have a verbal agreement on custody from your post but what does your actual divorce decree say on the custody of the children? Was one parent awarded custody with visitation by the other parent?
          During the time of divorce I didn't think i was gonna moved out of the area but I moved to be closer to family since I have no one in the area he lived in. Both children have to be with one parent every other week as it said on the final divorce decree. The verbal agreement was much later after everything was finalize.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by skv2010 View Post
            Yes, I'm the only one who make sure they are up to date with their shots and take them to their yearly visitation.

            .....

            So what did the doctor say?

            It matters.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Dogmatique View Post
              .....

              So what did the doctor say?

              It matters.
              The doctor say my son gained 20lb since of May 2009 and they ran some blood test. Which came back that his thyroid hormones are a little above normal. I'm concern because I have graves disease (hyperthyroidism) and that they will do more test during his visit again in August 2010. If he does indeed have what I have then I want him to stay with me because I know I will take good care of him and I just don't trust his dad because his dad doesn't care for anyone else but himself. I know for a fact that his dad doesn't watch him like he is suppose too. Always have him stay with his parents. Beside all that the house is going into forclosure and he is just staying with his parents which he isn't suppose to.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by skv2010 View Post
                The doctor say my son gained 20lb since of May 2009 and they ran some blood test. Which came back that his thyroid hormones are a little above normal. I'm concern because I have graves disease (hyperthyroidism) and that they will do more test during his visit again in August 2010. If he does indeed have what I have then I want him to stay with me because I know I will take good care of him and I just don't trust his dad because his dad doesn't care for anyone else but himself. I know for a fact that his dad doesn't watch him like he is suppose too. Always have him stay with his parents. Beside all that the house is going into forclosure and he is just staying with his parents which he isn't suppose to.


                Unless you can show that Dad's actions are directly negatively affecting your son's health - and from what you've said here you can't necessarily do that, since it turns out kiddo may have a medical reason for the weight gain rather than simply eating too much bad stuff - I honestly cannot see you succeeding in changing custody.


                Now why isn't Dad supposed to be staying with his parents? Says who?

                Dad is allowed to have others watch kiddo too, btw.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Dogmatique View Post
                  Unless you can show that Dad's actions are directly negatively affecting your son's health - and from what you've said here you can't necessarily do that, since it turns out kiddo may have a medical reason for the weight gain rather than simply eating too much bad stuff - I honestly cannot see you succeeding in changing custody.


                  Now why isn't Dad supposed to be staying with his parents? Says who?

                  Dad is allowed to have others watch kiddo too, btw.
                  His parents are on disability pay and the house that they lived on is only for certain household members only. I buy my son clothes, jacket, shoes, toys etc.. but I never seen him buy my daughter anything.. I buy it for my son because I see that he doesn't have good clothes to wear.

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