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Should I allow my EX to move out of state with my son?

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  • Should I allow my EX to move out of state with my son?

    I need some personal and legal advice badly. Iím a divorced single father and my son is my life. Our agreement and the past aside my ex is a good mother. She wants to move to Indiana because of family, schooling, cost of living, etc. Now we are located very close to the boarder so drive time is not a concern but my rights are. While I feel like it cant get any worse I would like to use this opportunity to gain more time with my son. Generally speaking we have been able to resolve all matters outside of court. I know my rights prevent her from moving to Indiana w/o my consent. However, what I donít know are my rights after the fact. If this is me signing my rights away forgetaboutit.

    Overview: I have joint custody of my son who's 3 years old. My current schedule is Thursday (5pm-8:30am Fri) and every other weekend (5pm-5pm Sunday). We split our holidays & rotate. I pay child support and half of all daycare expenses. My son currently lives 15 miles away and I do all the driving or we will meet up half way.

    Ideas: I need to know my rights. In addition she drives half, I get a week of vacation time in the summer, spring and winter, and no less than the same amount together regardless of drive time? *I feel like Iím missing out because most of this I should have already but Iím trying.

    Note: Iíve been laid off for the last year but this hasnít prevented me from my financial responsibilities. However, I maybe starting a new job in the near future which will require some changes in my schedule. Iím going to need her to be flexible with me and she knows this and is willing to make whatever work. Her lease is up in March but I wonít know my regular schedule till after. I may get stuck working nights and weekends w. two days off during the week worse case. This is only temporary (6-12months). The two days I donít work will have to be the days I have my son. In addition to the day during the week that will work best for us.

    I really do appreciate your advice,

    Jim

  • #2
    Originally posted by Proudfather View Post
    I need some personal and legal advice badly. Iím a divorced single father and my son is my life. Our agreement and the past aside my ex is a good mother. She wants to move to Indiana because of family, schooling, cost of living, etc. Now we are located very close to the boarder so drive time is not a concern but my rights are. While I feel like it cant get any worse I would like to use this opportunity to gain more time with my son. Generally speaking we have been able to resolve all matters outside of court. I know my rights prevent her from moving to Indiana w/o my consent. However, what I donít know are my rights after the fact. If this is me signing my rights away forgetaboutit.

    Overview: I have joint custody of my son who's 3 years old. My current schedule is Thursday (5pm-8:30am Fri) and every other weekend (5pm-5pm Sunday). We split our holidays & rotate. I pay child support and half of all daycare expenses. My son currently lives 15 miles away and I do all the driving or we will meet up half way.

    Ideas: I need to know my rights. In addition she drives half, I get a week of vacation time in the summer, spring and winter, and no less than the same amount together regardless of drive time? *I feel like Iím missing out because most of this I should have already but Iím trying.

    Note: Iíve been laid off for the last year but this hasnít prevented me from my financial responsibilities. However, I maybe starting a new job in the near future which will require some changes in my schedule. Iím going to need her to be flexible with me and she knows this and is willing to make whatever work. Her lease is up in March but I wonít know my regular schedule till after. I may get stuck working nights and weekends w. two days off during the week worse case. This is only temporary (6-12months). The two days I donít work will have to be the days I have my son. In addition to the day during the week that will work best for us.

    I really do appreciate your advice,

    Jim
    Currently your son is 15 miles away, correct?

    How far away will he be if you agree to the move?

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    • #3
      45-50 max so she will be driving at least half way.

      Comment


      • #4
        This isnt my area of expertise but the first thing that comes to mind (based on personal expereince) is that if you have an informal agreement that she will drive half way, dont be surprised if you wind up driving the whole distance both ways after a while.

        If she doenst feel like driving half way to get your son to her, there is nothing to copel her to do that (legally) and you get stuck into the issue of if you want to see your son, you have to go get him and drive him back.

        Just something to think about...
        I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
        Thomas Jefferson

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Proudfather View Post
          45-50 max so she will be driving at least half way.
          Since the two of you are in agreement you really should file for a modification so that it will be enforceable for both of you.

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