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Pennsylvania Custody/ Visitaion question

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  • Pennsylvania Custody/ Visitaion question

    I am pregnant and live with my boyfriend in a house we rent.
    the relationship has turned awful, no violence from him besides trying to move me out of his way by picking me up and me having my leg bruised against a wall one time. i took pictures of my bruise on my phone but he deleted the picture. no violence from me towards him besides smacking him with the tv remote on his arm once, he took pictures of the red mark on his arm and saved them.

    i want to end this relationship and move out. my concern is for my unborn baby. there is no way i want my boyfriend out of my childs life. i want him there for her and see her as often as possible and be involved in her life.

    i have a few questions though.
    I have told him that since we will not be married when the baby is born, it will have my last name and not his. he said if that happens, he will sign off all parental rights towards the baby. IS THAT POSSIBLE? can he actually do this just because the baby doesn't have his last name?

    another question.
    i have has some issues with depression in the past. ten years ago, when i was 18, i was on medication for depression and was in a mental institution twice. i have had problems with self harm in the past, and every now and then i hurt myself.
    he says that he is going to have my baby taken away from me because of that. IS THAT POSSIBLE??

    another question.
    he has a drinking problem. it's to the point where he gets drunk and passes out and sleeps for hours when his two kids are here. this is not all the time, but it has happened on a few occasions. he has admitted himself that he has a problem with drinking. he drinks a 6 pack or 12 pack everyday.
    i would prefer my child not to be alone and dependent on a father that does this behavior.
    will this play a part into custody?

    i am convinced that it is in the best interest for me to stay with him, despite our awful relationship, for the good of the baby. but it's getting bad between us. we have tried counseling, but he didn't want to go anymore.

    thanks in advance for your replies.

  • #2
    Re: your question about him signing away his parental, that's not even remotely possible. Paternal rights have to be removed by the court, and that generally only happens in extreme cases of abuse or when a step-parent who has been in the picture for a long time is seeking to adopt. No court is going to deny your child a legal father just because daddy's mad that the baby doesn't have his name.

    As to your questions about whether each of you can take the baby away from the other - no one here can answer those questions. If it comes down to a custody battle, the court will try to determine which living situation is better for the child.

    I don't know you and your life, but I will say that two parents who hate each other is not a better situation for a child than one happy parent.

    Don't hit him. If he hits you, don't take a picture and save it in case you need it (what are you guys, 12?), go down to the police station and fill out a report and let them take and keep the pictures. If he passes out while his kids are visiting again, call CPS. Saving this stuff up for court is petty and childish.
    Last edited by CarynG; 01-01-2010, 06:49 PM. Reason: clarification