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Do I have the right to ask for CS after all this time? Mississippi

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  • Do I have the right to ask for CS after all this time? Mississippi

    I have a court order in Desoto County, MS (my daughter's father) used to live there. I was living in FL at the time we agreed to the court order. He was required to pick her up in FL for his visitations as well as drop her off in lieu of paying child support ($160/m). I also agreed to allow him claim her on his taxed every other year. With this being said he was not allow to miss 2 visitations in a row or else he would lose his tax rights that year. He made sure he picked her up every other month when it was his year to claim her but would skip 2-3 months when it was my year. I know that he is not required to pay child support in the current order but I have asked him over and over again to please help me buy her clothes, shoes, etc. for school and he just will NOT do it!!! She wants to start gymnastics but I canít pay it on my own and he will not help. I don't think that it is fare. I have physical custody with both of us having joint legal.

    In the meantime I recently moved to Birmingham, AL (3.5 hours) away from him. He also went through the police academy in MS and has been a cop for over the past 1.5 years. I know he is making decent $ because he just purchased a new truck and told me less than three weeks ago that he was about to buy a new horse!!! A new horse doesn't feed our daughter!!!! I am infuriated!!! I need help. I am a single mom who makes less than $32,000/year. I tried being the nice guy for 3 years and I am OVER it. My questions are:

    1. Since he lives in Panola County, not Desoto County (where the original order was filed) and I live in AL now can I have the venue changed to AL or does it remain in MS and if so what County?

    2. Do I have the right to ask for CS since I let him off?

    3. Can I ask the Courts to NOT allow him to claim her on his taxes at all?

    4. How do I go about starting the process? Do I tell him what I am doing or just let him get served first?

    5. What is joint legal custody? Does this mean that he will not have to pay CS?

    6. Is there any law that states the one parent can get out of paying child support even if both parents agree to it? I feel as if my former attorney took advantage of me. I donít understand the laws and was very confused at the time we went to court.


    I don't mind the visitation schedule that we have in place. It works out nice for both of us. I just need help. Please!!!!

  • #2
    Originally posted by mom1 View Post
    I have a court order in Desoto County, MS (my daughter's father) used to live there. I was living in FL at the time we agreed to the court order. He was required to pick her up in FL for his visitations as well as drop her off in lieu of paying child support ($160/m). I also agreed to allow him claim her on his taxed every other year. With this being said he was not allow to miss 2 visitations in a row or else he would lose his tax rights that year. He made sure he picked her up every other month when it was his year to claim her but would skip 2-3 months when it was my year. I know that he is not required to pay child support in the current order but I have asked him over and over again to please help me buy her clothes, shoes, etc. for school and he just will NOT do it!!! She wants to start gymnastics but I canít pay it on my own and he will not help. I don't think that it is fare. I have physical custody with both of us having joint legal.

    In the meantime I recently moved to Birmingham, AL (3.5 hours) away from him. He also went through the police academy in MS and has been a cop for over the past 1.5 years. I know he is making decent $ because he just purchased a new truck and told me less than three weeks ago that he was about to buy a new horse!!! A new horse doesn't feed our daughter!!!! I am infuriated!!! I need help. I am a single mom who makes less than $32,000/year. I tried being the nice guy for 3 years and I am OVER it. My questions are:

    1. Since he lives in Panola County, not Desoto County (where the original order was filed) and I live in AL now can I have the venue changed to AL or does it remain in MS and if so what County?

    2. Do I have the right to ask for CS since I let him off?

    3. Can I ask the Courts to NOT allow him to claim her on his taxes at all?

    4. How do I go about starting the process? Do I tell him what I am doing or just let him get served first?

    5. What is joint legal custody? Does this mean that he will not have to pay CS?

    6. Is there any law that states the one parent can get out of paying child support even if both parents agree to it? I feel as if my former attorney took advantage of me. I donít understand the laws and was very confused at the time we went to court.


    I don't mind the visitation schedule that we have in place. It works out nice for both of us. I just need help. Please!!!!
    1. The order will remain in MS as long as he lives there. He can file for a change of venue to Panola County.

    2. Yes, you have the right to file for a modification and request CS. However, you will only be able to get retro support back to the date of filing for the modification.

    3. Claiming the deduction every other year is pretty standard, so be prepared for the court to deny that request. You can request that he lose the deduction if he ever falls behind in the CS though.

    4. You start the process by filing a petition for modification. If the state CSE agency is involved in your case, you can ask them to file. You can also hire an attorney, or file on your own (pro-se). You can probably find the forms by Googling or asking the court clerk's office. You aren't under any legal obligation to tell him, if you want you can just wait for him to be served. You know him better than anyone else, it's completely up to you.

    5. Joint legal custody is where both parents have equal rights in decision making, etc. If he is earning more than you, he can be ordered to pay CS even with joint legal or even 50/50 custody.

    6. When both parents agree to neither paying support, that is always modifiable if the circumstances change. This is something that, right or wrong, you agreed to when the order was issued, so all you can do now is prove to the court that the circumstances have changed and request CS to be ordered now.

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    • #3
      You can file for child support, but be aware that since you created more distance between you, his support may be offset by his travelling expenses, or you may have to pay those expenses.

      Did you inform him/court of the move? What was his response?

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by ohio_granny View Post
        You can file for child support, but be aware that since you created more distance between you, his support may be offset by his travelling expenses, or you may have to pay those expenses.

        Did you inform him/court of the move? What was his response?

        I moved closer. I lived in FL for 3 years and just recently moved to AL in June. I was 8 hours away and now I am 3.5 hours away. He still doesn't get her like the visitation agreement says. With this being said I could move next door to him and he still wouldn't get her. I know this because I use to live less than 5 mile from him! I informed him of my move to FL way before I moved. He and his family were okay with it. In our agreement I have to inform him if I ever move more than 8 hours from him again. This will not happen as AL is now my forever home :-)


        She is getting much older now, almost 7 and is wanting to a lot of extra things (gymnastics, cheerleading, etc.) that I can't pay for as I am paying for everything else. She is growing like a weed and I am constantly buying her new clothes and shoes. She always has something coming up at school that I am having to purchase. It is getting REALLY hard. I have asked him OVER and OVER againt to PLEASE help. I told him I would give him receipts if he needed them so he could reimburse me but HE WILL NOT do it!! He is just bought a new truck, new house and is about to buy a new horse!!! A horse doesn't put clothes on her back or pay for extra things! His parents won't even help. His dad is a preacher!!!! I HATE myself for ever signing those court documents.

        Comment


        • #5
          As far as I understand, child support is suppose to pay for things like shoes and clothing and education, not extra activites such as gymnatics and cheerleading.

          It might be extreamly tough for you to say "Sorry honey, we just can't afford that right now," but it might help your daughter understand fiscal responsiblity in the long run.

          Doing without is very tough. And sometimes not "fitting in" because all your friends do something and you can't is also very tough. In the long run, it may be character building for your daughter as well. After all, she's only seven.

          Check around your community and school district for activities that your daughter can participate in for little or no cost. Four-H clubs, nature clubs, and the likes usually sometimes have small or no membership dues. Look for a local community pool, they often have swim programs for kids that are fun and affordable.

          If she must participate in a "glam" sort of activity, then inform her she can only do ONE activity, such as gymnastics OR cheerleading, not both. The nature, and attention span, of a seven-year-old is very fickled, and likely she could spend three weeks in an activity and then not want to go anymore, and you're out an entire year's worth of dues.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by VeterinaryGroup View Post
            As far as I understand, child support is suppose to pay for things like shoes and clothing and education, not extra activites such as gymnatics and cheerleading.

            It might be extreamly tough for you to say "Sorry honey, we just can't afford that right now," but it might help your daughter understand fiscal responsiblity in the long run.

            Doing without is very tough. And sometimes not "fitting in" because all your friends do something and you can't is also very tough. In the long run, it may be character building for your daughter as well. After all, she's only seven.

            Check around your community and school district for activities that your daughter can participate in for little or no cost. Four-H clubs, nature clubs, and the likes usually sometimes have small or no membership dues. Look for a local community pool, they often have swim programs for kids that are fun and affordable.

            If she must participate in a "glam" sort of activity, then inform her she can only do ONE activity, such as gymnastics OR cheerleading, not both. The nature, and attention span, of a seven-year-old is very fickled, and likely she could spend three weeks in an activity and then not want to go anymore, and you're out an entire year's worth of dues.

            I appreciate your response but this is NOT about him paying for extra activities. I have asked him to help buy clothes and shoes for her as well as help with educational trips she has with her school. He will NOT do it for some reason. It is because the current order says he doesn't have too. If he would just help with those things I would be able to afford to allow her do one extra thing, not two or three. I understand that we agreed to him not having to pay CS in lieu of him traveling to pick her up but he is not even keeping up with his end of the deal. He doesn't even get her like the order states. He ALWAYS skips at least every other month, sometimes even more than that. I have more than 5 times driven her all the way to MS because I was going that way to visit family. He hasn't even once asked if he could pay for my gas, food anything. He has also called me in the past asking me to meet him half-way because he was too tired to drive. Guess what? I did it because I know how important it is for them two to have a relationship. Why won't he help her??? I couldn't live with myself knowing that I wasn't supporting my daugher.....even if the order states he doesn't have too.

            Comment


            • #7
              As to his motives why he isn't interested in providing more financial support for his daughter, I couldn't tell you.

              Your best bet then, is to consult a lawyer about getting the terms of your custody, child support, and whatever other agreements you have changed. Unless he is absolutely, legally HAS TO as enforced by the court order and law, I don't think your ex is going to be motivated at all.

              You must also stand your ground and demand that he act according to his end of the bargin. Yes, you give into his demands for the sake of your daughter, but obviously it is allowing him to play her off of you. Document every instance he doesn't uphold his end. Such documentation will also help in court to change your agreements.

              Comment


              • #8
                Thanks! I am already pulling phone records, receipts, etc. I want to have everything in order before I contact an attorney.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by VeterinaryGroup View Post
                  As far as I understand, child support is suppose to pay for things like shoes and clothing and education, not extra activites such as gymnatics and cheerleading.
                  Child support is for the parents to share the financial cost of raising a child. The support amount is usually based on a formula, decided by the state, that takes into account the parents' respective incomes, with other mitigating factors. The amount of the support will not differ based on whether the child is enrolled in extracurricular activities, unless a clause is added to the agreement to cover how such expenses are to be shared. Otherwise, incurring such expenses is usually the custodial parent's decision and the cost comes out of that parent's pocket. The parent receiving the support decides how the support will be spent (except where specifically designated in the court order), and the other parent has no legal standing to complain unless the money is being so misspent that the child does not have basic food, clothing, and shelter.

                  Sorry, we get a lot of NCPs here (and NCPs' significant others) complaining that the CP is misspending child support because the CP can afford to pay for extras or because the CP's family is better off. It's not about that - it's about two parents who created a child sharing in the cost of raising that child. This father hasn't been contributing. If him paying his share means that Mom can afford to pay for summer camp or cheerleading team dues instead of sticking to the basics, that's no one's business but hers. If it means she gets to get her nails done once a week, that's no one's business but hers, either.
                  Last edited by CarynG; 11-11-2008, 04:41 PM. Reason: extra word

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