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  • Proof Louisiana

    The kids just returned from a weekend visit with their mother whom they have not seen in 2 months. The mother of my step children is renting a 5 bedroom house with a pool. Here is the problem. Their mother, step father, and baby brother share 1 room. The second room is rented to a couple. The third room is rented to another couple. Her mother (the grandmother of my step children) is in the fourth room. The brother of one of the men is staying in the fifth room. The boys slept in the room with their grandmother. While my step daughter slept in the room with her mother, step father, and baby brother.

    What is the best way for my husband to document the living conditions and get proof of all of the people living there when the children visit with their mother? If my husband files for child support, does this living arrangement affect it at all?

  • #2
    We went through a similar situation here. Now granted I don't live in LA but I know that a couple of things that my attorney told me to do is document everything the children tell you. Write down the dates, times, etc. You can try calling Child Protective Services if you think it is unsafe due to amount of people. If they collect any type of Section 8 or housing assistance that you know of you can try contacting them and have them do an investigation. Anything other than that the only thing I can suggest is to consult an attorney or if you qualify legal assistance for your city/state.

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    • #3
      I would definetly say no more sleepovers! Is it court ordered? Visitation would be a big issue because they are "sleeping" there.
      Definetly file for child support...I don't believe living arrangements matter but she must be making a lot of money with all the tenants!

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      • #4
        MSK, was there ever an order issued that granted her any visitation rights? Is the mother back in the US?
        HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
        How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
        (unique up on him)
        How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
        (same way)

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        • #5
          Originally posted by sarita97 View Post
          I would definetly say no more sleepovers! Is it court ordered? Visitation would be a big issue because they are "sleeping" there.
          Definetly file for child support...I don't believe living arrangements matter but she must be making a lot of money with all the tenants!
          Until we know if there is a court order for visitaiton, this is a very irresponsible response. Please make sure what you are advising is correct and legal before posting.
          HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
          How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
          (unique up on him)
          How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
          (same way)

          Comment


          • #6
            I am sorry if this was irresponsible... I am not a lawyer nor can I give legal advice. This was just my opinion. Please take advice from a lawyer and please disregard my opinion.

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            • #7
              She has been back since December 07. There is no court order for visitation or child support.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by MissingStepkids View Post
                She has been back since December 07. There is no court order for visitation or child support.
                Okay, I'm going to tell you again that Dad needs to stop worrying about making sure that everything is fair and equal and solicitous of Mom's and the kid's feelings.

                He has a legal and moral duty to protect these children. That comes before ANYTHING. There is no order for visitation. He needs to stop allowing visitation. If she wants visitation, she can get up off her butt and pony up the cash (not to mention actually put some sort of case together) and take him to court for what she thinks she should have.

                There is enough history here that Dad is not in jeopardy of being fileted by the court for denying visitation.
                Last edited by mommyof4; 05-28-2008, 08:51 AM.
                HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
                How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
                (unique up on him)
                How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
                (same way)

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by sarita97 View Post
                  I am sorry if this was irresponsible... I am not a lawyer nor can I give legal advice. This was just my opinion. Please take advice from a lawyer and please disregard my opinion.
                  Sarita, I was pretty certain that there was no order for visitation in this case as I am aware of the history. However, I was making sure.

                  Your advice in this instance was fine. Just make sure that you verify that there is no court order for visitation before you suggest that visitation be withheld, okay?

                  Thank you for your classy reply and your understanding.
                  HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
                  How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
                  (unique up on him)
                  How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
                  (same way)

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    To:Missingstepkids

                    I know that good parents have a tendency to want to make sure they don't stand in the way of bio-parents and childrens relationships........ therefore you may not be forcing her to file for visitation, etc. out of a sense of "doing what's right" for the kids....

                    Speaking as a parent of a step-daughter who was forced to live in such an atmosphere while with her bio-mom, let me say this............ Put the children's safety and health above their feelings. Yes, they may want to see Mom, and Mom will want to see them, but their safety and health come FIRST.

                    If you feel it necessary, do what we did once we began to suspect that bio-mom had possibly been a part of abusing our daughter... we told her (Mom) and our daughter, "Your bio-mom's home is not safe right now, and until it is you will only be able to see her for supervised visits." We met in the park & everyone played (my kids and hers) for about 2 hours.

                    No one was hurt, everyone was safe, feelings were "less" hurt... and it also allowed my step-daughter to FEEL safe.......... whereby she confessed the abuse she had suffered in her mother's home. She didn't feel safe confessing it to me until she KNEW I was going to keep her safe....

                    God Bless!
                    Amy

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