Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Is There Any Defense For contempt of court for failure to pay child support New Jersey

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #31
    Originally posted by mommyof4 View Post
    And it is NOT just a money thing. It is your legal responsibility to support your children per the court order. You didn't do that and did nothing to contest the order.

    Your children and your ex's friends are not going to do you any good. You want to know how the judge is going to react when you drag your kids (that you refused to support) into court to testify against the person that DID support them for you? You are going to get your butt handed to you on a plate served up with a nice baked potato and A1 steak sauce. That's IF the judge even lets anyone in the courtroom other than legal counsel, yourself, and your ex.

    Quit wallowing in self pity over a situation solely of your making.

    Beg or borrow the money from somewhere. You can try to work out a payment schedule (but it won't be a schedule for $25/month), but at this point, it very well may be too late.

    Reattach your 'set' and deal with this like an adult instead of like a whimpering little kid.

    If her children are so disrespectful and unappreciative of everything their mother has done to support them when their father wouldn't step up, that's says something about the girls (and that something isn't good). How would you feel if your daugther had a child and the father of that child refused to pay support? Would you think that was just fine and dandy that your daughter was left to solely support the child? If so, then you are not as much of a wonderful father as you think you are.

    How about YOU be honest with everyone and admit that you were wrong to not support them as ordered and that YOU are the only one responsible for the possibility that you will have a new home courtesy of the taxpayers?
    Thanks for your eye-opening information. I guess a lawyer, once I see him on monday, would have told me exactly what you have said. I'll tell my girls that there really is nothing that they can do at this point to help the current case. But for future help, it would be best that they get away from the mom as soon as possible. They are, in fact, in the process of doing that.
    -------
    In the meanwhile, you gave me an idea. One possibility is to approach every close friend or semi-close friend that I know and ask for a personal loan to help me stop from going to jail. I will start to do that immediately. I do have a few wealthy friends that , who knows, might be willing to help me stop from, as you put it, staying in some place owned by the taxpayers.
    -------
    And you are 100% right. I am guilty for not paying my ex-wife my portion of the college expenses. The subjective analysis/reasoning that this came to be is basically a mute point within the realm of "debtor's court" and "debtor's prison". This is both a legal matter and business matter at this point.
    --------
    Any additional insight and advice is welcome.
    Thanks

    Comment


    • #32
      Final Posting until the court thing is over

      Originally posted by mommyof4 View Post
      And it is NOT just a money thing. It is your legal responsibility to support your children per the court order. You didn't do that and did nothing to contest the order.

      Your children and your ex's friends are not going to do you any good. You want to know how the judge is going to react when you drag your kids (that you refused to support) into court to testify against the person that DID support them for you? You are going to get your butt handed to you on a plate served up with a nice baked potato and A1 steak sauce. That's IF the judge even lets anyone in the courtroom other than legal counsel, yourself, and your ex.

      Quit wallowing in self pity over a situation solely of your making.

      Beg or borrow the money from somewhere. You can try to work out a payment schedule (but it won't be a schedule for $25/month), but at this point, it very well may be too late.

      Reattach your 'set' and deal with this like an adult instead of like a whimpering little kid.

      If her children are so disrespectful and unappreciative of everything their mother has done to support them when their father wouldn't step up, that's says something about the girls (and that something isn't good). How would you feel if your daugther had a child and the father of that child refused to pay support? Would you think that was just fine and dandy that your daughter was left to solely support the child? If so, then you are not as much of a wonderful father as you think you are.

      How about YOU be honest with everyone and admit that you were wrong to not support them as ordered and that YOU are the only one responsible for the possibility that you will have a new home courtesy of the taxpayers?
      Also .. I should say this to you in defense of myself.
      I honestly admit that I am guilty of not helping pay college expenses. But there is more to this story. And I think that a lot of men are thrown into jail in New Jersey because of the fact that the "other" part of the story is never told and if it were told would not mean anything to those that maintain this big-time business infrastructure called "debtor's court and debtor's prison". Lots of men are used by their ex-wives as a second source of income. It is not money that goes to the children of those families but is money that the ex uses for herself. Both of my girls tell me that. They ask me why can't the support payments go directly to them because their mother pockets the money for her own personal vacations and use. Sure, some of the money has to trinkle down to them here and there. But most of the support payments are just plain alimony.
      -----
      I am not saying that all women are like my ex-wife but I am saying that .. of those who are .. they get away with it because of this business set up in the legal system that I call "debtor's court and debtor's prison".
      -----
      My ex did not tell me about enrolling the youngest girl in a over-priced Universty. Yet , in New Jersey , the "debtor's court" has so far allowed her to get away with it. The divorce decree says I must pay 50+ % of the college fees. This means that she can put the child in any college she pleases ? Sounds strange to me. And then , after the bills accumulate that neither of us can afford to pay, she just puts them all on her credit card and sends her "debtor's court lawyer" to sue me and drag me into "debtor's court" , claiming to be the innocent ex-wife, doing all she can for her children.
      -----
      Lets take a brief look into history. Why do the children wish to support their dead-beat father? He is obviously guilty in any legal sense.
      -----
      Perhaps it has to do with the fact that their dead-beat father, over the past 16 years, saw them every weekend and told them to always love their mother, whose bedroom door was a revolving door with over 100 or so men.
      Perhaps it has to do with the fact that the mother told the girls that the man she is with is much more important than they are and if they disturb the man she is with there will be big trouble for them.
      Perhaps it is because DYFUS has been to my ex's house because of emotional abuse towards one of the girls.
      Perhaps it is because, this ex that you defend, had her own mother commited, and stole the money that her own mother had put aside for the two girls education and used it for her own vacations, buying a house in Canada.
      Perhaps it is because, this ex that you defend, has spend 30K trying to become pregnant with her new husband that is 20 years younger than she is, a former student of hers.
      Perhaps it is because, this ex that you defend for doing her so-called duty for her children, spent a large part of her life going into rages, screeming constantly, so much that she developed nodules on her vocal cords. She was screeming at her two girls.
      Perhaps it is because these two girls grew up hearing their neighbors and friends label their mother as the "hoochi" mama . WOnder what that means?
      -------
      Yes ..
      I am as guilty as hell. But the real thing .. that I am guilty of is ignorance and stupidity for not fighting for custidy of my two girls when I got divorced and allowing them to stay with this ex that you so whole - heartedly defend in the name of the "debtor's court and prison". I am guilty of allowing such a woman to manipulate me into this situation. I am guilty of being extremely silly and naive for not knowing that my ex was weaving a plan that would eventually send me to jail.
      -------
      You are right .. I will go to jail , probably. But I hope that my going to jail will in some way cause the legal system in New Jersey to eventually take a closer look at the out-of-control system they have set up here. I will try to create a few news articles in my local area about this. There is something dreadfully wrong with the way the New Jersey Legal System involving Family/Support issues is set up. It is almost like an out of control unit of the government that does as it pleases.
      -------
      I am taking your advice on begging all the people I know to loan me money so that I do not end up in "debtor's prison". Who knows .. might work ..
      -------
      This is probably my last posting. After this weekend will be too busy trying to defend myself from going to jail and trying to borrow money from everyone I know. In the meanwhile, the ex will be concentrating on having her firtility-induced pregnancy with her young husband. As a side note, I asked my girls how did she convince him to remain with her and have a baby. They simply said: She threatened him with (1)suicide and (2)reporting his relatives(mexican) who are here illegally to the authorities.
      -----
      So .. I guess this great woman you defend and glorify will , indeed , win this case unless I can find some money somewhere.
      ------
      By the way, could you loan me 10K ? That will help towards my problem.
      My name is (took it out) ..
      I have a website also ..
      it is at .. http://www.cannottellyouanymore.com .. Has the fruits of my hobby at one time.
      -------
      If I do not go to jail .. I will make another posting to this site telling you all how it eventually turned out.
      THANKS FOR ALL THE INFO AND HELP THAT EVERYONE IN HERE GAVE ME ..

      MeAndOnlyMe
      Last edited by sidhartha11; 05-07-2008, 03:52 PM. Reason: TOOK MY NAME OUT ... to risky to leave it there

      Comment


      • #33
        Well .. finally got a lawyer. Situation is not as bad as I thought. It appears that my ex may very well have to pay me some money. Also, the fees that she claimed I owed her are not less than half that amount and may shrink more. At least according to my lawyer. It is good that I kept every thing extra that I bought for the girls, school books, and other items on my credit cards. Also the fact that I paid 10K is being deleted from my ex-wife's outlandish claims. The lawyer is also investigating how she managed to pay 30K in firtility clinic ..
        AND .......
        DrumRole .... ddddddddddddddddd
        The Lawyer is involving our two girls as character witness for the father ....
        DrumRole .... ddddddddddddddddd
        -----
        This lawyer I am using has both a law degree, MBA in finance and is a FEMALE that is probably one of the most
        competive persons I have ever met in my life. In addition,
        was in varsity sports.
        ------
        I had NO money to pay her HIGH fee and retention cost. My friends paid it for me!!!!!!

        Comment


        • #34
          Congratulations! I am now convinced you are a troll.

          The "extras" you bought on your credit cards don't offset your part of the agreement. Only those items which were part of the JOD that you can prove you paid will be taken off the amount you owe. If you had contested the previous motion, they wouldn't have been on there in the first place.

          The 30K your ex paid in "firtility clinic" has nothing to do with anything. You still have a percentage of the documented expenses to pay.

          You have a very bad lawyer indeed who would involve your children in a matter which really has nothing to do with any testimony they could give. Facts are facts, numbers don't lie, and emotional pleas don't change that. What a rotten thing to do to your daughters...making them take sides in what should just be a parenting obligation. You make me sick. You are a pathetic excuse for a father.
          Originally posted by sidhartha11 (what's truth and what's a lie?) View Post
          I honestly admit that I am guilty of not helping pay college expenses.
          Then why are you now trying to explain those expenses away and trying to get out of paying them? Scumbag...
          Originally posted by sidhartha11 (3 days ago) View Post
          This is probably my last posting.
          Pathetic liar. I don't believe anything you say...troll...crawl back into the hole you came from.

          Oh, and your "art" is junk, too...no wonder you're such a failure.

          Comment


          • #35
            Originally posted by boobatuba View Post
            Congratulations! I am now convinced you are a troll.

            The "extras" you bought on your credit cards don't offset your part of the agreement. Only those items which were part of the JOD that you can prove you paid will be taken off the amount you owe. If you had contested the previous motion, they wouldn't have been on there in the first place.

            The 30K your ex paid in "firtility clinic" has nothing to do with anything. You still have a percentage of the documented expenses to pay.

            You have a very bad lawyer indeed who would involve your children in a matter which really has nothing to do with any testimony they could give. Facts are facts, numbers don't lie, and emotional pleas don't change that. What a rotten thing to do to your daughters...making them take sides in what should just be a parenting obligation. You make me sick. You are a pathetic excuse for a father.

            Then why are you now trying to explain those expenses away and trying to get out of paying them? Scumbag...

            Pathetic liar. I don't believe anything you say...troll...crawl back into the hole you came from.

            Oh, and your "art" is junk, too...no wonder you're such a failure.
            Why do you say such things? You have reason to be angry about something ?
            I thought this was a serious forum about various aspects of family law. Your angry words are not warrented in here.
            Perhaps you should visit a different type of forum.
            However, I apologize completely if I said something in an earlier posting that upset you.
            ------
            I am going thru a lot of stuff these days with this judgement and more than likely upcoming court case, so sometimes I did say some very depressing things. But you
            honestly believe, I wasn't trying to upset you in anyway.
            -------
            Hope you feel better soon.

            Comment


            • #36
              Originally posted by sidhartha11 View Post
              Thanks for your eye-opening information. I guess a lawyer, once I see him on monday, would have told me exactly what you have said. I'll tell my girls that there really is nothing that they can do at this point to help the current case. But for future help, it would be best that they get away from the mom as soon as possible. They are, in fact, in the process of doing that.
              -------
              In the meanwhile, you gave me an idea. One possibility is to approach every close friend or semi-close friend that I know and ask for a personal loan to help me stop from going to jail. I will start to do that immediately. I do have a few wealthy friends that , who knows, might be willing to help me stop from, as you put it, staying in some place owned by the taxpayers.
              -------
              And you are 100% right. I am guilty for not paying my ex-wife my portion of the college expenses. The subjective analysis/reasoning that this came to be is basically a mute point within the realm of "debtor's court" and "debtor's prison". This is both a legal matter and business matter at this point.
              --------
              Any additional insight and advice is welcome.
              Thanks
              I spoke to my lawyer today. It was very amazing. I do not
              think that I have ever witnessed such an intelligent woman
              in action before.
              I know it is very early, just the first meeting with the lawyer, but I have a tiny little feeling that this case is
              going to blow up in my ex-wife's face. The lawyer immediately discovered "misrepresentation" on the order,
              called my ex's lawyer and demanded he send her additional
              documentation. My lawyer has an MBA in finance. She went
              thru the court order, reading it with one hand, using a calculater with the other, completing detailing every aspect
              of the finance and discovering something "fishy". There is a possibility that I might not have to
              pay my ex 1 single cent. In fact , the whole order might be thrown out all together. I wonder why she,
              my ex, included the amount that I paid in the amount that she was demanding .. DUMB DUMB ... SUPER DUMB
              I guess my ex thought that I would be my usual, lazy .. laid back .. silly and asleep self and not get a good
              lawyer ... and just let her do as she pleases , even throwing me in jail. MISTAKE on her part.
              -------
              Should be interesting ... If only I could be a little fly on the wall when my ex-wife's lawyer calls her. But I am sure
              you oldest girl that still lives at home will give me full
              details of the reaction.
              -------
              Thought you would like to know ..
              -------
              ONE BIG PIECE OF ADVICE TO ANYONE GOING THRU THESE THINGS:
              Always consult with a professional acquaintance for the location of a good lawyer. Never just use
              the yellow pages or internet.
              Last edited by sidhartha11; 05-08-2008, 02:00 PM.

              Comment


              • #37
                Update

                Well ... I am not in jail as of yet. I am curious , in particular about mommyof4, as to what she thinks about the letter my youngest daughter sent to my laywer. I know that mommyof4 thinks that the man is always wrong. But I would like to hear your comments regarding the email my youngest ask me to send my lawyer ... which I did just send.

                My name is xxxxxxxxxxxxxx and I am an upcoming
                second semester junior at xxxxxxxxxxxx University
                located in xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx. I'm sure you are familiar
                with my father xxxxxxxxxxxxxx, as he is a client of
                yours. I am writing you this letter to describe the
                financial conundrum that plagues me during the midst of
                this on-going legal battle between my parents. While the
                two of them partake in this heated debate, both my sister
                and I tread onward with hardly any financial support from
                both parties. Yes, I am well aware that my father has been
                ordered to pay more child support, but this notion fails
                to instigate any sense of relief whatsoever. Although a
                larger sum of child support is granted to me and my
                sister, I seldom feel a difference at all. I agreed to my
                mother's case against my father mainly because she claimed
                that the money we would receive would go towards my
                college and/or other related expenses. Yet, my mother
                still refuses to give me any money whatsoever and also has
                blatantly refused to continue financing my education. Her
                response is always the same; when I ask for 20 dollars to
                use on a necessary item for school, for example, her
                response never fails to be, " The money your father gives
                me I use to pay for the house you live in." Now that my
                father pays my mother more money, he refuses to give me
                any spending money whatsoever as well. It would be hard to
                believe that my mother is an economically stable bilingual
                teacher, landlord of 3 homes, a receiver of child support
                funds as well as pension/social security funds (from her
                mother and deceased father, as my mother holds power of
                attorney over my Alzheimer-afflicted grandmother) if you
                were to observe they way my sister and I live. My mother
                has not bought a single clothing item for me since I was
                fifteen years old, she leaves the refrigerator empty and
                without food, Cannot afford to pay for my 4 current
                cavities, and has ceased to pay for even the telephone
                bill. My aunt, George's sister, pays for my cell phone
                bill ironically.On the other hand, my mother frequently
                goes on vacation to Montreal, spends money on unnecessary
                futile things, and continues to refuse to give me and my
                sister any type of financial support. I wrongly believed
                that these bizarre events would cease to occur after the
                increase in child support; I was blatantly wrong. Matters
                will only get worse now that my mother is, oddly enough,
                expecting a child at the age of 52. I just simply do not
                think it is fair that my sister and I continue living
                penniless, without enough money to finance our education,
                and are forced to buy our own food,books,and clothing with
                the little money we do have; all this is secretly
                occurring in the background while my mother makes my
                father be seen, in the eyes of the law, as a deadbeat. It
                is quite the contrary, as my mother has been probably the
                most emotionally abusive part of my life. Nevertheless,
                this one disquieting thought has been seizing my mind
                lately- is the monthly check that arrives child support,
                or is it parent support?

                For any further information please feel free to contact my
                cell at xxxxxxxxxxxx or email me at
                xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

                Thank you for your time,
                xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

                Comment


                • #38
                  Originally posted by sidhartha11's youngest daughter View Post
                  I just simply do not
                  think it is fair that my sister and I continue living
                  penniless, without enough money to finance our education,
                  and are forced to buy our own food,books,and clothing with
                  the little money we do have
                  Originally posted by sidhartha11's youngest daughter, in the same letter View Post
                  For any further information please feel free to contact my
                  cell at xxxxxxxxxxxx or email me at
                  xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
                  Wow...penniless, but still with a cell phone and computer with internet access.

                  This letter is ridiculous. Leave your daughters out of this.

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    Originally posted by boobatuba View Post
                    Wow...penniless, but still with a cell phone and computer with internet access.

                    This letter is ridiculous. Leave your daughters out of this.
                    And, of course, none of it states why DAD didn't step up and pay for them.

                    I am not sure that a letter stating how the children live in poverty will help the case of the dead beat dad......
                    Not everything that makes you mad, sad or uncomfortable is legally actionable.

                    I am not now nor ever was an attorney.

                    Any statements I make are based purely upon my personal experiences and research which may or may not be accurate in a court of law.

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      Isn't this the same youngest child who spent her first two college years at an expensive private school, which your ex financed on credit cards, and caused you to be deeply in arrears? "Poverty" sounds a little overly dramatic. The letter doesn't help your case at all.

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        I think that the letter is going to hurt more than help.

                        Personally, children, of any age, should NOT be involved in thier parents' legal situations. My hubby's ex had her 3 MINOR children write letters to a Judge, full of lies. So, I do have some experience in this arena, no matter what the child's age, it is a really stupid thing to have, or allow a child to write to an attorney, or a Judge.

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          And I just have to add (as I was personally addressed by a person who just refuses to pay child support AND who made blatantly inaccurate statements about me) that I don't always think men are wrong. I ALWAYS think dead beats who try to use their children to garner sympathy or a 'victory' in court are pathetic.

                          Yep OP, I would be talking SPECIFICALLY about you.

                          Your daughter's letter to the judge is a HUGE mistake on your part and you will be lucky if the judge doesn't suffer an apocalyptic fit when he reads it...that is IF he even sees it.
                          Last edited by mommyof4; 06-22-2008, 07:58 PM.
                          HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
                          How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
                          (unique up on him)
                          How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
                          (same way)

                          Comment


                          • #43
                            Originally posted by mommyof4 View Post
                            And I just have to add (as I was personally addressed by a person who just refuses to pay child support AND who made blatantly inaccurate statements about me) that I don't always think men are wrong. I ALWAYS think dead beats who try to use their children to garner sympathy or a 'victory' in court are pathetic.

                            Yep OP, I would be talking SPECIFICALLY about you.

                            Your daughter's letter to the judge is a HUGE mistake on your part and you will be lucky if the judge doesn't suffer an apocalyptic fit when he reads it...that is IF he even sees it.
                            I think Boobatuba is right. I smell a troll with an active imagination. I have never recieved support, and have no simpathy with those that flaunt stiffing the CP. Also, your "daughter" seems to have the same writing style as you do.

                            Any parent that willing lets their child live with an unfit parent,

                            Perhaps it has to do with the fact that their dead-beat father, over the past 16 years, saw them every weekend and told them to always love their mother, whose bedroom door was a revolving door with over 100 or so men.
                            Perhaps it has to do with the fact that the mother told the girls that the man she is with is much more important than they are and if they disturb the man she is with there will be big trouble for them.
                            Perhaps it is because DYFUS has been to my ex's house because of emotional abuse towards one of the girls.
                            Perhaps it is because, this ex that you defend, had her own mother commited, and stole the money that her own mother had put aside for the two girls education and used it for her own vacations, buying a house in Canada.
                            Also, you seem to be unaware of the law.

                            http://www.njlawblog.com/2007/01/art...d-emancipated/

                            My youngest, 19, is actively trying to become emacipated. I am helping her find a place near her college to live.

                            Comment


                            • #44
                              Let me get this straight...

                              The person who allegedly wrote this letter is a college junior. So, assuming she is not a young savant, she is also a legal adult.

                              So.... an adult is writing a letter saying "I'm poor and it's unfair my parents don't give me money."

                              I'm thinking, the judge will be more irritated with this grown woman complaining that she isn't getting a free ride from mommy and daddy more than anything else she might say.

                              My Dad actually made his money when I was approximately 19 years old. Not one red cent of it was ever owed to me.

                              She's an adult. If she cannot afford things, she needs to get a job. It's not her mother's job to support her, and the CS does belong to her mother.
                              Last edited by MomofBoys; 06-23-2008, 08:49 AM.

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X