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arrearage in MD Maryland

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  • arrearage in MD Maryland

    My husband currently has an arrearge balance on the books for his daughter who now is 18 and will be graduating high school in 6 weeks. She is engaged and a baby is on the way. She no longer lives at home but with us. She is going to live with us until she can properly get on her feet and get a college education. Can anyone tell me if my husband can contest the arrearage? Sadly the arrearage is about 5000 dollars which totals 1 1/2 years of support. This arrearage has been there since the beginning any hasnt really gone away because we rarely receive a tax refund and at one point in time my husband lost his job and was unable to collect unemployment. It doesnt make sense to continue to pay the mother when the daughter is living with us and we will be supporting her the baby and possibly the fiance. Also the responses are they from persons who are involved with the law? I wasnt sure by reading some of them. Thanks any info would be great

  • #2
    The arrearage is money owed to the mother to repay your husband's portion of support that she picked up when your husband could not or would not pay.

    If she never recieved public assistance, she can forgive the arrearage, but there is no statute or law to force her to do so.
    HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
    How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
    (unique up on him)
    How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
    (same way)

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    • #3
      The chances of her forgiving the arrearage are slim to none. She never received any type of public assistance. However, my stepdaughter did work full time 40 hours a week making her own money and pretty much bought herself what she needed for almost 2 years. Im wondering if my husband can contest the arrearage? I realize it s owed but now we are taking care of her and will be taking care of the baby as well and the 450 a month could sure go to help the baby instead.

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      • #4
        Mommyof4 gave you the correct answer, even though I'm sure it's not the answer you wanted. To clarify again: the money your husband owes his ex (arrears) is to reimburse the ex for his portion of the expenses she had when your husband couldn't or wouldn't pay. If you remember this fact of how support works, then it does make sense to pay the mother, even though his daughter is living with you now.

        Theoretically, yes...he could contest the arrears in court...you can take anything to court. I'm curious what his motion would be based on. I would not go to the court and tell them the daughter worked and provided for herself and therefore the ex didn't need the support for two years...you may as well be more direct and just say the state's formula for calculating support is flawed...the court will not want to hear that. I doubt the lost job/lack of unemployment benefits argument holds water, either...the court will undoubtedly say you should have filed for an adjustment at the time.

        No, this is just like any other bill that you are behind on and need to make arrangements to get paid up. I'm sorry that's not the answer you were hoping for, but it is the correct one.

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        • #5
          i really didnt know what the answer would be. And it wasnt that he wouldnt we couldnt. getting child support payments corrected or adjusted is like having a second job and getting your teeth pulled. What I mean by the fact that she had a job is the mom made the child pay for everything out of her work money that she earned. so my wonder is what happened to the money my husband was sending all this time. My step daughter worked 40 hours a week which technically isnt allowed. There were times when she said she needed something and would say well my paycheck is gone because I had to pay for such and such. My husband would say well what about your child support money and my stepdaughter would say Mommy doesnt let me have it. If the girl is buying her own clothes food and her personal things what is mom doing with the money. I have to wonder. Mom would never want to ever discuss this with my husband. My husband and I live on a very strict budget we have to. But when I see my stepdaughters mom taking cruises and having enough gold on her hand to open a jewelry store it gets under my skin. Im a re married mother and I have one of my own and for 18 years my ex made sure he was wel far from me and going after him when he lived outside of the US was practically impossible so I did it on my own. I agree dads should fulfill their obligation no question about that but when moms abuse the money i have issues.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by cassamia View Post
            i really didnt know what the answer would be. And it wasnt that he wouldnt we couldnt. getting child support payments corrected or adjusted is like having a second job and getting your teeth pulled. What I mean by the fact that she had a job is the mom made the child pay for everything out of her work money that she earned. so my wonder is what happened to the money my husband was sending all this time. My step daughter worked 40 hours a week which technically isnt allowed. There were times when she said she needed something and would say well my paycheck is gone because I had to pay for such and such. My husband would say well what about your child support money and my stepdaughter would say Mommy doesnt let me have it. If the girl is buying her own clothes food and her personal things what is mom doing with the money. I have to wonder. Mom would never want to ever discuss this with my husband. My husband and I live on a very strict budget we have to. But when I see my stepdaughters mom taking cruises and having enough gold on her hand to open a jewelry store it gets under my skin. Im a re married mother and I have one of my own and for 18 years my ex made sure he was wel far from me and going after him when he lived outside of the US was practically impossible so I did it on my own. I agree dads should fulfill their obligation no question about that but when moms abuse the money i have issues.
            I truly do understand your frustration, it doesn't seeem fair. However, the law isn't always fair and the law says that as long as the child has the basics, it doesn't matter how the CP spends the CS. And, when arrears are owed, nothing at all matters except that they are owed and must be paid, even if the CP had plenty of money, or even took all of the child's earnings.
            Paying CS arrears is just a fact of life that should be viewed like paying taxes, or buying gasoline- a necessary evil of life, we HATE to pay it, but we do because we have to.

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            • #7
              I also feel the need to make you, your husband, and your SD understand that the CS money is NEVER, EVER owed to the child in a situation such as you have described. It is the CP's money to do with as she wishes, as long as basic needs of the child are met.

              Your SD having a job isn't sufficient reason to have arrearages abated. She was still living at home, so she wasn't paying for rent, utilities, etc. Her mother provided those things. The CS arrearage is still owed to the mother to pay her back for the portion your husband was ordered to pay at that time.

              Frankly, your SD shouldn't know anything about the CS. It's not her money and even though she is the child for which the CS was ordered to help support, it's none of her business.
              HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
              How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
              (unique up on him)
              How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
              (same way)

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by mommyof4 View Post
                Frankly, your SD shouldn't know anything about the CS. It's not her money and even though she is the child for which the CS was ordered to help support, it's none of her business.
                I agree, my son didn't even know until he was in his late 20's that his father was always behind in CS.

                My hubby's ex was always telling the kids that thier father NEVER paid CS. Once they became adults, they got the shock of thier lives when an official payment record was sent to them and they discovered that thier father HAD paid CS, to the tune of $68,000.00 over a 10 year period.

                Personally, I will never understand why any parent would discuss CS and CS issues with thier kids. I look at it this way- how many parents show thier children thier tax bills, thier medical bills, thier insurance bills, etc? It just doesn't make sense to talk to kids about things like that. Kids have to grow up so fast, they should be allowed to be kids without adult worries as long as possible.

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                • #9
                  I agree with you about the child not knowing about child support... but, I will say that a situation in our household became an exception to that a while back... (a few years ago when child support payments were always regular) I found myself in the odd situation of defending my ex (yuck).

                  My son made some comment about his Dad not seeing him OR providing anything for him (dont remember the words), and I explained to him that his Dad DID send money to me (through the court) to help pay for things like his shoes, clothes, etc. so my son would understand that he was contributing to the things he needed, even though he didn't SEE where it was coming from. Back then, my support payments were always regular & I even though Dad didn't visit anywhere near like he should, he always paid his support. I wanted my son to know he did do that much.

                  God Bless!
                  Amy

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