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Chid Visitation North Carolina

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  • Chid Visitation North Carolina

    My questions and concerns involve my five month old daughter. When she was just seven weeks old I had a conversation about chid support with her father, he wasn't very happy. About a week and a half later I recieved a letter from his attorney stating he wanted to excercise his visitation rights. At this point he was allowed in my home any time he wanted, he even had a key. I would not sign the papers for his visitation of every other weekend and every other holiday. After having a child what mother can discuss this in such a short amount of time afterwards, and now we're going to court. I guess my questions are at what age will the court usually grant him these visitations? Right now he's at the point of seeing her about twice a week for three hours at a time. Then another issue I have with signing the papers is the Christmas issue. It states that he will get her on the day school lets out for vacation until 2pm Christmas day. Then switch until January 2nd. I just don't agree going a full week before Christmas without seeing my child. I wouldn't ask him to do that and I can't believe he is asking me to. Will a judge look at these issues or try to come to a common ground with splitting the time differently. Last, my daughter has my last name, he has mentioned wanting her to have his last name, what happens is that case? I know this is a lot but I have stressed about this so much and I just need some answers.
    thanks

  • #2
    Originally posted by mommyhelp4her View Post
    My questions and concerns involve my five month old daughter. When she was just seven weeks old I had a conversation about chid support with her father, he wasn't very happy. About a week and a half later I recieved a letter from his attorney stating he wanted to excercise his visitation rights. At this point he was allowed in my home any time he wanted, he even had a key. I would not sign the papers for his visitation of every other weekend and every other holiday. After having a child what mother can discuss this in such a short amount of time afterwards, and now we're going to court. I guess my questions are at what age will the court usually grant him these visitations? Right now he's at the point of seeing her about twice a week for three hours at a time. Then another issue I have with signing the papers is the Christmas issue. It states that he will get her on the day school lets out for vacation until 2pm Christmas day. Then switch until January 2nd. I just don't agree going a full week before Christmas without seeing my child. I wouldn't ask him to do that and I can't believe he is asking me to. Will a judge look at these issues or try to come to a common ground with splitting the time differently. Last, my daughter has my last name, he has mentioned wanting her to have his last name, what happens is that case? I know this is a lot but I have stressed about this so much and I just need some answers.
    thanks
    At what age will the court order the visitation he's requesting? As soon as it goes to court. What he is requesting is very common so I can safely assume that the Judge will grant the father's requests. You will need to prepare yourself now for having to share holiday time with your child's father. All children, no matter thier age, deserve to have the opportunity to celebrate holidays with both parents, even though the parents don't live together.

    Have you filed for CS yet? You really should, your child deserves to be supported by both parents.

    If he has filed for a name change, it's likely that it would be granted. Alot of Judges have been doing a compromise of a hyphenated version of both parents' names, such as Smith-Jones.

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    • #3
      As my custody proceeding was in NC, I can guarantee you that visitation will start almost immediately. There may be a few supervised visits to begin with (but very doubtful as he has been around the baby).

      You need to file for child support.

      In my original order (it's a long story) my daughter's father and I came to a compromise where we spit the Christmas holiday every year and rotating the split each year. That way, one of us had her for Christmas Eve and the other had her Christmas day. We just rotated who had which day each year.

      He has as much right to be as big a part of her life as you do. You are BOTH her parents. Save yourself some time, money, and anguish and just drop the 'battle' and get it over with. You will NOT win what you want in court. (unless there is something absolutely mind blowing you are not telling us, in which case, I will have to question your judgement in allowing him to be in your home with the baby.)

      As far as the name, hyphenate it. It's not an issue big enough to get hung up on. Really. Learn to compromise now. You will be doing alot of that over the next number of years.

      I am not being mean or harsh. I am just trying to make you see that this will be much easier in the long run for you. I promise.
      Last edited by mommyof4; 10-25-2007, 11:01 AM.
      HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
      How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
      (unique up on him)
      How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
      (same way)

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      • #4
        Most of the time holidays alternate each year you guys would take turns. on mothers day you would have her and vice verca. As far as visitation he is exercising that right so he will most likely get it right after you go to court. If you don't want him to have her for overnight visits or a long period of time you should have thought about that before you got pregnant. Sorry at least he is trying to be a father. Most men would say forget you.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by mommyhelp4her View Post
          My questions and concerns involve my five month old daughter. When she was just seven weeks old I had a conversation about chid support with her father, he wasn't very happy. About a week and a half later I recieved a letter from his attorney stating he wanted to excercise his visitation rights. At this point he was allowed in my home any time he wanted, he even had a key. I would not sign the papers for his visitation of every other weekend and every other holiday. After having a child what mother can discuss this in such a short amount of time afterwards, and now we're going to court. I guess my questions are at what age will the court usually grant him these visitations? Right now he's at the point of seeing her about twice a week for three hours at a time. Then another issue I have with signing the papers is the Christmas issue. It states that he will get her on the day school lets out for vacation until 2pm Christmas day. Then switch until January 2nd. I just don't agree going a full week before Christmas without seeing my child. I wouldn't ask him to do that and I can't believe he is asking me to. Will a judge look at these issues or try to come to a common ground with splitting the time differently. Last, my daughter has my last name, he has mentioned wanting her to have his last name, what happens is that case? I know this is a lot but I have stressed about this so much and I just need some answers.
          thanks
          I know how you feel, its hard to share something that you love so much. I think the best thing for you to do would be try and work out something with dad that you both can mostly agree on. Comprimise can save you alot of money in court. I put overnights with dad off for so long, afraid to not have my baby next to me, but I just left my 17 mo old with his dad for the first time, I missed him so much! Especially the first night, and it was so weird not having him with me, like always. After that first inital day, it was actually nice to have a break, sleep in, be lazy. Then when I got my baby back I loved and kissed on him. He was never happier to see me, and that is a great feeling!

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by mickeymouse5472 View Post
            I know how you feel, its hard to share something that you love so much. I think the best thing for you to do would be try and work out something with dad that you both can mostly agree on. Comprimise can save you alot of money in court. I put overnights with dad off for so long, afraid to not have my baby next to me, but I just left my 17 mo old with his dad for the first time, I missed him so much! Especially the first night, and it was so weird not having him with me, like always. After that first inital day, it was actually nice to have a break, sleep in, be lazy. Then when I got my baby back I loved and kissed on him. He was never happier to see me, and that is a great feeling!
            Wonderful and very helpful post. You sound like a good mom and your son will reap the rewards for a lifetime.

            Comment

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