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At a loss in California

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  • At a loss in California

    Hi all, It has been awhile since i posted anything on here. My husband and I had been dating for 4 years all through high school, after graduation I went off to college, we stayed together but somewhere in the middle he cheated and ended up getting another girl pregnant. She said she wanted an abortion so he ended up paying her 600 dollars so she could take care of it, after she got to the clinic she changed her mind, didnt give him the money back and proceeded to have the baby. I waited to see if they were planning on getting married or having a relationship and my then boyfriend decided he still wanted to be with me. After the baby was born we moved in together and shortly afterwards got married. During the entire pregnancy and after the birth my husband tried to be part of the baby's life and she wouldnt allow it. He was joining the military so we had to rush to try and get him visitation and custody before he left. Needless to say as most dad's in California do he got royally screwed over . The judge awarded sole physical and legal custody to the mother based on the fact that my husband was military and wouldnt be able to see him anyways and awarded my husband 2, 3 hour, supervised visits a week until he left for basic training and then his visitation rights stopped. Visitation was supervised by my husbands mother based on the fact that since his son didnt know who he was (whose fault is that!) he would be too scared to be alone with him. It was ridiculous. During these all too short visits my stepsons mother would show up at the house and yell at my husband, threaten to have ME thrown in jail because visitation doesnt mean I can be around her son, and snatch up my stepson and take him home early. She would also, tell my husband he couldnt take her son anywhere outside the house, wasnt allowed to be outside, couldnt be fed while he was with him... We tried to take her back to court for violating court orders but the soonest court date was after he was going to be in basic training. Its been over a year, my stepsons mother has been married to ANOTHER servicemember, my stepson is a dependent of the military now and we got a court order of child support. We knew we were supposed to be paying child support but the amount was ridiculous. The papers were filled with lies, it claimed my husband is single, with no dependents, made over 700 dollars more than he actually does with pay has no rent or bills to take care of it was ridiculous. We are now unable to pay any bills because after rent and child support we are down to 90 dollars a paycheck. I dont know what to do anymore. She had been calling asking for us to sign paperwork saying she was the only legal guardian of my stepson so she could take him to cuba to live with her husband and saying she wanted her new husband to adopt our stepson. My husband doesnt know how we are supposed to be making endsmeet by paying her all of our money while another man adopts his son and he never sees him. My stepson is 2 and a half my husband has seen him 8 times a total of 24 hours in his entire life, now she is having him adopted and we are still having to pay her. I dont understand how this works.

  • #2
    Gabby, next time you post, use paragraphs. It makes it easier to read.

    In any case, she can't tell the judge how much your husband makes. Your husband is responsible for providing proof of income. If you have to, work 2 jobs.

    No, don't sign any paperwork. Instead, your husband needs to file for a modification of custody, using this paper that she provided him, as proof that she is planning on taking his child out of the country.

    When she came over during his visitation time, he wasn't supposed to open the door.

    Your husband has made SO MANY mistakes, that I don't know if he can rectify this situation.
    Please no private messages about your situation.

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    • #3
      He didnt answer the door, she walked into his mothers house. We had to threaten to call the police to get her to leave a few times.

      She has called and left voice mails telling my husband that if I get another job she will take us back to court and have the child support raised. She isnt trying to support her son she has told my husband she just wants him miserable.

      We have tried to take the paperwork saying that she wants to remove my stepson from the country but she is a military wife and my husband is also military so she can legally leave. The problem is my husband is never allowed to see his son, when he tries she says no, that he is not her sons dad her new husband is and that my husband will never see his son again.

      She also doesnt work she lives off her husbands paycheck so according to california she has no income at all and my husband has to pay for all expenses of his son. At this point we are just wondering if we would be able to take her back to court for custody again based on the fact that she apparently cant support her son or herself without my husbands money. I doubt he would win but when she is blatantly saying he will never get to visit or see his son and that she will go out of her way to do everything possible to make him unhappy how is that legal?

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      • #4
        Originally posted by gabby04 View Post
        He didnt answer the door, she walked into his mothers house. We had to threaten to call the police to get her to leave a few times.

        She has called and left voice mails telling my husband that if I get another job she will take us back to court and have the child support raised. She isnt trying to support her son she has told my husband she just wants him miserable.

        We have tried to take the paperwork saying that she wants to remove my stepson from the country but she is a military wife and my husband is also military so she can legally leave. The problem is my husband is never allowed to see his son, when he tries she says no, that he is not her sons dad her new husband is and that my husband will never see his son again.

        She also doesnt work she lives off her husbands paycheck so according to california she has no income at all and my husband has to pay for all expenses of his son. At this point we are just wondering if we would be able to take her back to court for custody again based on the fact that she apparently cant support her son or herself without my husbands money. I doubt he would win but when she is blatantly saying he will never get to visit or see his son and that she will go out of her way to do everything possible to make him unhappy how is that legal?
        You can't walk into a home when the doors are locked. Her child support will not be raised based on your income. Your husband needs to file for contempt of court.

        He needs an attorney. He obviously hasn't been handling this correctly. There are SO many things wrong, that only a lawyer can attempt to get it corrected.
        Please no private messages about your situation.

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        • #5
          She CAN NOT take the child out of the country just because she is a military dependant. Your husband would have to sign for him to go. I know this because I had to do it to take my kids to Germany when my hubby was stationed over there.
          Amateurs built the Ark, Professionals built the Titanic

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          • #6
            Yes she just can't take the child and leave without dads permission. And if she does apply for the child to be adopted dad will not have to pay support only back support and anything owed up to the adoption. And the adoption is a long process and $$$ and just dosen't happen over night. Why do he take her back to court for violating the order. and as well keep track of everything on papre it always dosen't hold up in court but it never hurts.. Good luck,

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