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Physical custody for abandonment - New Hampshire

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  • #31
    Not yet, her lawyer sent the paperwork to him but he later put additional documents which she does want to agree to (obviously). Now she's planning to file by herself (her own paperwork) as an abandonment as the reason for divorce.

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    • #32
      http://www.gencourt.state.nh.us/rsa/.../461-a-mrg.htm

      I was going to cut and paste the actual statutes, but it is too long. I will post the most immediately relevant to this discussion and then leave you to go to the link to read the statutes in full. The statutes cover parenting plans (the preferred method of settling custody issues). Suffice it say that your girlfriend better figure out how to get along and accept that this child has a father and she has no right to impede that relationship. Good luck.


      Section 461-A:6

      461-A:6 Determination of Parental Rights and Responsibilities; Best Interest. –
      I. In determining parental rights and responsibilities, the court shall be guided by the best interests of the child, and shall consider the following factors:
      (a) The relationship of the child with each parent and the ability of each parent to provide the child with nurture, love, affection, and guidance.
      (b) The ability of each parent to assure that the child receives adequate food, clothing, shelter, medical care, and a safe environment.
      (c) The child's developmental needs and the ability of each parent to meet them, both in the present and in the future.
      (d) The quality of the child's adjustment to the child's school and community and the potential effect of any change.
      (e) The ability and disposition of each parent to foster a positive relationship and frequent and continuing physical, written, and telephonic contact with the other parent, except where contact will result in harm to the child or to a parent.
      (f) The support of each parent for the child's contact with the other parent as shown by allowing and promoting such contact.
      (g) The support of each parent for the child's relationship with the other parent.
      (h) The relationship of the child with any other person who may significantly affect the child.
      (i) The ability of the parents to communicate, cooperate with each other, and make joint decisions concerning the children.
      (j) Any evidence of abuse, as defined in RSA 173-B:1, I or RSA 169-C:3, II, and the impact of the abuse on the child and on the relationship between the child and the abusing parent.
      (k) If a parent is incarcerated, the reason for and the length of the incarceration, and any unique issues that arise as a result of incarceration.
      (l) Any other additional factors the court deems relevant.
      II. If the court finds by clear and convincing evidence that a minor child is of sufficient maturity to make a sound judgment, the court may give substantial weight to the preference of the mature minor child as to the determination of parental rights and responsibilities. Under these circumstances, the court shall also give due consideration to other factors which may have affected the minor child's preference, including whether the minor child's preference was based on undesirable or improper influences.
      III. In determining parental rights and responsibilities under this section, including residential responsibility, the court shall not apply a preference for one parent over the other because of the sex of the child, the sex of a parent, or the financial resources of a parent.
      Last edited by mommyof4; 02-12-2007, 07:26 AM.
      HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
      How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
      (unique up on him)
      How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
      (same way)

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      • #33
        I will forward the information to her.

        Thank you so much for the help. At first it was hard to grasp...yet I'm starting to understand the way this all works.

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        • #34
          I would HIGHLY reccommend that she not file for divorce without an attorney, ESPECIALLY when child custody is an issue. If she goes pro se, and he has a lawyer, his lawyer will eat her alive at the first mention of her not wanting him to have custody or visitation. "I don't want that" is not a valid argument to present to the judge. Going it alone can really only work when it is amicable divorce with no children and no real disagreement as to property disbursement.

          In New Hampshire, she can only file for divorce on the grounds of abandonment if he has been gone for two years. Her only chance really is a no-fault divorce on the grounds of irreconcilable differences.

          On the other hand, HE can file on the grounds of adultery (her relationship with YOU). You really should take a huge step back, then turn and run.

          What are the grounds for divorce in New Hampshire?

          I. Impotency of either party.

          II. Adultery of either party.

          III. Extreme cruelty of either party to the other.

          IV. Conviction of either party, in any state or federal district, of a crime
          punishable with imprisonment for more than one year and actual imprisonment under such conviction.

          V. When either party has so treated the other as seriously to injure health or endanger reason.

          VI. When either party has been absent 2 years together, and has not been heard of.

          VII. When either party is an habitual drunkard, and has been such for 2 years together.

          VIII. When either party has joined any religious sect or society which professes to believe the relation of husband and wife unlawful, and has refused to cohabit with the other for 6 months together.

          IX. When either party, without sufficient cause, and without the consent of the other, has abandoned and refused, for 2 years together, to cohabit with the other.

          X. A divorce from the bonds of matrimony shall be decreed, irrespective of the fault of either party, on the ground of irreconcilable differences which have caused the irremediable


          http://www.divorcenet.com/states/new_hampshire
          Last edited by MomofBoys; 02-12-2007, 07:35 AM.

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          • #35
            Okay, so pretty much everything she "just knows" is wrong.

            I know you say that she is special, but is this much turmoil in a relatively new relationship really worth it? Keep in mind that you have no dog in this fight.

            Be careful.
            HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
            How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
            (unique up on him)
            How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
            (same way)

            Comment


            • #36
              What is the worst that can happen...say they proved the adultery (which she was looking for against him also but can't prove)...would she end up losing the child?

              Yes I'm scared but just hoping she realizes what she's doing is wrong.

              Comment


              • #37
                http://www.gencourt.state.nh.us/rsa/html/LXII/645/645-3.htm



                TITLE LXII
                CRIMINAL CODE

                CHAPTER 645
                PUBLIC INDECENCY

                Section 645:3

                645:3 Adultery. A person is guilty of a class B misdemeanor if, being a married person, he engages in sexual intercourse with another not his spouse or, being unmarried, engages in sexual intercourse with another known by him to be married.
                Source. 1971, 518:1. 1992, 269:19, eff. July 1, 1992.

                (criminal consequences)

                And yes, adultery can affect the custody situation.
                HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
                How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
                (unique up on him)
                How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
                (same way)

                Comment


                • #38
                  Originally posted by mommyof4 View Post

                  And yes, adultery can affect the custody situation.
                  Have you considered that she doesn't want you to meet her ex because you could be forced to testify AGAINST her in the adultery piece of the puzzle?

                  In other words, you are all the proof her ex needs.... and you already moving in and "wanting to be a family" gives him MORE ammunition, not less...
                  Not everything that makes you mad, sad or uncomfortable is legally actionable.

                  I am not now nor ever was an attorney.

                  Any statements I make are based purely upon my personal experiences and research which may or may not be accurate in a court of law.

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    Originally posted by tsrxis View Post
                    What is the worst that can happen...say they proved the adultery (which she was looking for against him also but can't prove)...would she end up losing the child?

                    Yes I'm scared but just hoping she realizes what she's doing is wrong.
                    Between committing adultery and trying to interfere with the father's parental rights, she is already well on her way to losing custody, ESPECIALLY if she tries this route without an attorney.

                    If she cannot prove that HE committed adultery, she should not even go that route. If you really love her and care for her the way you say you do, you will remove yourself from the entire situation until her divorce is final. Your presence makes her situation ten times worse. If he were to hire a PI to follow her, or even just hear from others who know her, he has all the amunition he needs to get a divorce based on adultery AND to gain custody of his child.

                    What she's doing is wrong -- and I'm sorry to tell you, but that INCLUDES being in a relationship with you. But you are making it much worse by being with her. Let her go.

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      I talked to her & she's talking to her lawyer now. I'm not in the same state currently and hopefully this will be taken care of before I move. She's aware now how serious it is.

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        I hope you are not planning for moving for another year or two (or longer). Because messy divorces take that long (at least) to settle. My brother is going on 18 months with no forward movement in his divorce, and the main issue of contention is child custody.

                        If she continues to interfere with his parental rights, this could go on for a long time. The ONLY way that this will resolve quickly is if and when she accepts the fact that he will be a part of their child's life. If they can get along in that respect, the divorce will go through. If she wants to reduce contact because she is nursing or try to file for abandonment, she is only creating what will be a long and messy haul.

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                        • #42
                          Yes, she does realize that now & is willing to work this out but through a lawyer. I'm glad she did understand what I had to say. Thanks again

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                          • #43
                            I completely forgot I posted this...after much long paperwork, the divorce was annulled by the court and just recently my g/f got full physical and legal custody with him signing his rights away. He basically did not want to pay a penny for child support. He's completely out of the picture. She may not have her biological father but has her daddy at home everyday.

                            As far as me adopting of course will have to be after we get married.
                            Last edited by tsrxis; 09-01-2009, 04:55 AM.

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