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Best recourse? Texas

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  • Best recourse? Texas

    Father moved out of state while I was pregnant, we were never married. He tried to terminate his rights twice. He stalled establishing paternity and child support for a year, then made payments for almost a year, then suddenly stopped 5 months ago. He's moved 3 more times since my son was born.

    Every few months, he contacts me saying he's coming to visit, yet never has. Our son is going on 2 and has never met him. He called last week to say he was moving to Texas to help raise our son. He said he's moving into a house with extra bedroom for my son, start a business, and get a a large display ad in the yellow pages, etc. Yet with all of these expenses, no child support forthcoming.

    He has not yet filed for visitation. I told him he would need to visit our son here for 3-6 months consistently before having him to his house, and that he neede to file for visitation at that time. He became emotionally volatile and demanded that he should have this priveledge after 2-3 visits with our son.

    I have done my best to keep the door open to my son's father in hope of something better, but at this point the same scenarios are repeating and I am tired of the conflict that always arises. I'm unsure what to do, and how to still be fair, yet protect myself from further exposure to his anger.

    Supposedly, he's arriving in Texas next week and I'm wondering if anyone has any ideas on how to best proceed with visits before he files for visitation, and how to best protect myself.

    I did call child support to let them now what was occuring. They had an old number from 2 moves ago and were not aware of his plans. They said they take him to court for child support once they found him.

    Sorry so long, but I now details are important. Thanks for your help.

  • #2
    Until you are ordered by a court to provide visitation, you are not obligated to provide any.

    Therefore, tell your ex that you will only allow a visit of ANY kind after a court has agreed to the terms.

    You owe your ex nothing... and make sure that he understands that.
    Not everything that makes you mad, sad or uncomfortable is legally actionable.

    I am not now nor ever was an attorney.

    Any statements I make are based purely upon my personal experiences and research which may or may not be accurate in a court of law.

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    • #3
      bingo. if he wants to prove that now he wants to be a parent, he can start making the CS pymts and get a lawyer and ger court ordered visitation. you can ask for it to be supervised until such time that they are comfortable with each other

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      • #4
        Thank you both for your responses. I'm concerned of how this will look to the judge. Especially as I agreed in recent correspondence to allow visitation- won't it hurt my case if I go back on my word?

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        • #5
          i don't think so. just tell him after more in depth research and consideration, you think this is best

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          • #6
            When children are concerned, people change their minds all the time. Given his habit of changing HIS mind on whether or not he wants to be a father, you would have excellent cause in questioning his motives.

            Because, unless he is forced to, he will visit a couple of times and then vanish again... leaving you to pay his emotional bar tab.

            Nope, now this goes to court... but remember, custody/visitation and child support are separate issues and one is not dependant on the other.
            Not everything that makes you mad, sad or uncomfortable is legally actionable.

            I am not now nor ever was an attorney.

            Any statements I make are based purely upon my personal experiences and research which may or may not be accurate in a court of law.

            Comment


            • #7
              I appreciate both of your advice, and it feels right. I tried this stance about a year ago and did not withstand the bullying and guilt trips from him and his mother. This time with another year of disappointment and the help of your advice, I will take this position with more confidence. Thanks.

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