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Custody Issues between Oregon & Washington

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  • #16
    Problem is both are working against me. What is CS? I have the feeling that I will have to wait til she is 18 to have any commuication with her again. I have made some huge mistakes, mistakes that I cannot believe I have made and I thought they were all in the best interest of my daughters well being. I thought at the time that I could trust the ppl she was going to stay with and that I would not be denied communication and visistiation.
    I FEEL LIKE THE STUPIDEST PERSON ALIVE! They promised me they would NEVER ever deny me communication or visitation....
    WOW.... I WAS BLIND!!!!!

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    • #17
      Originally posted by countrygirl69 View Post
      Problem is both are working against me. What is CS? I have the feeling that I will have to wait til she is 18 to have any commuication with her again. I have made some huge mistakes, mistakes that I cannot believe I have made and I thought they were all in the best interest of my daughters well being. I thought at the time that I could trust the ppl she was going to stay with and that I would not be denied communication and visistiation.
      I FEEL LIKE THE STUPIDEST PERSON ALIVE! They promised me they would NEVER ever deny me communication or visitation....
      WOW.... I WAS BLIND!!!!!
      CS is short for child support.

      Was the legal father (your second ex) court ordered to pay CS to you?

      If yes, did he pay you CS. If yes, did you turn around and send that CS to your daughter's caretakers?

      Have you been paying any CS to your daughters caretakers? ( above any CS the legal father paid)

      No you don't have to wait until she is 18- you can do something now, but you have to know what you can do- which is why the answers to those questions are important.

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      • #18
        I did recieve a couple of checks which were garnished from his employer, when I tried to send the half that would have gone for my oldest daughter, her bio father refused it.. he would not accept the money and would not give me an address to send the money to. His words were "I do not want any of the other guys money". So the little amount that I did get I used on my youngest daughter and her needs... clothes, food....

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        • #19
          Originally posted by countrygirl69 View Post
          I did recieve a couple of checks which were garnished from his employer, when I tried to send the half that would have gone for my oldest daughter, her bio father refused it.. he would not accept the money and would not give me an address to send the money to. His words were "I do not want any of the other guys money". So the little amount that I did get I used on my youngest daughter and her needs... clothes, food....

          You really need to consult with an attorney about how to regain custody. Be prepared tho, it's almost certain that the issue of YOUR non support will play a part in everything.

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          • #20
            I have however finally got an address to send a Wal-Mart gift card to their home address for her birthday and another for a Christmas gift. However, at that time when I was allowed to speak to my daughter... she told me that the money was spent on the other kids that were in the family and not on her and the "step mom" comfirmed this...
            I do not have any money to seek an attorny. I am currently appealing a denial for disability, I hurt my ankle almost two years ago and have not been able to work since... I am also fighting the insurance for proper care of my ankle. I have had a tremendous amount of things that have been against me since my 2nd ex-husband did what he did and even after 3 years I am still not on my feet. I am living with a friend right now due to my situation.
            I really dont know what to do. I really thought that her living with them was the right thing for her.... now I know it was the absolute oposite of right a I regret it MAJOR!!!!! Yes... If I could change the past I would in a heart beat!!!!
            The last time I tried getting help from Legal Aid they just put their noses up to me and almost pushed me out the door! They are the only avenue I know. Do you know something else I can try???

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            • #21
              Originally posted by countrygirl69 View Post
              I have however finally got an address to send a Wal-Mart gift card to their home address for her birthday and another for a Christmas gift. However, at that time when I was allowed to speak to my daughter... she told me that the money was spent on the other kids that were in the family and not on her and the "step mom" comfirmed this...
              I do not have any money to seek an attorny. I am currently appealing a denial for disability, I hurt my ankle almost two years ago and have not been able to work since... I am also fighting the insurance for proper care of my ankle. I have had a tremendous amount of things that have been against me since my 2nd ex-husband did what he did and even after 3 years I am still not on my feet. I am living with a friend right now due to my situation.
              I really dont know what to do. I really thought that her living with them was the right thing for her.... now I know it was the absolute oposite of right a I regret it MAJOR!!!!! Yes... If I could change the past I would in a heart beat!!!!
              The last time I tried getting help from Legal Aid they just put their noses up to me and almost pushed me out the door! They are the only avenue I know. Do you know something else I can try???
              I'm sorry, but each time you post it becomes more and more apparent that you are a classic "dead beat parent" where your oldest daughter is concerned.

              I can understand why you keep getting turned down for disablilty, an injured ankle alone (you only stated it's due to your ankle) does NOT TOTALLY disable anyone. There are all kinds of jobs you could get, but you CHOOSE to let everyone else support you.

              You are very correct, you cannot change the past- none of us can. However, you certainly have the abilty to change yourself and the future IF YOU REALLY WANT TO.

              Begin by admitting to yourself that YOU need to change YOUR attitude. Then go get some counseling, get a job that you are capable of doing (there are plenty available), then go see an attorney about getting back into your daughter's life.

              I know I'm being hard on you, but being a victim of DV is NOT an excuse to be a lazy neglectful parent/person. You need to put the past behind you and STOP letting your past abuser win. Yes, that's exactly what you are doing, as long as you continue to wallow in your self pity, poor me, nothings gone right for me, attitude- you are letting your abuser win.

              I truly hope and pray that you take my advice and get help, you are in my prayers, but until then I'm through trying to help you. It's up to you now to make the first move, once you've done that and need help, I'll be more than happy to assist you further if I can. Good luck to you.
              Xena
              Last edited by xena; 02-04-2007, 03:51 PM.

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              • #22
                DV induced depression comes to mind here, the person litterally thinks that they can not do anything even though they are a fully capable intelligent adult. I hope you are seeking help in a support group or with a counsellor.
                Last edited by demartian; 02-04-2007, 04:47 PM.

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