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Custody questions related to planned marriage - TX & CA Texas

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  • Custody questions related to planned marriage - TX & CA Texas

    I have what I think is a rather unique situation (it may be quite common, I dunno). My girlfriend and I are engaged and plan to get married later this year. She has a 3 year old son that she's fighting for custody. The unique part is, she lives in TX and I live in CA. The plan is, she's going to move here w/ her son and then we'll get married. However, there's a lot of red tape so far. She's been told that she might not be able to move to CA if she gets custody of her son, because she'd have to share visitation rights with her baby's daddy. She's tried to reason with her ex, but she's not really getting anywhere with him.

    What can we do? Isn't it possible for her to move to CA from TX with her son? Would it help if we got married in TX? Would that make it worse? We are both confused on how to handle this. Her lawyer isn't being very helpful as far as advising her. Any help is appreciated.

  • #2
    I can't help you wth your situation...I don't know much about custody. However, I think the court has to decide if they can't agree.

    And lastly, I will tell you that when the words, "lawyer isn't being very helpful as far as advising her" my advice is to dump that lawyer and retain a new one. Your lawyer is supposed to help you in regards to your legal matters.

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    • #3
      a judge will not tell her that she cannot move. However, they can and may inform her that the child may not move. She will need detailed plans on how she proposes to keep the child's father in his life and how visitation will happen. She may very well have to pay all transportation costs to allow the child to have visitation with the father. She will need the court's permission to move with the child most likely. Whether she is married or not, in CA or TX won't matter. What matters is that by giving the child to 1 parent who may leave town, that will interfere with the other parents right to their child. A judge may very well award custody to the other parent. Any reason you can't move there?

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      • #4
        Originally posted by milspecgirl View Post
        Any reason you can't move there?
        This may sound selfish on my behalf, but I moved from TX several years ago and have developed a great career here that if at all possible I'd like to not throw away. It not only benefits me, but will also benefit my fiance and her child in that I can support them both in great amount. I've worked quite hard to get to this point and moving back to TX would be a last resort. I love her dearly and all that comes with her, and would like to focus on getting her out here in anyway possible, where she wants to be, and where we believe we can provide a better life for her son.

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        • #5
          ok- completely reasonable. I understand. however, please be well aware that a judge can order the child not move. She will have to prove it is in the child's best interest. Show daycare, school, neighborhood, church, etc. Your ability to support them will mean nothing. It could actually hurt that she is not only moving the child but now living with someone the child has never lived with (married or not). what does her atty say?

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