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  • Delaware seeking help

    I'm stuck in a weird situation. I joined the military when my daughter was 2 years old. While I was in basic training my X filed for child support because of abandonment. My daughter is now 7 years old. I was paying child support until I was refused visitation by my X. I now know that was the wrong thing to do. I lost my job 2 years ago and have been taking care of my handicapped father. My son was born 8 months ago. I never knew I was suppose to inform child support of losing my job or having another child. I have court on jan 22nd 2007 for witholding income. I haven't had income to withold. My arrears total more then $10,000. I'm worried that I will be put in jail and not be able to be a part of my sons life either. I'm looking for a job 5 days a week. I have no drivers license so its real hard to fnd a job. Imissed out on my daughter's life I don't want to miss my son's too. My X has refused to inform me of her address change or her phone number change and won't send me any info about my daughters life. I'm so lost on this whole subject. It really feels like non-custodial parents have no rights. what steps should i take to ensure that I get to see my daughter and to keep myself out of jail ? Please help sorry for being so long.

  • #2
    okay first off- child support and visitation are 2 separate issues- they are unrelated. you have to pay child support if there is a court order. she has to allow visitation if there is a court order. so- are there any court orders and what do they say?

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    • #3
      The court ordered 400 per month in child support I was never informed of what my visitation would be?

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      • #4
        you have to file for visitation- they don't just give it to you. you have to ask for it. so, she is completely within her rights to deny you contact with the child. you need to go to child support enforcement and talk to them. then you need to file for visitation rights with your child if you want to be part of their life

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        • #5
          And NCPs have rights. They just have to be as proactive as the CPs are when they go for child support. File for visitation.

          Are you making any child support payments now? Even if it is only $5, that at least shows you are making an attempt.
          HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
          How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
          (unique up on him)
          How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
          (same way)

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          • #6
            Originally posted by mommyof4 View Post
            And NCPs have rights. They just have to be as proactive as the CPs are when they go for child support. File for visitation.

            Are you making any child support payments now? Even if it is only $5, that at least shows you are making an attempt.
            Absolutely, if you send money now before any warrant goes out for your arrest, it would show that you are attempting to pay and are not just dodging the system. They won't arrest people who are truly unable to pay, but if you just let this sit and don't take care of it, it will come back to bite you.

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            • #7
              NCP's have NOO RIGHTS without a court order which is obtained through an Attorney and several thousand dollars.

              CP has tax paid CSE offices working for them, so it REALLY is NOT the same thing. Do not pretend it is and do not say that proactive would be the same in both cases, because it clearly is not!!!

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              • #8
                Originally posted by CLAWS View Post
                NCP's have NOO RIGHTS without a court order which is obtained through an Attorney and several thousand dollars.

                CP has tax paid CSE offices working for them, so it REALLY is NOT the same thing. Do not pretend it is and do not say that proactive would be the same in both cases, because it clearly is not!!!

                Umm, okay, first, an atty is NOT absolutely necessary to file for custody/visitation. The filing fee and court costs are NOT thousands of dollars.

                And as for the CSE working for the CP, tell that to all the parents that are NOT recieving the court ordered child support, but as long as the NCP pays SOMETHING, they won't do anything to force the full payment to be made.

                Just because you are bitter doesn't make your accusations true. Do some people get screwed? Yep, on both sides of the equation. You also need to remember (and yes, I read your other rant) that not ALL CPs are the mother, and not ALL NCPs are wonderful, loving parents who are wrongfully kept from their children.

                Feel free to bash women and rant, but try to keep it contained to one thread.
                HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
                How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
                (unique up on him)
                How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
                (same way)

                Comment


                • #9
                  way to go mommy

                  Yea- I'd like the CSE to even return our calls (30k+ past due and no pymt in over 9 years) I definitely don't think they're working for the CP.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by milspecgirl View Post
                    Yea- I'd like the CSE to even return our calls (30k+ past due and no pymt in over 9 years) I definitely don't think they're working for the CP.
                    And forget JUST CSE, the courts allow people to just get away with not working and only ordered the minimum amounts. $25 a month won't even pay for my son's school lunch. Why should I bother CSE going after it.

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                    • #11
                      I was paying child support until I was refused visitation by my X. I now know that was the wrong thing to do. I lost my job 2 years ago and have been taking care of my handicapped father. My son was born 8 months ago. I never knew I was suppose to inform child support of losing my job or having another child.


                      Do try to pay even $5.00 regularly, it shows that you are trying, also, contact the child support office ASAP and let them know your situation, you can have the payments reduced or dropped until your situation changes. Good luck.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by demartian View Post
                        And forget JUST CSE, the courts allow people to just get away with not working and only ordered the minimum amounts. $25 a month won't even pay for my son's school lunch. Why should I bother CSE going after it.
                        Go to the child support office, meet the person assigned to you, and bring them home made cookies. It works wonders!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Honners View Post
                          I was paying child support until I was refused visitation by my X. I now know that was the wrong thing to do. I lost my job 2 years ago and have been taking care of my handicapped father. My son was born 8 months ago. I never knew I was suppose to inform child support of losing my job or having another child.


                          Do try to pay even $5.00 regularly, it shows that you are trying, also, contact the child support office ASAP and let them know your situation, you can have the payments reduced or dropped until your situation changes. Good luck.
                          Oh, CSE is very well aware that he is in arrears. It was his responsibilty upon losing his income to file for modification. Instead, he didn't do that and now it's way too late to ask for a modification before his court date. Just informing CSE of the problem will not cause them to drop or reduce the payments. There is a legal process for modification that requires legal forms, a review, and a decision. Whether he lost his job or not, if CSE (or in his case, the judge) decides that he is capable of working and earning what he was before, but is willfully unemployed or underemployed, his child support will NOT be lowered. His income will be imputed based upon what he was earning when he was working. Even if he is flat broke with no hope of getting a job, there is a minimum amount set by state guidelines that he will have to pay. At no time will CSE or a judge set his child support amount to $0.00.

                          Furthermore, his child support obligation comes before caring for his father and his new child. He knew he had a child support obligation before he the new baby, and he cleary and plainly states that he stopped paying child support because his ex would not let him see the child, even though she is under no legal obligation to do so at this time.
                          HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
                          How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
                          (unique up on him)
                          How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
                          (same way)

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I think CSE should have to give the NCP a packet of paper informing them of what should happen in different cases. I had no idea what the rules and regulations are for the different circumstances.

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by malteseeurodub View Post
                              I think CSE should have to give the NCP a packet of paper informing them of what should happen in different cases. I had no idea what the rules and regulations are for the different circumstances.
                              Here's a link for all states' child support information and guidlines.

                              www.supportguidelines.com
                              HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
                              How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
                              (unique up on him)
                              How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
                              (same way)

                              Comment

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