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Child has chosen non-custodial parent Indiana

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  • Child has chosen non-custodial parent Indiana

    My 17 year old daughter chose to live me last March (2006). I am the non-custodial father. I do not even have joint legal custody. The only way that her mom would agree to letting my daughter move in w/ me was to not change anything legally or financially. At the time, I verbally agreed. My daughter was having an extremely tough time socially and academically, and I felt it was very important to just get her out of that situation.

    Shortly after my daughter moved in with me, her mother moved to a 1 bedroom apt, even farther away than she was before, making it clear that she was no longer providing a home for her daughter. I continued paying FULL child support to her mom until November, in addition to paying ALL the expenses for my daughter. The ONLY money that the mother contributes towards her daughter's expenses is her cell phone bill.

    In November, I reduced the child support by 1/2. The situation has gotten to the point where it is causing a serious financial drain on my entire family. I reduced the support by 1/2 because our guidelines say that anytime the child exercised extended visitation with me, I can reduce the child support by 1/2. I figured this was a legal way to reduce my expenses w/o having to go to court.

    HOWEVER, this made my ex EXTREMELY mad. She is now threatening to come take my daughter away. I didn't want to have to go to court because I didn't want to put my daughter through this. She loves her mom, and doesn't want to hurt her feelings. But, with college expenses coming up next year, I think I am going to have to do it.

    Here's what I would like to do: Get joint custody, so that the mom doesn't have to pay me support, and I don't have to pay her support. What are my chances? I really don't want to have the mom pay me support. I really don't think she can afford it... and I really don't want to have to deal with the backlash that would result.

    Any comments from experienced legal counsel?

  • #2
    With joint custody you still will have to pay support. I am not experianced so wait for the others.




    Originally posted by wilsonrl3 View Post
    My 17 year old daughter chose to live me last March (2006). I am the non-custodial father. I do not even have joint legal custody. The only way that her mom would agree to letting my daughter move in w/ me was to not change anything legally or financially. At the time, I verbally agreed. My daughter was having an extremely tough time socially and academically, and I felt it was very important to just get her out of that situation.

    Shortly after my daughter moved in with me, her mother moved to a 1 bedroom apt, even farther away than she was before, making it clear that she was no longer providing a home for her daughter. I continued paying FULL child support to her mom until November, in addition to paying ALL the expenses for my daughter. The ONLY money that the mother contributes towards her daughter's expenses is her cell phone bill.

    In November, I reduced the child support by 1/2. The situation has gotten to the point where it is causing a serious financial drain on my entire family. I reduced the support by 1/2 because our guidelines say that anytime the child exercised extended visitation with me, I can reduce the child support by 1/2. I figured this was a legal way to reduce my expenses w/o having to go to court.

    HOWEVER, this made my ex EXTREMELY mad. She is now threatening to come take my daughter away. I didn't want to have to go to court because I didn't want to put my daughter through this. She loves her mom, and doesn't want to hurt her feelings. But, with college expenses coming up next year, I think I am going to have to do it.

    Here's what I would like to do: Get joint custody, so that the mom doesn't have to pay me support, and I don't have to pay her support. What are my chances? I really don't want to have the mom pay me support. I really don't think she can afford it... and I really don't want to have to deal with the backlash that would result.

    Any comments from experienced legal counsel?
    Last edited by no6turn; 01-08-2007, 11:13 AM.

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    • #3
      Joint Legal Custody - Sole Physical Custody

      I'm not sure what the correct legal terminology would be.

      My daughter lives w/ me ALL the time. She only goes to see her mom when I give her enough gas money to drive down there. Her mom doesn't even contribute $ towards my daughter's transportation expenses. If my daughter didn't drive down there, the mother would never make an effort to see her.

      At the most, my daughter only goes to see her mom about 1x a month (if that).

      Is there anything I can do so that I don't have to pay support? What would I have to file for?

      Comment


      • #4
        you could go for joint and state that there will be no support paid. Both parties would have to agree to this though i think.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by milspecgirl View Post
          you could go for joint and state that there will be no support paid. Both parties would have to agree to this though i think.

          I would go for full custody with time share for the mother. I think the only way you are going to get a no support order is full custody, where you are the primary custodal parent. You may be able to convence her to sign an ageed entry. I am not sure once a suport order is in place if an agreed enty will be posible with a no support order. Most attorney charge 1000-3000 for custody issues. and 2000-5000 for filing motions for support modifications. You said she was 17... It might be more cost effective to speak to an attorney about stoping support once she is 18 on the basis that she is an adult. Not sure

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          • #6
            If your custody papers say that Mom has sole custody (you say you don't even have joint custody) and she is the custodial parent, then she can go through with her threat to take your daughter back at any time.

            You need to file for a modification in the custody order, giving you joint custody and making you the custodial parent. Once you are the custodial parent, you usually will receive child support (rather than provide it), but you can make an agreement that she need not pay (if you both so desire).

            To get primary custody transferred to you, you need to prove that doing so is in the child's best interest. Since she already lives with you, and Mom has moved and does not make an effort to see the child, you probably won't have too much trouble.

            You should not be paying support at all if the child lives with you full time. But until you have a court order saying so, you have to abide by the orders of the original order. You need to file ASAP.

            Comment


            • #7
              Just wanted to add that I am now about to recieve child support. I did recieve a papers where you have the option to fill out a change of status to apply for child support to be suspended... One of these options is the child lives with (obligator).

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