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Transferred oldest daughter w/o permission Florida

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  • Transferred oldest daughter w/o permission Florida

    Well, it seems my fiance's ex thought things were getting too calm lately, and decided to take matters into her own hands.

    My fiance had the girls, 11 and 17, for a week of winter break. During that time, he had their annual dental exams done. He called to schedule their annual physicals, but the only appointment available fell on the Tuesday after they returned to the ex. He went ahead and booked the appointment, then sent her an email explaining they'd been scheduled, they were the only ones available, he realized it was on her time, and offered to take the girls if she was unable to do so. The 11 year old is suffering horrendous issues with her weight, gaining and loosing almost twenty five pounds in the last year; right now, she's 5'2, and weighs 135. The 17 year old complains constantly to the ex about stomach problems, to the point the ex had two surgical procedures done without my fiances input; the results were negative for both. Diabetes and heart problems run on both sides of the family, and my fiance is highly concerned to say the least. Well, the ex flatly refused to allow the girls to go. She said they had plans, it was her time, he had no right to book the appointments, and basically threw a fit. She took them shopping instead, then spent the afternoon with her married boyfriend.

    The Guardian Ad Litem called my fiance to wish him happy holidays, and asked to be informed immediately if the ex didn't take them to the appointments. Yes, he received the update as requested. My fiance was able to get the 11 year old in last week, and yes, she had some medical issues. Both her sinus are totally blocked, she failed a hearing test as a result. She was due two booster shots. Her cholesterol is higher than recommended, too. The doctor has sent her to a specialist for additional blood work; she's thinking hormones may be playing a role in the up and down weight. However, you can literally mark it on the calander - when she's with the ex, she gains. When she comes home, she stabilizes and looses. To add to everything, the 11 year old started her first period the day of her appointment. My fiance sent all the info to the ex - he's received no form of acknowledgement or reply.

    The ex sent my fiance an email last Wednesday night informing him she'd transferred the 17 year old to a different high school. This is out of our school district, and will easily take forty five minutes or so to shuttle the girl there, then an additional forty five minutes to get back to the house. Both girls will have to get up at five o'clock to be ready, with the 11 year old loosing two hours sleep as a result! My fiance will end up loosing several hours of visitation time each Friday the 17 year old is supposed to be with him because instead of her riding the bus to his home, he'll have to wait until the youngest is home, then battle rush hour traffic to go and pick her up.

    When this occured, his attorney and the GAL were both out of town for the holidays. He's sent an email with both included requesting this transfer be reversed immediately, the 17 year old be placed back in his custody until the final custody determination, and contempt charges be filed immediately on the ex for her willful violation of state law and existing court orders.

    He is the primary custodial parent of the 11 year old. She is the temporary custodial parent of the 17 year old. The GAL has been investigating since June. During his call, he told my fiance he expects to be done in 30 - 60 days. There's documented evaluations stating there is a case of Parental Alienation Syndrome occuring with the 17 year old and ex against my fiance. The ex totally ignores and neglects the 11 year old. When she received the medical update, since problems were discovered after she refused to take them, it seems to be a case of her focusing 100% on the 17 year old to deflect attention from herself for ignoring their medical care. Of course, all the reasons she stated for the transfer are bunk - the school was ranked 172 out of 1200 nationwide; the new one is 652.

    Is it reasonable to believe SOMETHING will be done to the ex, holding her accountable for her actions??? Is it reasonable to demand contempt charges be filed? Is it a possibility he will have the 17 year old returned give the investigation ongoing and the expected completion date? The attorney has been of no use, doesn't answer messages, respond to emails, prepare any paperwork regarding the outstanding financial settlement - my fiance spoke with a different one Friday; if he doesn't hear back from the current one first thing Monday, he's retaining the new one. Is there anything else he would be within the law to do?? Since there are attorneys for both sides, the county clerk told him he cannot file his own motions; they'd have to be signed by an attorney.

  • #2
    Yes, he could file contempt charges, if these changes, make it impossible, for the ex, to see the children, as stated in the visitation order. Most changes, must be done with the best interest of the child at heart. I would think, since the child(ren) have physical issues allready, you should obtain a written note from the doctor, stateing that loosing alot of sleep, over the transfer to the new school, could harm the child, it should be changed. None of this means that a judge will reverse it, but it is worth a shot. It should be brought to the judges attention, that the ex also refused to take the child to said doctors appointment, and let the judge know the findings of the new appointment, that you had to make, and bring the child to. I don't think the judge will care, whos turn it is to have the child, if there is an appointment made, it should be kept, but I do not know if laws back this up. I would for sure get a new attorney, and one who will go for the best interest of the children, and not stop, until that is what happens! It should also be shown, that with these medical conditions, that all parties involved, will make sure that doctors orders are to be followed (like a certain diet, for the one who has high cholesterol levels). Good luck to you!
    Last edited by turbowray; 01-07-2007, 09:25 PM.

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    • #3
      Thank you. The current attorney was retained the first week of June, full of ambition and promise. While we realize some clients can really become pests and inundate attorneys with ridiculous requests, that's not the case here. It's a great cause for concern, especially given the events that continue to occur with no reprocussions to the ex's flagrant disregard for both the state laws and court orders. I'll pass the information on to my fiance concerning the doctors note - we hadn't thought of that.

      To date, the ex hasn't scheduled any appointment for the 17 year old, either. My fiance could, but given his scheduled time with her is every other Friday after school until Monday morning, the same scenario is likely to occur. When the ex schedule the unnecessary procedures, she wouldn't provide the date and time of any associated doctors appointment. When he called the doctor, she even told him that it wasn't her place to fill him in, that he should've attended the appointment!! The ex and the 17 year old are trying to eliminate him and the 11 year old entirely, and by everything I've seen in the last two years, they're darn near succeeding. We've not heard back from the GAL regarding the appointments the ex refused to take the girls to. We have high hopes something will be handled today as both the attorney and GAL should be back from vacations.

      An additional concern I have is the GAL had asked me during our interview if I knew of family members or friends that would be willing to be guardians for both girls - I almost fell out of my chair. I told him I knew several, but they lived between two to three hours away. I even offered to take the girls - they both needs extensive counseling, but until they're removed from the situation, will never progress as they need to for their own emotional and mental health. The ex has also violated a Mar 2'06 order where the judge said BOTH girls were to be in full time counseling - the 17 year old hasn't had so much as one appointment scheduled. The GAL, from what he said, has the impression the ex and my fiance are so focused on trying to make each other look bad, and trying so desperately to proove they're always right, they've totally lost focus on the girls. The girls, since the split in custody, have declined tremendously academically as well as emotionally and behaviourly. They no longer even have a semblence of a relationship with one another, needless to say with family members. The family is highly concerned, praying for a final decision - this has been on-going for almost five years now.

      I really don't know if the school transfer would be reversed. I think it would totally depend on proving the claims as to why it occured are false, proving the affects it'd have on the girls, and emphasizing the judge understands there was a total violation of Shared Parenting. We'll see what happens today, though.

      Thank you!

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by fla_nanny View Post
        Thank you. The current attorney was retained the first week of June, full of ambition and promise. While we realize some clients can really become pests and inundate attorneys with ridiculous requests, that's not the case here. It's a great cause for concern, especially given the events that continue to occur with no reprocussions to the ex's flagrant disregard for both the state laws and court orders. I'll pass the information on to my fiance concerning the doctors note - we hadn't thought of that.

        To date, the ex hasn't scheduled any appointment for the 17 year old, either. My fiance could, but given his scheduled time with her is every other Friday after school until Monday morning, the same scenario is likely to occur. When the ex schedule the unnecessary procedures, she wouldn't provide the date and time of any associated doctors appointment. When he called the doctor, she even told him that it wasn't her place to fill him in, that he should've attended the appointment!! The ex and the 17 year old are trying to eliminate him and the 11 year old entirely, and by everything I've seen in the last two years, they're darn near succeeding. We've not heard back from the GAL regarding the appointments the ex refused to take the girls to. We have high hopes something will be handled today as both the attorney and GAL should be back from vacations.

        An additional concern I have is the GAL had asked me during our interview if I knew of family members or friends that would be willing to be guardians for both girls - I almost fell out of my chair. I told him I knew several, but they lived between two to three hours away. I even offered to take the girls - they both needs extensive counseling, but until they're removed from the situation, will never progress as they need to for their own emotional and mental health. The ex has also violated a Mar 2'06 order where the judge said BOTH girls were to be in full time counseling - the 17 year old hasn't had so much as one appointment scheduled. The GAL, from what he said, has the impression the ex and my fiance are so focused on trying to make each other look bad, and trying so desperately to proove they're always right, they've totally lost focus on the girls. The girls, since the split in custody, have declined tremendously academically as well as emotionally and behaviourly. They no longer even have a semblence of a relationship with one another, needless to say with family members. The family is highly concerned, praying for a final decision - this has been on-going for almost five years now.

        I really don't know if the school transfer would be reversed. I think it would totally depend on proving the claims as to why it occured are false, proving the affects it'd have on the girls, and emphasizing the judge understands there was a total violation of Shared Parenting. We'll see what happens today, though.

        Thank you!
        Please let me know what happens today!!! Did you get the note? Did you get the records from the doctor, with the diagnosis, that could have been figured out earlier? Please keep me up to date!

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        • #5
          Grrrrrr!

          There was utterly NO response from my fiance's attorney Monday. He called the office, spoke with the assistant, who assured him she'd already printed everything and placed the case file on the attorney's desk. My fiance told her he felt his case wasn't being given the attention it warranted, there were immediate issues which needed to be handled, and that he needed to hear from his attorney by the end of the day - still, NOTHING. The assistant said the attorney was in court, had just returned from vacation, and had a couple of minor surgical procedures done. All understandable, however, wouldn't he at least have some sort of contingency plan in the event, such as this, where he was out for THREE WEEKS??

          The Guardian is scheduled to interview my fiance's ex father-in-law this morning at 0900 hrs. This is the final interview of all the witnesses. The GAL will then schedule a final interview with the girls at the ex's, then an interview with the girls at my fiance's. I honestly don't know if the attorney feels it's better NOT to do anything since the investigation is on-going. But, if this were the case, it'd certainly be far better to clue my fiance in!!!!!

          My fiance will, for the final time, try reaching the attorney first thing this morning. Should he be unable to speak with him, he's moving forward and retaining the attorney he met with Friday.

          I've only been involved for the previous two years - this nonsense had already went on three years previous. I cannot believe that sheer number of court orders and state laws violated which the court has tolerated. I cannot believe how these children have been thrown to the wolves, so to speak, allowing the ex opportunity after opportunity to file false allegations, false police reports, false DCF reports, alienate the eldest entirely from her own father, and subject both girls to her EIGHT boyfriends, even staying in the same hotel rooms. Unbelievable, with the girls paying the ultimate price when all is said and done.

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          • #6
            On your one comment: "When he called the doctor, she even told him that it wasn't her place to fill him in, that he should've attended the appointment!! "

            Call the Doctor's office back and request a copy of the 17 year old's file. If the Doctor refuses, ask her the proper name and address to have in the court order to retrieve the files that your fiance is legally entitled to.

            Darn, I have had complete files sent from one doctor to another, to the schools and for my files in seconds flat (for both of my children), how a doctor would get away with such an answer is beyond me.

            Comment


            • #7
              11 year old - dr update

              The 11 year old just finished a doctor's appointment today. She was referred to a specialst who was supposed to draw blood, checking her hormone levels - just in case that was attributing to her weight issues. Instead, after this doctor reviewed her up and down weight cycle, depending on who she was with, called in a dietician. They are entering notes in her medical record stating the weight issue is definately due to diet. Every time she's with the ex, she gains weight. It's been so bad that during a one and a half week stay, she gained 8 pounds!!! The dietician gave her a "cheat sheet" with the food groups on it, what food each group contained, and instructions on exactly what needed to be eliminated, reduced, and substituted in her diet immediately, and how much excersise she needs daily. They said she is to loose 5 pounds, keeping it off when she returns for a follow up in six months time. My fiance had taken in all the emails and actual calendar he'd recorded her departing/returning weights on; both the doctor and dietician were concerned. He'll be providing copies of the paperwork today to the ex, CC'ing the GAL on the email.

              So far his attorney is still missing in action. He's filling out a formal complaint with the bar association today. He's going to request a copy of the 17 year olds medical file, too.

              A question I had was if he retains the new attorney, who in turn files for contempt, is it possible the court would just say, "well, she did the same thing here, here, and here with nothing filed, WHY should she be held accountable THIS time if it accepted behaviour in the past?". The first attorney was concerned the ex's behaviour would go off the scale if he started filing motion after motion - he said it'd be like pouring gas onto a fire. A new judge has rotated onto the bench, which may or may not be a good thing. Frankly, there's such a long history, the old judge couldn't remember everything that had occured, and needed reminding of key events. Since the contempt motion is based on actual state law and court orders, regardless if motions hadn't been filed in the past, will the court look at THIS instance, making a determination on strictly this instance? It wouldn't be a case of a past precidence being set by lack of action on the attorneys part?

              Oh, and my fiance found out Tuesday the Guardian has yet to interview any of the ex's witnesses He was appointed in June, directed by the court to get the investigation completed as quickly as possible. We're easily looking at another couple of months before his report and recommendation will be completed, if the "urgency" to date is any indication.

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              • #8
                It might be a good thing that it will take a bit, for the guardian to make any decisions, since you are obtaining a new attorney, this way, the attorney could speak to the guardian, and know the things to say, or pass on your concerns, to help you, with this case. I am glad that the doctor is taking the time, to report the weight issue, and concerns, and the proof to back it up, then it is not speculation on your part anymore, it is true. Oh, if I were your husband, the calls would have ceased, and I would have marched into his office, and said, I am not leaving until I get to speak with him personally, or get a phone conference with him here. Then I would stay until they are ready to go home, and say, we can all go home, once I speak to him, just to know my attorney is alive, and actually survived the medical procedure (humor guys). I don't take to kindly to being ignored, and yes, I am sooo glad that your lawyer is being reported, if enough time is passing without him being able to represent you, and it could damage your case, then he should have worked out a replacement attorney, to cover, until he could be available. It is however not uncommon for vacations to interfere with things. My friends court date was postponed, with the judges ok, because of a pre planned paid for vacation, that the lawyer could not get money back on. Keep us in tabs here!! Just keep in mind, not to much information, on your new attorneys game plan, just in case someone who knows who you are, and can figure it out, warns them on what they have read. You can pm us with very personal and private plans, that you would not want them to be aware of. Good luck to you!

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                • #9
                  Oh, thank you for the support and encouragement!! Yes, the internet can be a wonderful thing, but with these particular issues, it's always wise to remember - the internet is public!! Thank you for offering the option of PM's - I may well do so in the next couple of weeks.

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                  • #10
                    No prob, we do truely have everyones best interest at heart.

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