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my girls are slaves- talk about cinderella North Dakota

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  • my girls are slaves- talk about cinderella North Dakota

    I recently found out from my girls, 5 and 7, that they are made to do all the house work minus dishes (there is a dishwasher) and cook.

    Now I have no problem with having chores, but here is the list:

    take out garbage and clean out garbage can
    clean kitchen- floors, tables, wipe out drawers and cupboards
    Clean livingroom- wiping down all the tables, cleaning up anything, and vacuming
    Dust- everything
    Clean the bathroom- sink, tub, tiolet, and floors
    cleaning their room- not bad, just part of the list
    Change all the bedding in all the rooms

    Now a few of those things clean livingroom, vacuum and cleaning room I could understand. But they have warning labels to keep chemicals away from kids for a reason. They can be harmful to their skin. Espcially since the 5 yr old has very sensitive skin, eczema, and breakout resulting in staph. My 7 yr old says the powder that they sprinkle into the sink in the bathroom makes her hands hurt.

    Could this be something I could report to child services? I have a real problem with them being made to do everything and using chemicals when "daddy doesn't do anything, he just sits at his computer. Bonnie just tells us what to do, but sometimes she does the dishes, mostly the dishwasher though."

    Also, he has had my girls seeing a councelor and just told me. I asked the girls about it and they said yes to talk about when we are with you(meaning with me). Now I have been trying to encourage the girls to talk to the councelor about some of the things they tell me, but they are afraid. my 7 yr old has already said that they got in trouble for something they said when the councelor told Bonnie. He is never present, she only takes them, and she only talks to the councelor. The biggest thing lately is that my 7 yr old is having nightmares from the video games he plays when they are awake. She keeps dreaming of robots killing people.

    funny thing is he even just a week and a half ago mentioned in court papers about a game my step son played over a year ago. He keeps bringing it up, but he is giving them nightmares with his games. GRRR
    Last edited by tina5160; 12-29-2006, 06:44 PM.

  • tina5160
    replied
    Originally posted by demartian View Post
    Also, what happens if the children refuse to do these chores? If there is harsh punishements, there is a greater possibility that CPS would get involved.

    My own son gets 50 cents taken out of his weekly $5 allowance for not doing certain chores. I am trying to teach the "you have to work for money" lesson, although he seems to opt for no allowance a lot of the time. Grrr...
    punishment--well they are made to sit on their beds and do nothing. Not like it is anything different then normal. They are not allowed tv, they only have their toys, which they can only play with when the baby they share a room with isn't sleeping. They are very limited on everything as it is. They are too afraid to refuse.

    Leave a comment:


  • demartian
    replied
    Originally posted by kalindria View Post
    I think I would buy my children some sturdy rubber gloves and explain that different households have different rules. I would also pursue it legally if you honestly think it rises to that level.

    It's rarely easy sharing the raising of your children. Best of luck.
    Also, what happens if the children refuse to do these chores? If there is harsh punishements, there is a greater possibility that CPS would get involved.

    My own son gets 50 cents taken out of his weekly $5 allowance for not doing certain chores. I am trying to teach the "you have to work for money" lesson, although he seems to opt for no allowance a lot of the time. Grrr...

    Leave a comment:


  • kalindria
    replied
    I think I would buy my children some sturdy rubber gloves and explain that different households have different rules. I would also pursue it legally if you honestly think it rises to that level.

    It's rarely easy sharing the raising of your children. Best of luck.

    Leave a comment:


  • tina5160
    replied
    Originally posted by jim_bo
    Unfortunately, Mom is probably right. I don't know the whole story, but it sounds like you are more pissed off about the kids having chores than anything (hence, the term "slave"). It sounds like the caustic nature of cleaning supplies is just a good tool to free the kids from "slavery". IMHO, kids these days don't have nearly enough chores. It builds character. Good for dad!

    Jimbo
    I don't think you read all of the above. Does dad really deserve a kudos when he is teaching the kids I have you to do house work while I sit at my computer and not do one once of it myself. My kids have chores at my house, not only the step kids that are here all the time but also the girls when they come. So no I don't have a problem with chores. But I also don't think a 5 yr old should be scrubbing toilets and tubs, or cleaning out drawers and cupboards. When a parent isn't doing anything themselves, all it teaches is resentment.

    Leave a comment:


  • MomofBoys
    replied
    Originally posted by tina5160 View Post
    Like I said, Chores is one thing, but the kids do almost everything. And my major concern is that they are using cleaning products. Cleaning products can be caustic, and for young children to be using them with no protection? Even on an MSDS even AJAX or COMET say to use gloves.
    I think child services (and a judge) might think you are pushing it... you don't want to make baseless accusations (I AM NOT SAYING that's what you are doing, I'm only saying what it could be perceived as... the road to hell is paved with good intentions, after all ).

    As far as the cleaning products, if your kids are having skin reactions, take them to the doctor, especially the child who already has a skin condition. My son also has eczema, and it can be awful. Ask the doctor if using AJAX, etc. could be the cause of flare-ups, and if he will provide you with documentation of that. Present that documentation to your ex. If they continue to have the kids use those cleaning products WITHOUT protective gloves, then you might have a basis for a legitimate complaint. But this is something that I would try desperately to solve WITHOUT invloving CPS. It could cause some problems and unnecessary stress.

    Leave a comment:


  • tina5160
    replied
    Like I said, Chores is one thing, but the kids do almost everything. And my major concern is that they are using cleaning products. Cleaning products can be caustic, and for young children to be using them with no protection? Even on an MSDS even AJAX or COMET say to use gloves.

    Leave a comment:


  • demartian
    replied
    I am not sure about working with chemicals, I doubt CPS will do anything about the chores, children do much more on the farm.

    My own son has to vacuum (with a really light vacuum) once a week and hardly ever does. If you talk to my mother though (his grandmother) you'd think that he was being made to do hard labor. He feels at 8 years old that we are bossing him around because we ask him to do things like pick up a coat he just threw on the floor. That's children for you.

    Why not just go for more custody of them and then this won't be an issue. If he mentions games in the court papers, make sure you mention his current games as well.

    Leave a comment:

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