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  • #46
    I am the furthest thing from alienation. I have encouraged her to try to have contact with her mom- have even put her mom's pic up in her room. This woman has continually hurt that child and no one- parent or not should allow a child that they have any control over to be continually hurt by someone who is supposed to love them. This woman has given us no way to contact her and obviously wants nothing to do with her child. Why should I force the child to see her 1x (which is her choice)a year when it is a detriment to the child's physical and mental health (documented by medical professionals)? So now I am alienating her? HELLO!!!!! she has done that all by herself- she certainly doesn't need my help.

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    • #47
      Originally posted by ciceromom View Post
      legally, no she doesnt. she may be acting in the capacity of a parent, but legally, she is a stranger to the child. and if a judge finds out out she is interfering, or attempting to interfere, with MOM'S relationship with the child. it can come back to bite her husband on the rear. up to and including dad being stripped of custody. she cannot decide her stepdaughter isnt going to see mom, thats a good way for her husband to be found in contempt. and her to be told to butt out. as much as she loves this child( and i dont doubt she does) she is NOT her mother. she is coming very close to the definition of parental alienation, and its going to cause her husband some big time problems.
      I see Ciceromom's heartfelt earlier appology has disappeared from this thread.

      That said: Cicero: where did you get this from? For starters, it is counter-productive to your argument that she's not the mother, because the definition of parental alientaiton is any behaviour by a parent, a child's mother or father, whether conscious or unconscious, that could create alienation in the relationship between a child and the other parent. As far as the law is concerned, only a LEGAL parent can engage in parental alienation. That sort of flies in the face of your theory that "she is coming very close to the definition of parental alienation." You keep saying she's not the mother, then you accuse her of commiting an act that can only be done by the mother or father. You can't have it both ways.

      Cicero is, however, correct that an interfering step-parent may cause legal problems. However, Cicero apparently failed to read the original post. She's not interferring. She's describing the situation as it is playing out between the daughter's biological parents. Just because she's the "step" mom and agrees with the Dad doesn't automatically translate into her getting in the way of the proceedings.

      Cicero is assuming this simply because the OP refers to the child as "my daughter." My husband has never once gotten in the way of my legal proceedings with my son's bio-dad, but he still considers himself my son's father. It happens every day. And the nit-picking of the fact that she calls her "my daughter" has gotten in the way of the problem: she wanted to know if bio-mom had a case to get custody of the daughter. The general consensus is that at this point in time, she doesn't have much of a case.

      And as far as her being left out of the proceedings: The OP has STATED that she goes to court and sits quietly, not participating. But again, when deciding custody, the court may ask her to bear witness as to the manner in which the child is being brought up. She's not automaticaly negated.

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      • #48
        Originally posted by jim_bo
        in loco parentis will not trump a bio parent's rights... unless that person has OJ Simpson's lawyers.

        Oh.. you are an idiot.
        Actually, it does if the court deems that the person that has been in loco parentis has an impact on the child's well being. That's kinda' the whole point of in loco parentis...so that a person that has a significant relationship with the child will not be cut out of the child's life (as would be a detriment to the child) because the biological parent decides that they don't like this person anymore.

        Now, I simplified that explanation for your understanding. Hope it helps you learn something, but...I doubt it. After all, you already know more than any of us do, right? Give you a hint, look up the spelling of chaplain and what their funciton is.
        HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
        How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
        (unique up on him)
        How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
        (same way)

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        • #49
          OMG- for the last time, no one is interfering with the mom's rights to bond except THE MOM!!!!!!!!!!!! She refuses training in all medical needs and has for 7 years- regardless of my husband offering to pay for all the training she needs!!!! The Doctor's are telling us not to send her - it could KILL HER!!!! Exactly how is that interfering with her rights? The child is scared of the woman and knows that if she got sick while with her it could kill her. She also knows her loving mom has refused to get trained in how to treat her- how would you feel as a child if this was the case? So, no one at my house is trying to interfere with the mom. The mom has done it all herself. I guess I am supposed to step back and have nothing to do with the child- and again break her heart when a mommy doesn't care just so the mom won't think i'm trying to interfere with her rights (that she only wants on her terms). Are you people insane? Maternal force, mom, mommy, stepmom, woman figure- I don't care how it is put- no one in their right mind would step away from a child who needs them that bad.

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          • #50
            Originally posted by milspecgirl View Post
            OMG- for the last time, no one is interfering with the mom's rights to bond except THE MOM!!!!!!!!!!!! She refuses training in all medical needs and has for 7 years- regardless of my husband offering to pay for all the training she needs!!!! The Doctor's are telling us not to send her - it could KILL HER!!!! Exactly how is that interfering with her rights? The child is scared of the woman and knows that if she got sick while with her it could kill her. She also knows her loving mom has refused to get trained in how to treat her- how would you feel as a child if this was the case? So, no one at my house is trying to interfere with the mom. The mom has done it all herself. I guess I am supposed to step back and have nothing to do with the child- and again break her heart when a mommy doesn't care just so the mom won't think i'm trying to interfere with her rights (that she only wants on her terms). Are you people insane? Maternal force, mom, mommy, stepmom, woman figure- I don't care how it is put- no one in their right mind would step away from a child who needs them that bad.
            Mil...those that matter...(not the froot loops that are simply arguing to "hear" their own voice) know your situation and are well aware that you are not interfering. Just let the other two posters blow all the hot air they want. Neither of them has any correct legal basis or validation for what they are trying to impose upon you. Kelly is a well known troll with many, many issues and Jim Bo is well on his way to being known as the same. Every time someone points out his inaccuracies, his stock answer is "you are an idiot."

            Take a big breath and relax. You know the true situation and between all the meaningless BS, you recieved good advice. Be sure to keep us updated on whether or not she files for contempt and what happens.
            HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
            How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
            (unique up on him)
            How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
            (same way)

            Comment


            • #51
              mommy- u are a blessing. Our AL atty has told us to wait a month or 2 and if she doesn't file anything, we should file to modify where she visits here where she can be supervised by someone with training. If she does file, our Al atty will answer with a dismissal based on jurisdiction and hopefully get jurisdiction changed to TN. As for the adoption, we are needing to wait until may or so to file that (still scraping up the money). My hubby goes for a CS meeting in Feb so hopefully that will start to be an annoyance to her and she will just sign over her rights, but i doubt it. thanks

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              • #52
                Originally posted by jim_bo
                First of all... you are an idiot. Second of all, the point that Cicero and I were making was NOT that the step mom was interfering, rather she needed to avoid the APPEARANCE of interference. Just because you have a personal axe to grind against me and Cicero does not make you the only source of all that is right and true. To the contrary, your "advice" is so tainted by your anger for others that your judgement is clouded. To tell someone to ignore caution in a case like this is irresponsible.

                Milspecgirl, you should be commended for your dedication to your step-child. Thank goodness you have an attorney involved. However, please do recognize that sometimes the "ex" will use the system to manipulate a personal agenda. It has nothing to do with right or wrong. You just have to be aware and protect yourself constantly.

                Jimbo
                To quote you (do I need to negotiate a contract to pay you royalties???)..you are an idiot. Nowhere did you or Kelly caution against the impression of parental alienation (a syndrome, by the way that is very controversial and may or may not be recognized by a court). You and Kelly were quite clear in what you said. Regardless, whatever you MEANT to convey, obviously did NOT come across as you intended. That is evidenced by the obvious distress you caused the OP.

                As you do NOT know the entire situation as you obviously never took the time to read her previous threads, you have no idea what you are advising her to do. If you want others to respect your "advice" I suggest you start showing a bit of respect to others that have been paying attention.

                For the last time, Ciceromom is a KNOWN troll. Not by me, you buffoon. By multiple boards and multiple posters on ALL of the boards she has been banned from. It just so happens that I know who she is and what her history is. Her advice is much like yours...to dead threads, purposely inflamatory, and often wrong. Of course, you know what they say...even a broken clock is right twice a day. Unfortunately for you and Kelly, it's not your time to be right.

                I know it will make you sad, but I am not replying to another post directed at me from you again. It's pointless, and frankly, you don't hold up to the mental challenge I would prefer in with a worthy debate partner. "You are an idiot" doesn't really hold up your end of a discussion adequately enough to suit me. I will, however, continue to report any of your posts that are deliberately rude, inflamatory, argumentative, and derogatory. Good day.
                Last edited by mommyof4; 01-02-2007, 01:18 PM.
                HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
                How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
                (unique up on him)
                How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
                (same way)

                Comment

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