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  • Child Support Question... Florida

    My hubby has a daughter from a previous relationship and we have had her in our home since March 2006. He paid child support all the way til early October. He went to court in Aug and won temp custody. No child support was issued at that time. The mother was going through a lot and he knew she couldnt pay him CS so he didnt pursue it then. She had been keeping every check since March and we had the child in our care. It was finally stopped. We have never received anything from the mother since we got her in March. Not one penny, not one diaper, not one wipe. We have asked for diapers and wipes and she has promised things to us plenty of time but we never get it. Since March she still has yet to get a job or a stable home. She keeps changing homes and still no car or license either. It's getting to a point to where my husband needs CS especially since the Holidays are passing.


    What he wants to know should he file for child support now or wait til the final hearing for full custody. Our lawyer wants him to wait but the lawyer dont want to wait on his money that he owes him thats for sure. The final hearing could be months away. We dont know. We heard that the judge could look at him not asking for CS (the last time he went to court) 2 ways at the final hearing..
    1) if you didnt need or ask for it then, then why do you need it now..
    or 2) respect the fact that he wanted the mother to get on her feet.
    We have heard both from very reliable sources but he is torn, because the mother is not working or trying to better herself while I am taking care of her daughter with no help from her at all. Along with my hubby of course, but I am saying to a daughter that the mother should be helping in caring for as well. My hubby has paid all his CS and with her keeping 6 months worth of CS checks that should rid him of any arrearages he may have had.

    So if anyone has any advice please help. We really need it. We really have tried to be fair. Also if our lawyer doesnt want to go ahead with a CS case for now should he try and do it without him or find another attorney. Assuming that going ahead right now would be the right decision.

    One last thing they had mediation and she never showed. Also the judge ordered for her to return all checks that she receive from CS back to the father and she still did not do that. She is claiming someone stole all of them and cashed them. They are fingerprinted and they have fake Social Security number and her aunts house phone number on 1 of them. She has to be the one to pursue them and she always says she is but she never does anything about it. She already rec. the fraud papers but has yet to send them in.

    When they went to mediation my hubby still had to pay his part plus he has all these lawyer fees, plus not getting CS!! If the roles were reversed this wouldnt even be a question. They wouldnt have even given the man a break.
    Plus we are paying for all doctor visits. That was in the original papers that he was not responsible for. The mother was!!!

    Thanks, Merry Christmas!!!

  • #2
    Originally posted by Michelle523 View Post
    My hubby has a daughter from a previous relationship and we have had her in our home since March 2006. He paid child support all the way til early October. He went to court in Aug and won temp custody. No child support was issued at that time. The mother was going through a lot and he knew she couldnt pay him CS so he didnt pursue it then. She had been keeping every check since March and we had the child in our care. It was finally stopped. We have never received anything from the mother since we got her in March. Not one penny, not one diaper, not one wipe. We have asked for diapers and wipes and she has promised things to us plenty of time but we never get it. Since March she still has yet to get a job or a stable home. She keeps changing homes and still no car or license either. It's getting to a point to where my husband needs CS especially since the Holidays are passing.


    What he wants to know should he file for child support now or wait til the final hearing for full custody. Our lawyer wants him to wait but the lawyer dont want to wait on his money that he owes him thats for sure. The final hearing could be months away. We dont know. We heard that the judge could look at him not asking for CS (the last time he went to court) 2 ways at the final hearing..
    1) if you didnt need or ask for it then, then why do you need it now..
    or 2) respect the fact that he wanted the mother to get on her feet.
    We have heard both from very reliable sources but he is torn, because the mother is not working or trying to better herself while I am taking care of her daughter with no help from her at all. Along with my hubby of course, but I am saying to a daughter that the mother should be helping in caring for as well. My hubby has paid all his CS and with her keeping 6 months worth of CS checks that should rid him of any arrearages he may have had.

    So if anyone has any advice please help. We really need it. We really have tried to be fair. Also if our lawyer doesnt want to go ahead with a CS case for now should he try and do it without him or find another attorney. Assuming that going ahead right now would be the right decision.

    One last thing they had mediation and she never showed. Also the judge ordered for her to return all checks that she receive from CS back to the father and she still did not do that. She is claiming someone stole all of them and cashed them. They are fingerprinted and they have fake Social Security number and her aunts house phone number on 1 of them. She has to be the one to pursue them and she always says she is but she never does anything about it. She already rec. the fraud papers but has yet to send them in.

    When they went to mediation my hubby still had to pay his part plus he has all these lawyer fees, plus not getting CS!! If the roles were reversed this wouldnt even be a question. They wouldnt have even given the man a break.
    Plus we are paying for all doctor visits. That was in the original papers that he was not responsible for. The mother was!!!

    Thanks, Merry Christmas!!!
    wait until he gets full custody, sounds like since she is unemployed he wont be able to collect anyway

    Comment


    • #3
      Well just because she dont have a job doesnt mean he wont get anything. They have a minimum amount for her to have to pay. You might not be able to get it from her but at least he is showing that he tried. We dont want our family to go without anything. If they want something we want to be able to get it.
      So are you saying you dont think the judge will look bad on him for waiting so long to request it?

      Comment


      • #4
        Take what you can get.

        Number ONE. GET CUSTODY!!!!! I didn't and I had an agreement with my ex to have my daughter live in my house for school when she got to 7th grade, well, of course that didn't happen and now she has turned my daughter against me because she got involved with her ex-husband - remarried three years after my daughter was born and his mothers church, they refer to Henderson Nevada as Sin City because we neighbor Las Vegas, my daughter told me "I don't want to compromise my christian lifestyle." Tell me those are the words of an eleven year old thinking for herself.

        Don't worry about child support untill you have LEGAL Custody. Be happy if you win that one.

        Comment


        • #5
          Oh he has temporary custody until the final hearing. They already went to court and he won that. I have another thread started sorta about it...

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Michelle523 View Post
            Well just because she dont have a job doesnt mean he wont get anything. They have a minimum amount for her to have to pay. You might not be able to get it from her but at least he is showing that he tried. We dont want our family to go without anything. If they want something we want to be able to get it.
            So are you saying you dont think the judge will look bad on him for waiting so long to request it?
            if she doesnt have funds where r the funds going to come from??it will just be an arrears if there is a minimum, the judge only entered temp custody order without child support, if he wins permanent custody then go, the judge wont look bad on a person asking for child support after he makes sure permanent custody is in place. merry xmas

            Comment


            • #7
              A few things here... You mention both the holidays and lawyers fees, and how your husband is strapped for cash because there is no CS. However, CS is NEVER meant to pay for EITHER of these things. CS is the money intended to raise the child, not for presents or or pay your bills. You choose to buy presents and you choose to retain a lawyer, and since they are not NECESSITIES, they are not covered by CS. That money should come strictly from your own income. The mother needs to purchase her OWN holiday gifts, and she needs to pay for her own attorney. She shouldn't be paying for your things. You cannot argue that you need the cash because it's a hard time of year. If the holidays or lawyer's fees are hitting your wallet too hard, reduce your spending or get another job. No judge will enter an order for CS because it's the holiday season or your lawyer needs to be paid.

              As far as the judge not ordering CS because you "didn't need it before," again, it's not about YOUR needs, it's about the child's needs. So no, CS won't be denied just because your husband waited to ask for it. It might be denied, however, if you ask for it because it's the holidays.

              Comment


              • #8
                DUH, I know that those are not covered by CS. I'm, not stupid. What I am saying is that we pay for all those necessities that a child needs, Me and my check and my husbands check. But I guess that shouldnt matter that her mother took 8 months of child support that my hubby paid her and spent it all on herself and her drug problem, and he had his daughter with him that entire time. All I was saying is that we needed help for those needs. I dont take all our money and say ok this dollar goes to this need and this goes to this, they are all tied together. If a mother was on here stating that the father doesnt work, or take care of his daughter you all would be degrading him so until you know this whole story, I think you can keep the insults to yourself or at least ask more questions to get the whole truth. All I wanted to know was should he try and get CS before they go back to court for a custody issue.

                I dont think by you saying get another job was appropriate at all!!! You dont know me or my life. There are a few other posters on here who do and they will tell you I work very hard and I take care of my stepdaughter like she is my own. I think a woman should take care of her daughter and if a father isnt, there is no such thing as not paying CS. It is automatically taken out his check. So why should this situation be any different. Everytime a non custodial parent comes on here and says the mother spends my CS on herself, everyone goes nuts on them. They say however she spends her money is not their business as long as the child has a roof over their head. Well same situation, we supply all that, but why should he do it all, it's her child too and SHE IS NOT HELPING RAISE HER CHILD!!!!!

                My husband is not asking for CS because of the holidays he is asking because why should he do it himself. He paid her child support her whole entire life plus 8 add'l months while he had her in our home.

                I didnt say we didnt get CS because we didnt need it, the lawyer didnt persue it and the mother signed temp custody over to him so the lawyer said to let her get on her feet and then ask for it later on down the road.

                And as far as where will the money come from, fine if it goes into arrears, she will have to pay. She will get a job eventually. She wont be able to keep living from house to house for free forever.

                HE WANTS CS TO HELP RAISE HIS CHILD!!

                You 2 have looked way to deep into something you dont even have a clue about!!! I think you should find out the facts first.

                Comment


                • #9
                  "And as far as where will the money come from, fine if it goes into arrears, she will have to pay. She will get a job eventually. She wont be able to keep living from house to house for free forever.
                  HE WANTS CS TO HELP RAISE HIS CHILD!!
                  You 2 have looked way to deep into something you dont even have a clue about!!! I think you should find out the facts first."

                  seems like u have alot of anger against this women that gave your husband temporary custody so she can get on her feet. im just speaking the truth...no income....no support....whether you have an order or not.....it will go in arrears.....if you are granted an order....its temp custody right now......anyway how deep are you in this woman's business that you know she doesn't have a driver's license and is living from house to house.....wow you must hate her......

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Child Support

                    1. If your husband is unable to afford supporting his child there are public Welfare systems in most places to assist, AND THEY will go after the ex, you don't need to be involved at all.

                    2. Even if your husband does not qualify for Welfare, the Federal Government will give him food stamps to feed his child, it only requires truth in declarations and asking.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by tenant&landlord View Post
                      "And as far as where will the money come from, fine if it goes into arrears, she will have to pay. She will get a job eventually. She wont be able to keep living from house to house for free forever.
                      HE WANTS CS TO HELP RAISE HIS CHILD!!
                      You 2 have looked way to deep into something you dont even have a clue about!!! I think you should find out the facts first."

                      seems like u have alot of anger against this women that gave your husband temporary custody so she can get on her feet. im just speaking the truth...no income....no support....whether you have an order or not.....it will go in arrears.....if you are granted an order....its temp custody right now......anyway how deep are you in this woman's business that you know she doesn't have a driver's license and is living from house to house.....wow you must hate her......

                      Actually her parents talk with us about it all. They want their daughter to change and the reason we know is because she cant come pick her daughter up cause she dont have a license. She is always having to find someone to pick her up and lots of the time we have to go get her cause she doesnt have one or a car. Her sisters are my friends and they tell us where she is living. I dont hate her at all, I believe she should act like a mother. Me and her use to talk all the time. Even though she always told me lies I still would be friends with her cause she is a mother, my stepdaughters mother.

                      She may have gave my hubby temp custody but it has been 9 months a no change. I think that is more than plenty of time to get on your feet.

                      They already went to court and he has temp custody now.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        OK, here are some of the things you actually said in your origianal post:

                        "It's getting to a point to where my husband needs CS especially since the Holidays are passing."

                        "We heard that the judge could look at him not asking for CS (the last time he went to court) 2 ways at the final hearing..
                        1) if you didnt need or ask for it then, then why do you need it now.."

                        "My hubby has paid all his CS and with her keeping 6 months worth of CS checks that should rid him of any arrearages he may have had."

                        "When they went to mediation my hubby still had to pay his part plus he has all these lawyer fees, plus not getting CS!!"


                        You never mentioned anything about her using that money for a drug problem, then become angry with those of us who responded to you as if we should have known all along. And you mention paying the lawyer AND the holidays in the same sentences as child support. Certainly you can understand that it LOOKS as if you are searching for CS to help with bills, which, as I said, a judge will say "no" to. If you have actual PROOF that she used CS for drugs, take it to your attorney. But if you don't, you cannot use that as an argument for why she is a bad mother. You must be able to PROVE things in court.

                        Saying that you need another job is no reflection on who you are... it's an obersavation from someone completely outside of the situation (just like a judge) reacting to your statements that money was tight. When money is tight, you do one of the two things I suggested: cut back on spending or get another job. That's just common sense. It applies more to your husband than to you anyway, since we are talking about supporting his child.

                        Of course a woman should take care of her child. But don't think for one second that money is just automatically taken from the man when the roles are reveresed. It's a long hard process no matter which side you fall on.

                        As far as the insults, I honestly am sorry if I somehow insulted you, but frankly, I don't see how I possibly did, other than saying things you didn't agree with.

                        This is pretty commonplace on these forums... someone asks for advice, then attacks the people who give advice if it is not super-duper ultra supportive. If you really "think you should find out the facts first" before we respond, then please put them in your entire post.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Trust me we will be able to prove it in court. We have proof. Her mom and sisters tell us . Its not a secret and she knows she has a problem. The reason I didnt say anything about drugs is because I know people make accusations on here about stuff that are just guesses and are unsure of. I am not unsure and I wanted everyone to give advice based on what I was stating and asking from you. I dont like to throw drugs around because that is a serious thing. I am not like that. When someone has a problem thats serious to me. I feel bad for them.

                          I understand you guys are responding to what you have been given, but I work hard everyday to take care of her and I felt like I was being attacked when I feel like what I am doing by taking care of this lil girl was the right thing to do. You could say that it was a blow to my self esteem. I just wish you would have asked me to make sure I worded it right or you read it right before attacking me. We are not asking for CS to pay our lawyers fees, we are asking because she should be helping. Even if the mother was giving us diapers or wipes or helping with DR. fees we wouldnt even be going through this. She does absolutely nothing for her daughter. I have taken her to the appts and paid the copays and deductibles out of my money. Thats all I am saying!!!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            As far as getting custody, you need to be able to prove that she is unfit. If you want to use her drug use as a reason for her being unfit, then you need actual PROOF that his CS went from his hand to her hand to her drug dealer's hand while her child went without food/shelter/necessities. Unfortunately, her family telling you so isn't good enough. That said, it doesn't mean your husband can't get custody.

                            BUT, assuming he does in fact get custody, you should certainly ask for CS. However, don't expect it. Not that she won't be ordered to pay it, because she will. But like we said: no job, no CS. Collecting can be a long and tedious process, especially when the other party is uncooperative. So even when she is ordered to pay it, and even if she is ordered to pay BACK support for these months when your husband has had temporary custody without any support, it could take a very LONG TIME before he actually sees any of that money. That means you can expect to be strapped for cash for quite some time.

                            On a more positive note, remember this: just because the courts say you are a "stepmother" and not her "mother," don't think for one second that you are not. The law does tend to favor the bio-mom, but you obvioulsy have a vested interest in this child. She will always know this as long as you continue being a part of her life in the same capacity as you are now. The court might not call her your daughter, but she is in your heart. So remember that every time you are having a hard time balancing the checkbook: her bio-mom might have probems, but at least your daughter does have a mom who loves and sacrafices for her.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Michelle523 View Post
                              Trust me we will be able to prove it in court. We have proof. Her mom and sisters tell us . Its not a secret and she knows she has a problem. The reason I didnt say anything about drugs is because I know people make accusations on here about stuff that are just guesses and are unsure of. I am not unsure and I wanted everyone to give advice based on what I was stating and asking from you. I dont like to throw drugs around because that is a serious thing. I am not like that. When someone has a problem thats serious to me. I feel bad for them.

                              I understand you guys are responding to what you have been given, but I work hard everyday to take care of her and I felt like I was being attacked when I feel like what I am doing by taking care of this lil girl was the right thing to do. You could say that it was a blow to my self esteem. I just wish you would have asked me to make sure I worded it right or you read it right before attacking me. We are not asking for CS to pay our lawyers fees, we are asking because she should be helping. Even if the mother was giving us diapers or wipes or helping with DR. fees we wouldnt even be going through this. She does absolutely nothing for her daughter. I have taken her to the appts and paid the copays and deductibles out of my money. Thats all I am saying!!!
                              again, not attacking you.....you did the right thing by taking care of the child just know dont waste your time stressin on what the mom is doing....you'll kill yourself worrying about cs that you may never get.....you have the child...sounds like you will get full custody....you will and your husband will have to do it all, now she's yours do what you have to...to maintain your family

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