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Help quickly please- alabama Tennessee

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  • Help quickly please- alabama Tennessee

    I need your help. My daughters grandparents called today and everything was fine with my daughter not going there for the holidays if she didn't want to. She is very stressed over the fact that she would have to see her bio mom and it is causing her diabetes to have severe complications. Bio mom hasn't had any contact in over 5 months anyways. Now it seems mom is having a fit that she may not be coming (she has to have supervised at the grandparents house)- mind u she could care less the rest of the time. Has seen her maybe 3 times in the past year and hasn't paid cs in 9 years.
    Grandparents are fine with her not coming. What do I do???? Do I send her and force her to see mom knowing it could send her into a diabetic coma or do i allow her to stay home even though she does have ordered visitation at the grandparents house during that time. We are in TN and the order is out of alabama. Our AL lawyer is not returning my calls.
    Also, if bio mom shows up here can i refuse her visitation since she has to be supervised in grandparents house and she has to give 48 hours notice (not that she's ever used it)

  • #2
    does the court order state that your daughter has visitation time with the grandparents or the bio mom?

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    • #3
      bio mom supervised in the grandparents home

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      • #4
        Being that the mother hasn't paid CS in 9 yrs. I would think that you could go to court and have the visitation modified. However with the holidays so close that's probably not going to happen in time. Maybe grandparents can help convince mom to allow daughter to stay with you because of her health at this time...it might buy you some time to get in touch with your lawyer and get back to court. Sorry if that's not much help, but good luck!

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        • #5
          she was bound and determined that she wasn't going, wasn't seeing her mom, etc and then her grandparents called again and made her feel bad and now she wants to go, but not see her mom. they told her she needed to tell her mom she didn't want to see her- now what 11 year old is going to do that?!? So, she sat down and wrote her a letter but her mom hasn't ever cared about her wants before and i doubt she'll start now.
          I don't know what to do. It infuriates me that this woman can waltz in and out of her life and not take any responsibility and i am the one to pick up the pieces when my daughter crashes again. Plus, now we will be set back at least another 4 months on the tpr/adoption if she has any contact with her. It's like she waits until right before the magic day and pops up for a phone call and we all have to recover again.
          sorry- just venting, bad day. any suggestions?

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          • #6
            My suggestion is to speak to your daughter's pediatrician and ask if they would write a statement regarding your daughter's current health status. I would ask them if the thought whether or not they believe it would be in your daughter's best interest to endure such a stressful situation. They may be willing to intervene in this way if she is really having a glucose control issue right now. Stress can send her sugar through the roof (I know you know this already) in an unavoidable and unpredictable way. If she is a "fragile diabetic" already, the doctor should have no problem with this.

            Speak to your attorney about this and find out exactly the worst case scenario if you do not make her go for the visitation.

            No judge is going to side with someone like her mother over your child's welfare and health.

            Good luck.
            Last edited by Ohio "Step" Mom; 12-12-2006, 06:53 PM.
            Don't listen to a word I say because ya know I've gotta be crazy to be a Brown's fan.

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            • #7
              I have already sent an email to her diabetes Dr- I am calling our atty in AL again tom and asking him if we can get some kind of emergency order based on the Dr recommendation and the fact that I found out that grandparents are letting mom take our daughter off alone unsupervised- direct violation of court order

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              • #8
                maybe request for emergency order stating that supervised visitation means bio mother comes to you? If grandparents want time they can come to you too or set up their own visitation.

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                • #9
                  does the fact that the last time she was there the grandparents allowed bio mom to take her off on approx 5 different occassions in direct violation of the court order which says supervised in the grandparents home help us any?

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                  • #10
                    What the gparents are doing is a violation and would definitely make a difference to the court.

                    In my experience (though aided by county caseworkers who discovered the unsupervised time with the mother), the court immediately revoked my step daughter's grandmother's temporary custody in an ex parte hearing because she was doing the same thing. When we went to the full hearing on the matter, the court considered filing charges of child endangerment on the grandmother for doing it. When she said that she would not fight to regain her status, they dropped the charges.

                    This is a major factor in your case. Do not hesitate to use this information and if you have evidence of this, definitely present it along with the physicians statement.
                    Don't listen to a word I say because ya know I've gotta be crazy to be a Brown's fan.

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