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What do I do next? Its almost Christmas and I want to see them too!-- North Dakota

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  • What do I do next? Its almost Christmas and I want to see them too!-- North Dakota

    So we had to have our parenting plans to the courts by the 24th of November. Its almost Christmas time. I put a request in my parenting plan asking that I have the girls for the bulk of their christmas break since my ex has had them every holiday, and due to his not allowing me to see them in the begining of the year I have only seen them 40 days so far this year.

    I am not sure what to do. Are we suppose to wait to see if or what the judge will do? (it is a judicial referee) Is there anything I can do to get an answer about the christmas break?

  • #2
    Please bear in mind that a parenting plan is for the rest of the minor child(rens) remaining "minor" years. You are in negotiation for future holidays. You cannot make up for lost time, only assist in planning for all of the future ones.

    If you truly want the Christmas break, you can support your position for this one only, but not all future Christmas breaks by citing the earlier holidays lost. The judge may view this as "payback" against the other parent rather than a good-faith bargaining for a permanent schedule if you try to go that route.

    You may wish to try to include a "time lost" clause for future holidays. Something like "IF for any reason other than a documented illness, a regularly scheduled holiday is missed, the next holiday that would normally be spent with the other parent shall be forfeited to the parent who lost the prior holiday." This may prevent any game playing on behalf of the other parent.

    I realize you want a guarantee but there are none of those when dealing with visitations and the other parent. Good Luck.
    Last edited by Ohio "Step" Mom; 12-12-2006, 06:03 AM.
    Don't listen to a word I say because ya know I've gotta be crazy to be a Brown's fan.

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    • #3
      My ex wife witheld my children from me, and I was awarded extra holiday visitation/custody. Bring up the omissions, and ask the judge to make a fair decision for the time lost.

      This is a hard time in your life, but it will pass. Just remember that this is not about you or your ex any more. It is about what is best for the children.

      Been there, and learned that.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Ohio "Step" Mom View Post
        Please bear in mind that a parenting plan is for the rest of the minor child(rens) remaining "minor" years. You are in negotiation for future holidays. You cannot make up for lost time, only assist in planning for all of the future ones.

        If you truly want the Christmas break, you can support your position for this one only, but not all future Christmas breaks by citing the earlier holidays lost. The judge may view this as "payback" against the other parent rather than a good-faith bargaining for a permanent schedule if you try to go that route.

        You may wish to try to include a "time lost" clause for future holidays. Something like "IF for any reason other than a documented illness, a regularly scheduled holiday is missed, the next holiday that would normally be spent with the other parent shall be forfeited to the parent who lost the prior holiday." This may prevent any game playing on behalf of the other parent.

        I realize you want a guarantee but there are none of those when dealing with visitations and the other parent. Good Luck.
        The part about this christmas was put as a this time only. My question is what do I do now? Do I call the court and ask for a hearing, or sit and hope that the judicial referee sends something out or does something before christmas?

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        • #5
          I called the clerk of courts. I asked if there has been any activity with our file, anything added, anything new. She said there was something filed yesterday 12/11/06 and that it was also mailed to the parties. I didn't want to be annoying so I didn't ask her to look it up, so hopefully I will find out some good news tomorrow.

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