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unmarried mom in florida Florida

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  • unmarried mom in florida Florida

    I have a 5 month old son. I have tried to make things work with the father but it has been a really hard road. He was very against me having the baby and intially wanted nothing to do with it. It was very ugly thanks to his anger management issues. About two weeks before my son was born, the father did a 180 and started doing everything right. He agreed to sign the birth certificate and acknowledgement of paternity. I live in a condo my mother owns so I do not pay rent. I am a full time student and she covers my expenses for the time being until I graduate so that I can be home with my son and not working. He lives with his parents. Anyways, things have gotten worse since he dropped out of his classes and refuses to get a job. My mother has put over $3000 towards the baby, his family has put in less than $500. When he didn't want anything to do with the baby I told him I wouldn't file for cs. Now that the relationship is over and he wants visitation, I think he should be paying something. I'm scared to give him less than equal visitation, which he does NOT deserve, because I think he will make it ugly and not let me have him back. What are my rights as the mother, even though he acknowledged paternity? Do I have to give him visitation?

  • #2
    Not until there is a court order telling you that you have to. You need to file for CS and let him worry about filing for visitation.
    HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
    How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
    (unique up on him)
    How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
    (same way)

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    • #3
      also, of I DO give him a few days with the baby and he doesn't want to give him back, can the police get him back for me?

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      • #4
        Okay so this is what you do... file for child support and also file for a restraining order... you can even go as far as filing for visitation stating that he can only have monitored visits for a certian number of hours each week because of the possibility of him not returning the child... in order for the police to make him return the child to you, you have to have the restraining order and visitation order and support order filed in court... if none of the documents have been filed in court and he takes the child and refuses to give him back you will have to sue him and that can be costly and ugly... so go to the court, use the self help office, legal aide and even the department of public social services to get the papers filed before you let him take your child anywhere... and make sure you have the visitation set up to be monitored by someone you trust, like your mother... good luck

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        • #5
          thank you...that was an incredibly big help. a little intimidating...but very helpful, lol.

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          • #6
            Well, that won't work. If you get a restraining order, then he can't be anywhere near you. If he does, he gets to go to jail.

            All you have to do is allow him to see the baby in your presence (you did say you did not want to deny him visitation) until there is a court order for custody/visitation.
            HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
            How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
            (unique up on him)
            How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
            (same way)

            Comment


            • #7
              so basically, i can deny him visitation without worrying about cops coming to take the baby away as long as he hasn't filed for visitation yet? how long does it usually take between filing for it to the court date?

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              • #8
                Nobody is going to take the baby because you deny visitation when visitation is not court ordered. For that matter, the cops will not take the baby if visitation is ordered. He would have to file for contempt and the court would handle the matter.

                How long it takes varies on how contentious and conflicting the parties' cases for visitation/custody are. It can take anywhere from a few weeks (if you are both in agreement and simply submit a visitation agreement to the judge for a signature) to years. (I was in court for 4 years).

                To ease your mind...until there is a court order for custody/visitation, he has absolutely no rights and there is absolutely nothing he can do (or threaten you with) to force you to allow him to see the child. Until there is a court order, it solely in your discretion whether or not to allow visitation. (and that includes the time between the filing date and the date of the court order)
                HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
                How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
                (unique up on him)
                How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
                (same way)

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by MissyGarner View Post
                  Okay so this is what you do... file for child support and also file for a restraining order... you can even go as far as filing for visitation stating that he can only have monitored visits for a certian number of hours each week because of the possibility of him not returning the child... in order for the police to make him return the child to you, you have to have the restraining order and visitation order and support order filed in court... if none of the documents have been filed in court and he takes the child and refuses to give him back you will have to sue him and that can be costly and ugly... so go to the court, use the self help office, legal aide and even the department of public social services to get the papers filed before you let him take your child anywhere... and make sure you have the visitation set up to be monitored by someone you trust, like your mother... good luck
                  Yes, OP needs to file for CS, but a restraining order can only be issued IF she can PROVE that he is has harmed her or has threatened to harm her.

                  Supervised visitation works the same way, a CP cannot just ask and have it ordered, there has to be proof that the NCP is a dnger to the child.

                  Until paternity is legally established he does NOT have the right to keep the child- the police will return the child to her if he tries to keep the child without having a court order.

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                  • #10
                    Xena, paternity was legally established. However, there is no order for custody/visitation.
                    HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
                    How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
                    (unique up on him)
                    How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
                    (same way)

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by mommyof4 View Post
                      Xena, paternity was legally established. However, there is no order for custody/visitation.
                      Thanks, I didn't realize that. As everyone has said tho, until there is a court order for visitation, the OP can set the rules herself.

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