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Mom vanished, now I owe $23,000 Florida

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  • Mom vanished, now I owe $23,000 Florida

    SORRY THIS IS LONG...IT IS UNUSUAL AND POSSIBLY WORTH THE READ!
    When my son was 1 yr old his mother (my ex wife) requested her new hubby be allowed to adopt him. I was young stupid and destitute, still it was not an easy decision but for the good of the boy I agreed. The new father was a good man, I knew him. That was 1989/90. 6 years ago she divorced the other guy, moved home to Fla and told the state I owed her money. They contacted me in Va...."$50,000 please". I have since moved back to Fla myself (this is where we were divorced, never lived in Va while married). The boy is 18, Fla is trying to collect $23,000 for the state of Virginia. NOTE: unfortunately I do NOT have the original papers of adoption, which read, I might add, "once signed you have know RIGHTS or responsibilities" to paraphrase, "do not contact them in anyway or you're screwed" I have the divorce papers. No where does it say she can run off with the boy and come back later. She has had contact with members of my family his entire life under the guise that he was adopted.

  • #2
    Originally posted by CableGuy View Post
    SORRY THIS IS LONG...IT IS UNUSUAL AND POSSIBLY WORTH THE READ!
    When my son was 1 yr old his mother (my ex wife) requested her new hubby be allowed to adopt him. I was young stupid and destitute, still it was not an easy decision but for the good of the boy I agreed. The new father was a good man, I knew him. That was 1989/90. 6 years ago she divorced the other guy, moved home to Fla and told the state I owed her money. They contacted me in Va...."$50,000 please". I have since moved back to Fla myself (this is where we were divorced, never lived in Va while married). The boy is 18, Fla is trying to collect $23,000 for the state of Virginia. NOTE: unfortunately I do NOT have the original papers of adoption, which read, I might add, "once signed you have know RIGHTS or responsibilities" to paraphrase, "do not contact them in anyway or you're screwed" I have the divorce papers. No where does it say she can run off with the boy and come back later. She has had contact with members of my family his entire life under the guise that he was adopted.

    Mommyof4 may be able to answer where you can get a copy of the TPR (Termination of Parental Rights) papers from the court it was filed in. If he was indeed adopted, then you won't owe any money past the date the adoption went through, if the adoption was never followed through with, you may have a few more problems to deal with.

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    • #3
      That's what I am afraid of. I have been paying support since 2000. It's the back support that suddenly turned up when she did that is killing me. Can't buy a house, car, etc. The bizarre thing is the way Va. has been thrown into the mix. I was living there in 2000 at time of her 1st contact but moved back to Fla. 1 yr later yet the support order still comes from and goes thru Va. I think it may have to do with the amount of years the 2 states go back in arrears. She still resides in Fla. always has.

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      • #4
        Which state was the TPR done in? VA or FL? I couldn't tell from your post.
        HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
        How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
        (unique up on him)
        How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
        (same way)

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        • #5
          Originally posted by mommyof4 View Post
          Which state was the TPR done in? VA or FL? I couldn't tell from your post.
          I'm sorry, TPR? Trying to decipher. Parental rights? Everything except the re-instatement of support in 2000 was done in Fla. i.e., Divorce, (ah, Termination of Parental Rights...got it. LOL) TPR, original support order ( it was about 1.5 yrs from birth to TPR) I was living in Va when she got divorced and came after me with the revelation that David had never been adopted and I owed all of this money. in 2002 I moved back to Fla yet support STILL goes thru Va. At no time did she and I EVER occupy Va together.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by CableGuy View Post
            SORRY THIS IS LONG...IT IS UNUSUAL AND POSSIBLY WORTH THE READ!
            When my son was 1 yr old his mother (my ex wife) requested her new hubby be allowed to adopt him. I was young stupid and destitute, still it was not an easy decision but for the good of the boy I agreed. The new father was a good man, I knew him. That was 1989/90. 6 years ago she divorced the other guy, moved home to Fla and told the state I owed her money. They contacted me in Va...."$50,000 please". I have since moved back to Fla myself (this is where we were divorced, never lived in Va while married). The boy is 18, Fla is trying to collect $23,000 for the state of Virginia. NOTE: unfortunately I do NOT have the original papers of adoption, which read, I might add, "once signed you have know RIGHTS or responsibilities" to paraphrase, "do not contact them in anyway or you're screwed" I have the divorce papers. No where does it say she can run off with the boy and come back later. She has had contact with members of my family his entire life under the guise that he was adopted.
            You need an attorney to get this figured out. You may or may not actually owe the CS, alot of it will depend on what the exact wording of the TPR order is. If it does state that as of that date you no longer had any responsibilities then the only CS owed would be any arrears that accrued before the TPR date. Even if the adoption never occured as long as that order specifies no responsibility (meaning no CS) it won't matter.

            You can try contacting Legal Aid, they usually don't take CS cases but yours might not be classified as such so give them a try. You can get a 30 minute consult for $25 by calling the Fl Bar Lawyer Referral Service at 1-800-342-8011. Before you go to the consult you need to go to the courthouse and read over your entire file. Anything that you might need you can get a copy of (the cost is generally $1 per page).

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            • #7
              Thank you. For one thing, thanks for being nice. i have posed this question in the past (on another site) and felt as though it were my ex's friends or something ! I got belittled, yelled at and cursed.
              About the papers, I have tried to find a record of it through the county but was told that since she didn't file it (proceed with the adoption) there isn't any. But perhaps I did not dig enough...?
              I will call that #, thanks again.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by CableGuy View Post
                Thank you. For one thing, thanks for being nice. i have posed this question in the past (on another site) and felt as though it were my ex's friends or something ! I got belittled, yelled at and cursed.
                About the papers, I have tried to find a record of it through the county but was told that since she didn't file it (proceed with the adoption) there isn't any. But perhaps I did not dig enough...?
                I will call that #, thanks again.
                Quite often the actual adoption papers are sealed and not public record. For now the most important paper for you to get is the court order that terminated your parental rights. That should be in your case file and is public record. You need to look through every file in the case and id there were ever seperate cases with different case numbers you'll need to track down all the files.

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                • #9
                  Very good. Thanks again. I will get started w/that advice asap. Seems you monitor this site. I will be returning soon I am sure.
                  God bless you all
                  Have a wonderful 'Day of the Turkey'

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