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  • crazy punishments and orders

    How is it that a judge can base a child support order on what a person is capable of making rather than what they are making? The area that i live in is quite large but has very few job opportunitties. So at that time I was working approx. 60 miles from home(one way). I eventually had to quit my job due to gas prices going so high. My ex-wife has remarried and i have a fiance and a new daughter. when the judge set the order i was making 8.50 an hour, and he set the order for 394.00 dollars a month. i understand helping raise my children, but that was 2 1/2 years ago. I went back in front of the judge after I changed to a closer job where i was a bartender and started out at 4.50 an hour. when i requested a change in the ammount of support the judge said there was no reason for a modification. i realize I made more money at the prior job but i do not have a lisence, so my fiancee most of the time had to take me to work then come pick me up.sometimes i was able to meet others somewhere but for the most part it was to hard. but i went from making approx. 1100.00 after taxes to making approx. 575.00 after taxes a month. so i can't afford to pay it. I go to court tommorrow to find out if Im going to jail for faliure to pay. I guess my frustration is how can the courts overlook my new family just to accomidate her new family. If I go to jail for the next year that leaves my fiancee and 1 year old daughter to fend for themselves. how is that an adequate punishment. Not to mention the fact that when i go to jail being 6000 dollars behind, when i get out in a year Ill be 10000 dollars behind. Also i have not seen my two boys Dakota and Scott since april of this year. their mother doesn't want them around their sister because my daughter is not their sister she says. All i ever hear out of the court is whats best for the children, but since i cannot even afford an attorney i get walked on. I have court ordered visitation but haven't seen my children in 7 months. We have been divorced for 2 1/2 years I'm supposed to have our children every other weekend and every wed. I have seen them a total of 20 days in the last 2 1/2 years but when we went back to court all they did to her was told her to start letting me see the kids. i saw them one evening for 3 hours and haven't seen them since. I have went as far as to ask Joann Emerson for help and need as much feedback as possible. all feedback please positive or negative, because i will be taking this feedback to Mrs. Emerson and the media so hopefully it will be seen that this is one area were the system needs drastic improvements.
    Last edited by geerdl; 11-19-2006, 11:36 AM. Reason: changing title so people know my purpose for this

  • #2
    I know it is frustrating on the visitation part, but you need to keep filing charges of contempt against her. By the 3rd time, they may fine her or put her in jail or give you custody. As for the pay, bar tending assumes tips, so they may not see it as a drop in pay at all.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by geerdl View Post
      How is it that a judge can base a child support order on what a person is capable of making rather than what they are making? The area that i live in is quite large but has very few job opportunitties. So at that time I was working approx. 60 miles from home(one way). I eventually had to quit my job due to gas prices going so high. My ex-wife has remarried and i have a fiance and a new daughter. when the judge set the order i was making 8.50 an hour, and he set the order for 394.00 dollars a month. i understand helping raise my children, but that was 2 1/2 years ago. I went back in front of the judge after I changed to a closer job where i was a bartender and started out at 4.50 an hour. when i requested a change in the ammount of support the judge said there was no reason for a modification. i realize I made more money at the prior job but i do not have a lisence, so my fiancee most of the time had to take me to work then come pick me up.sometimes i was able to meet others somewhere but for the most part it was to hard. but i went from making approx. 1100.00 after taxes to making approx. 575.00 after taxes a month. so i can't afford to pay it. I go to court tommorrow to find out if Im going to jail for faliure to pay. I guess my frustration is how can the courts overlook my new family just to accomidate her new family. If I go to jail for the next year that leaves my fiancee and 1 year old daughter to fend for themselves. how is that an adequate punishment. Not to mention the fact that when i go to jail being 6000 dollars behind, when i get out in a year Ill be 10000 dollars behind. Also i have not seen my two boys Dakota and Scott since april of this year. their mother doesn't want them around their sister because my daughter is not their sister she says. All i ever hear out of the court is whats best for the children, but since i cannot even afford an attorney i get walked on. I have court ordered visitation but haven't seen my children in 7 months. We have been divorced for 2 1/2 years I'm supposed to have our children every other weekend and every wed. I have seen them a total of 20 days in the last 2 1/2 years but when we went back to court all they did to her was told her to start letting me see the kids. i saw them one evening for 3 hours and haven't seen them since. I have went as far as to ask Joann Emerson for help and need as much feedback as possible. all feedback please positive or negative, because i will be taking this feedback to Mrs. Emerson and the media so hopefully it will be seen that this is one area were the system needs drastic improvements.
      I understand your frustration but you don't understand something- the courts do not have to care about your new family. I know it's harsh, but the legal thought is that your first children come first, and that if you can't afford to support your older children AND your younger children you shouldn't have more children. Sorry, but that's the way it works. Second, the court is NOT in any way accomidating her new family either, the court is accomidating YOUR older childrens' rights to be supported by you.
      I'm not trying to be mean, but I am trying to educate you on that point before you go into court. If you make the mistake of voicing that sentiment in court- I guarantee that the Judge will blast you and it MIGHT make the Judge put you in jail just to "put you in your place".

      When you go into court take all documents with you showing that you did file for a modification when your income went down, the reasons that your income went down, proof of ALL your earned income (including tips), money for a "purge" and a set plan for paying arrears. Hopefully the Judge will see that you're trying and just order a purge and payment of arrears.

      Since you have a court order for visitation you'll have to file for contempt against ex EVERY time she denies visits. I know it's maddening that the court acts faster on non payment of CS than they do on visits being denied, but taking her to court again and again will get results eventually.

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      • #4
        How about getting a second job? And since you are making below minimum wage because of the tips, you could just go get a job at Target, Wal_mart, or be a night stocker in a grocery store. My daughter makes $8.70/hr cashiering at Wal-Mart at 19. Your kids still deserve to be supported and you aren't really paying close to what it costs to raise a child. Child care alone for one can be $200-$250 /wk. That's a WEEK.

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