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  • Child Support Question (Long)

    Ok here goes...

    So I got pregnant at 16 by my bf at the time...actually we had been together for a year and a half, broken up and I hadn't seen him for a few months and when I did it happened. Then I didnt see him again til about 6 months into the preg and told him. then about a month b4 my daughter was born he went to jail for 4 yrs or so for selling drugs. i hadn't talked to him from the last time i told him i was preg a few months back. so

    So he gets out maybe sees her a total of 4 times in the entire 8 years. I moved out when i turned 18 after i finished highschool, and I was never on welfare, or section 8 or any of that. I made it bymyself the whoe time. I never tried to obtain support from him because i felt like i should have to force someone to be a man and take care of his responibilities. as a result he never paid a dime and i could really care less. Now here's the kicker,
    i havent talked to this guy in years on top of years and one day a thing apprears on my door sayin he trying to take me to court for joint custody!!! he has an extensive criminal background and even lied about where he lives on the court order thing. i ran a background check and the record is ridiculous ...So i have two questions,

    1. Do you really think they would give him joint custody ?? My daughters 8 now and has no idea who he is

    2. Will they make him pay for all the years he did nothing, or basically say, sure buddy u haven't been around in 8 years but glad u finally made it.

    Currently I am very happy in my relationship I am in and we both have good jobs and now this!!! ARGH!! Always something!!

  • #2
    Originally posted by NeedinHelp View Post
    1. Do you really think they would give him joint custody ?? My daughters 8 now and has no idea who he is

    2. Will they make him pay for all the years he did nothing, or basically say, sure buddy u haven't been around in 8 years but glad u finally made it.

    Currently I am very happy in my relationship I am in and we both have good jobs and now this!!! ARGH!! Always something!!
    They WON'T give him joint custody, not after 8 years. They will give him visitation if he isn't abusive. To start, it would be supervised and not too often and then gradually increase. If he acts up during those visits, that will usually end them and the issue won't be a problem anymore. If he has bettered himself and treats your daughter good, then his visits will become unsupervised and more frequent.

    Absolutely, HE WILL pay for all of those past years.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by demartian View Post
      They WON'T give him joint custody, not after 8 years. They will give him visitation if he isn't abusive. To start, it would be supervised and not too often and then gradually increase. If he acts up during those visits, that will usually end them and the issue won't be a problem anymore. If he has bettered himself and treats your daughter good, then his visits will become unsupervised and more frequent.

      Absolutely, HE WILL pay for all of those past years.
      thanks for the response. i have been hearing different things about that aspect...the 8 years he never paid. some are telling me he will have to pay while others say there was never a court order sooh well. idk who is right here.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by NeedinHelp View Post
        thanks for the response. i have been hearing different things about that aspect...the 8 years he never paid. some are telling me he will have to pay while others say there was never a court order sooh well. idk who is right here.
        Doesn't matter is there wasn't a court order before, file for one now and establish paternity. He will be required to pay for the past years if you request it.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by demartian View Post
          Doesn't matter is there wasn't a court order before, file for one now and establish paternity. He will be required to pay for the past years if you request it.
          i should really talk to my lawyer again then because he is trying to tell me that they will not make him pay for all of the prior years.
          Last edited by NeedinHelp; 11-14-2006, 12:43 PM.

          Comment


          • #6
            What state? As far as the retroactive child support, it makes a HUGE difference in the answer.

            As far as joint custody??? Nope, not gonna' happen. What are all of his convictions for?
            HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
            How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
            (unique up on him)
            How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
            (same way)

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by demartian View Post
              Doesn't matter is there wasn't a court order before, file for one now and establish paternity. He will be required to pay for the past years if you request it.
              Depending on the state, that is probably not true. Most states have statutes regarding retro support and even if a state does allow it the father can easily use the defenses of laches and waiver. If the OP had wanted CS she should have filed years ago, since she was never on any public assistance it's highly unlikely that she'll get the whole 8 yrs of retro, if any at all.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by mommyof4 View Post
                What state? As far as the retroactive child support, it makes a HUGE difference in the answer.

                As far as joint custody??? Nope, not gonna' happen. What are all of his convictions for?
                SALE OF HALLUCINOGEN/NARCOTIC (felony; guilty)

                FAILURE TO APPEAR 1ST DEG, SALE OF CERTAIN ILLEGAL DRUGS (felony, guilty)

                VIOLATION OF PROBATION

                LARCENY 6TH DEG (misdemeanor; found guilty unconditional discharge)

                POSSESSION OF NARCOTICS (felony; found guilty unconditional discharge)

                INTERFERE WITH OFFCR/RESISTING (NOLLE PROSEQUI)

                ILL OPN MV UNDER SUSPENSION (misdemeanor; guilty)

                IMPROPER USE-MARKER/LIC/RGSTR (misdemeanor; nolle prosequi)

                EVADE RESP-PROP DAMAGE/INJURY (misdemeanor; nolle prosequi)

                FAILURE TO APPEAR 2ND DEG

                NONSTDNT-DRuGS NeaR SCHool/HSG/DY CR (nolle prosequi)

                SALE OF HALLUCINOGEN/NARCOTIC (guilty; fine $3,500)

                SALE OF HALLUCIGEN/NARCOTIC 6/16/03...eligible for parole 2/04

                theres more but those are the major ones

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by NeedinHelp View Post
                  SALE OF HALLUCINOGEN/NARCOTIC (felony; guilty)

                  FAILURE TO APPEAR 1ST DEG, SALE OF CERTAIN ILLEGAL DRUGS (felony, guilty)

                  VIOLATION OF PROBATION

                  LARCENY 6TH DEG (misdemeanor; found guilty unconditional discharge)

                  POSSESSION OF NARCOTICS (felony; found guilty unconditional discharge)

                  INTERFERE WITH OFFCR/RESISTING (NOLLE PROSEQUI)

                  ILL OPN MV UNDER SUSPENSION (misdemeanor; guilty)

                  IMPROPER USE-MARKER/LIC/RGSTR (misdemeanor; nolle prosequi)

                  EVADE RESP-PROP DAMAGE/INJURY (misdemeanor; nolle prosequi)

                  FAILURE TO APPEAR 2ND DEG

                  NONSTDNT-DRuGS NeaR SCHool/HSG/DY CR (nolle prosequi)

                  SALE OF HALLUCINOGEN/NARCOTIC (guilty; fine $3,500)

                  SALE OF HALLUCIGEN/NARCOTIC 6/16/03...eligible for parole 2/04

                  theres more but those are the major ones
                  You didn't answer the most relevant question:
                  What state are you and ex in?

                  States have different laws regarding retro support so it's very important to know the name of the state.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by xena View Post
                    You didn't answer the most relevant question:
                    What state are you and ex in?

                    States have different laws regarding retro support so it's very important to know the name of the state.

                    im not really concerned with getting any type of support from him. i would be perfectly fine if he never paid a dime and stayed away, but anywho, we are in Connecticut. Oh, and thank you for your help

                    Comment

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