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Pregnant, violent father threatening to take daughter away when born Ohio

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  • #31
    And

    that's why I said for 'lack of a better term'... that's what they told me...lack of a better term.. And it's California, you're right, everyone disregards everything.

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    • #32
      Originally posted by Ohio "Step" Mom View Post
      he he he

      Ya know, that is just so much easier than the full body block in the hallway!!
      Tell me about it. I work in a Children's Hosp. I am barely 5'. I really don't think I would even try a full body block unless of course I was trying to be intentionally funny.
      Not an expert just stating what I know from experience and or moral standings

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      • #33
        I'm only 5'3" but I work in an ER at night on the weekends. My usual clientele are 10 sheets to the wind and so are the visitors. Makes the body block MUCH easier!

        Did have a birth in the vestibule to the ambulance bay last weekend though!!! (fresh out of the family van, 9th kid so it flopped right on out) That was fun!!!
        Don't listen to a word I say because ya know I've gotta be crazy to be a Brown's fan.

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        • #34
          Originally posted by Ohio "Step" Mom View Post
          I'm only 5'3" but I work in an ER at night on the weekends. My usual clientele are 10 sheets to the wind and so are the visitors. Makes the body block MUCH easier!

          Did have a birth in the vestibule to the ambulance bay last weekend though!!! (fresh out of the family van, 9th kid so it flopped right on out) That was fun!!!
          LOL. Your alright Ohio.
          Not an expert just stating what I know from experience and or moral standings

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          • #35
            Hospital Visitors

            Originally posted by stepmom33 View Post
            No one is permitted to know you are in the hospital not even your parents if you don't want them to. It is your right to privacy. They are not even allowed to tell someone you are their without permission. If they do the hospital and staff can be fined Thousands and Thousands of $$$. Staff can be terminated on the spot and you have the right to sue. Here's the link...
            http://hipaa.ohio.gov/privacyrule/index.htm
            This is true, but even so, make plans to discuss with your doctor and the hospital staff BEFORE the big day that you don't want him there. Write his name (and his mother's name) down for staff and be completely sure they know.

            I was a single mom, and when I had my son, I didn't want his bio-dad there. I was naked, uncomfortable, afraid I was going to poop all over the table (man, childbirth can be gross), and we didn't really get along. I wanted to call him when it was over. But my Mom (who thought she was being helpful) called him, and even though I had mentioned to the staff that I didn't want him there, in the confusion, he got through. I ended up needing a c-section, and they LISTENED when I said I didn't want him in the operating room, but he'd already been sitting there making me feel stressed for 12 hours.

            It never occured to me to sue or anything, because it was an honest mistake and I did not make myself clear, so, make yourself clear! Remember to tell staff that you don't want him allowed in for the entire length of your hospitalization as well! If you have a choice of hospitals, you might want to make some phone calls and find out who has the best security measures.

            As far as taking your baby, ignore this scare tactic. But you do need to decide how much you want this man in your child's life. Remember that cutting him off could come back to bite you in the butt when she is older. You can file to establish paternity, then set up child support and visitation (2 different issues) as soon as she is born or as soon as you feel comfortable. He can also file to establish parentage, but he has to file, then give you 30 days to respond, get a paternity test ordered (which he should have to pay for) and have the results entered into court before visitation is even set up. They cannot just take the baby from you, and no competent lawyer told them this. They are just trying to scare you.

            Don't stress yourself out! In two months you will learn what real sleep depravation is, so for now, relax, eat right, and try to get some sleep! Congratulations!

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            • #36
              Mom of boys

              The HIPAA Law did not come to be until 1996. When did this happen to you. I know exactly what you mean though I had my oldest in 1994. It was a bad situation all the way around. There was a point when I was in labor walking the halls and had to step between my daughters father and my father. It was supposed to be a day for my daughter. The birth of a child is supposed to be special. But everytime I think back to that day It is also flooded with memories of the fighting and arguing etc.

              Miranda4202006 make sure that the memory of your daughters birth is a Happy one.
              Last edited by stepmom33; 11-15-2006, 06:20 AM.
              Not an expert just stating what I know from experience and or moral standings

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              • #37
                Originally posted by stepmom33 View Post
                The HIPAA Law did not come to be until 1996. When did this happen to you. I know exactly what you mean though I had my oldest in 1994. It was a bad situation all the way around. There was a point when I was in labor walking the halls and had to step between my daughters father and my father. It was supposed to be a day for my daughter. The birth of a child is supposed to be special. But everytime I think back to that day It is also flooded with memories of the fighting and arguing etc.

                Miranda4202006 make sure that the memory of your daughters birth is a Happy one.
                My son was born in 2002, and I even remember the staff handing me all the paperwork on HIPPA. But when bio-dad showed up, he said "my girlfriend is having a baby" and gave my name, and before I knew it he was in the room. Man was I irritated, but I was in labor! And two of my sisters were fussing all around me, so he didn't get a chance to get too close.

                The worst part was that after the baby was born, bio-dad refused to sign the birth certificate. My sister made a point to tell the staff that I didn't want him to visit me, but he still got in. I told him to leave and he did (he's not violent, just a jerk), but security wasn't all that tight at the time.

                A positive note, I am now married to a fabulously dorky man (I have a soft spot for geeks because I am one), and we had another baby this past spring at the same hospital. Only now you have to go through two levels of security, hand over your ID and get a visitors badge before you can get to the mother and baby ward. Even though it didn't apply to me this time, I was happy to see that they had made these changes

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                • #38
                  Whoa! Yes, breastmilk can be pumped and stored, but that is part of the mother's body and it doess not always flow on demand, especially when stressed. I do not believe that the courts can force a woman to pump. Breastfeeding is a natural functiuon, pumping is not. Breastfed babies often wil l not take a bottle. (We tried for six weeks before a plane trip and my daughter would not take a bottle). We could not fly. Period. You cannot force an infant child to eat in a way they are not accustomed to accommodate the father. That is not in the best interests of the child. Most states have more limited visitation while a mother is breastfeeding-- forced weaning is illegal and so is foced bottle feeding of breast milk.

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                  • #39
                    Originally posted by LaParole1 View Post
                    Whoa! Yes, breastmilk can be pumped and stored, but that is part of the mother's body and it doess not always flow on demand, especially when stressed. I do not believe that the courts can force a woman to pump. Breastfeeding is a natural functiuon, pumping is not. Breastfed babies often wil l not take a bottle. (We tried for six weeks before a plane trip and my daughter would not take a bottle). We could not fly. Period. You cannot force an infant child to eat in a way they are not accustomed to accommodate the father. That is not in the best interests of the child. Most states have more limited visitation while a mother is breastfeeding-- forced weaning is illegal and so is foced bottle feeding of breast milk.
                    No, it is not illegal. While the mother cannot be forced to pump, she can be forced to allow visitation with the father without her presence. I nursed 4 children. When a baby gets hungry enough, the baby will eat. I know...I've done it with my children, not to mention all of my nieces and nephews. Before you state something is illegal, you better double check. Not ALL states even protect breastfeeding in public.
                    HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
                    How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
                    (unique up on him)
                    How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
                    (same way)

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                    • #40
                      Not too get too off subject, but my infant also refused to take a bottle. Rather than put my entire life on hold in order to feed on demand, I started him on a cup.

                      If the whole "he can't see the baby because I am nursing" argument held any weight, some women would be nursing their kids until they were 7 just to keep them away from their fathers.

                      Like Mommy said, this forum is for advice, but giving false information is counterproductive and wrong. Also, this post is a month old.

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