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Does he have a chance? Tennessee

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  • Does he have a chance? Tennessee



    My fiancé is having a very hard time with his ex and custody. They split up just after their son was born. She filled for child support. Now my fiancé only gets one day a week with his son. She is getting 520 a month. He doesn't care to pay, but he just wants more time with his son. The thing about it is that he waited too long to attempt to appeal for more time. He was served the papers in September, and the lawyers that he talked to said there was nothing they could do. Is this true? Dose he have a chance? I hope and pray there is something we can do, because it kills him and myself to only get his son once a week.

  • #2
    He has not filed for visitation, the child support papers.

    The child just turned 8 months old, he has bonded with the child, but he only gets him on Sundays from 10 to 6, no abuse history.

    In the papers states that after the child turns a year old he can have him every other weekend. But he wants more time with his child. The first year of his life he only gets him 4 days a month. Regardless, he still wants more that every other weekend. He would like to have joint custody.

    If he can not get joint custody, then he would like to have as much time possible.

    His ex also put in the papers that my fiancé is to have no say so in any part of the child’s life. He can't make any decisions about schooling for sports. She doesn’t want him around their son at all; she has no reason for this besides the fact that she is immature.

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    • #3
      I have one last question...Does he have to file for visitation in the county that she filed for child support? Because it would be much more conveant for us if he didn't have to. She lives a hour away from us. By the way thaks for your help.

      Comment


      • #4
        Usually in the state of Tennessee, the parent file a Parenting Plan. THe other parent has a certain amount of time to dispute it. IF your boyfriend did not file a dispute in the correct amount of time then perhaps that is why the lawyer that your boyfriend consulted said that thier was nothing that could be done.
        Your boyfriend can always file a new parenting plan and attempt to get it revised. He will need a lawyer. The process is very time consuming especially if the other party wants to fight it. Also every county has diffrent rules about how custody battles should be handled. Some call for a meeting between the parties, then mediation, and then if it is still not settled then they have to go before a judge.
        The "standard plan" in Tennessee is One parent is the Custodial parent.. the other parent gets every other weekend 6pm friday to 6 pm sunday with 1/2 the holidays, spring break and a few weeks in the summer. It is not uncommon to visitation to gradually increase especially in cases where the parents have never lived together or the child is very young.
        IF your boyfriend wanted to fight it.. it would likely take over a year to settle, make a lot of hard feelings, and the results would be simular to what he has now.
        The best option may be for your boyfriend to discuss with his EX that he would like more time and that if she needs a babysitter or just some time to herself, to please call him first. HE should be nice and explain that he would enjoy spending more time with the child.

        Comment


        • #5
          I think that the EX was not unreasonable and probably did more to benefit the Boyfriend than the OP realizes.
          The Ex filed for child support....it was actually the boyfriend's job to file for visitation. Without filing for visitation the boyfriend (assuming the boyfriend and the Ex were never married) had ZERO rights to visit the child. In Tennessee an unwed mother has FULL Custody of the child unless a court order states otherwise.
          The fact that the EX took it upon herself to file a visitation schedule and gave the boyfriend everyother weekend (once the child turns one) is not that unreasonable. The boyfriend didn't fight the parenting plan in the time frame alotted by the courts. The child is 8 months old...even if he filed a motion right now the chances of it getting changed in 4 months is unlikely. In 4 months when the child is one, the father will get everyother weekend anyway. They have over 4 years to worry about what role the father will have when the child enters school. Fighting over if an 8 month old may or may not play sports and if the father will have a role in his sports activies would probably not be very constructive at this point.
          So my advise...personal not legal... is let things calm down. Let all parties try to "work it out" between individuals before you go to court and spend hundreds if not thousands of dollars on a court battle that will likely not change very much at the current moment.

          Comment


          • #6
            I have to agree with Stuck on this one. If the father was so concerned about his time, he should have shown that by being proactive. He didn't and the mother gave him more than he is entitled to without any action on his part.

            The father and the gf need to take a step back and realize that the mother was actually being better than decent. If they don't think so, they need to read some of the other threads to see what child custody hell truly is. In 4 months, the overnights will be a moot point, so why waste the time and the money? (not to mention REALLY tick the mother off). Please keep in mind that this is a very delicate situation at this point. She has an 8 month old baby and the father has already moved on. The OP also needs to keep in mind that at no time will she ever have any rights other than what the father allows her to have with this child. I am not being mean and attacking her or doubting her intentions. She just needs to be prepared to take a BIG step back.
            Last edited by mommyof4; 11-07-2006, 09:11 AM.
            HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
            How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
            (unique up on him)
            How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
            (same way)

            Comment


            • #7
              But it's too late to file for a NEW order... He would have to file for a modifiction of the current visitation order put in place by the EX... HE would have to present some change in circumstances that warrented a modification to the parenting plan. His feelings or the ex being "immature" are not going to be enough. Enough time has not passed to even show that he is sticking to the current order (after all how old can the order be if the child is just 8 months old?).

              I totally agree that the Boyfriend would have had a good chance of getting more time if he had went to court to dispute the Original order before it was signed by the Judge. But it's just too late to fight it and too soon to modify it.

              Comment


              • #8
                I understand what you are saying. However, in this case there is a parenting plan and he agreed to it. If he didn't like it, he should have done something about it at the time. As it is, it is too soon for any modification of the order and by the time he actually had this heard in court, he would get what he is asking for to begin with. He would (barring any reasons a judge would limit visitation) EOW and Wednesday evenings. (Plus holiday scheduling).

                I am saying that at this point, it is strategically better to let this lie to avoid instigating any hostilities with the mother. If, at any time in the future, visitation is being denied per the order, then he has grounds (and he SHOULD) take this back to court.

                This is why it is important for all parents and parents-to-be to educate themselves on what rights, and responsibilities to secure those rights, they do have. It's the old saying that, "ignorance of the law is not a defense."
                HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
                How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
                (unique up on him)
                How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
                (same way)

                Comment


                • #9
                  Stuck, you beat me.
                  HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
                  How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
                  (unique up on him)
                  How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
                  (same way)

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Ok people I want to clear some things up...SHE left him BEFORE the child was born!!! And as for him already moving on...she had someone else when she left the father. So don’t even try to put all the blame on him. SHE is not being decent; she tries every way possible to hurt the father. Like I stated at the beginning, we are ENGAGED, not just simply boyfriend and girlfriend.

                    He will fight for more time with his son, because he WILL NOT be an every other weekend father. As for them working it out, they have tried and it is impossible. She fusses all the time. That is why they aren't together. They have tried being friends, but it just can’t happen. AND yes he is always on time to get the child, and he has not missed one day. So he has been practicing his time with the child. He doesn’t care if he does tick the mother off. And when she went to court to file for child support they talked about the father getting time with the son, so he did ask for time with the child in the beginning.

                    AND yes I know that I will only get the time that the father will let me have with the child...considering we are to be married in a few months, I will have time with the child.

                    One last thing...if he wants say so in where HIS CHILD goes to school then he should be able to have it to. Sometimes I think the mother is all that matters...but have we forgotten people, without the father there would be no child.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      And just because you chose to be with a man that has alot of baggage and you don't like the answers, that is no reason to get snippy with us.

                      You want the bottom line? Okay. He should have screwed up his courage and filed for visitation when it was being set up. He didn't and now it is too late (or too early, depending on your perspective) to change the outcome. The mother is so horrible that she set up visitation WHEN SHE WAS UNDER NO LEGAL OBLIGATION TO DO SO. If he didn't like it, he should have gotten his head out of his behind and done something about it. But he didn't. That is nobody's fault but his own. If he wants to be more than a weekend father, he needs to realize that actions speak much louder than words. Nobody said he was wrong for wanting more time. We SAID that at this point, it's not worth the fight, money and time as nothing will change before he has more visitaiton.

                      He doesn't care if he upsets the mother? Let me tell you, that is a very bad attitude to start with. If the parents can't find a way to get along (fairly...and he is 50% responsible for any animosity) that creates a horrible environment for his and her child.
                      HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
                      How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
                      (unique up on him)
                      How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
                      (same way)

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I dont want your BOTTOM LINE, who do you think you are anyway? No at this point he doesn't care if he upsets her. What matters is that he WILL NOT fuss with her infront of the child, although she does try to (oh but she is such a nice decent mother). He wont do it. And just so you know...he does not have his head up his hindend...he works all the time to support his child. As for the rest of your comments...I dont have anymore reason to talk with you. I posted my question on this web site for someone to help me out...and let me know what can be done. I DID NOT post on this web site to arrgue with people that have nothing better to do, except sit on their computer and leave smart comments. The first person that I talked with was a DECENT person as you like to say, that gave me some answers; unlike you. So like I said before, I have no reason to talk to you.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          And you recieved your answers. I'm sorry you don't like them, but that's life. If, at any time, she violated the order, he needs to file for contempt. If there is a significant change in the CHILD'S life, he can file for modifcation of the order. Otherwise, the order will stand as written. If you disagree with the answers, feel free to go pay an atty. But, as I recall from your original post, you already did...and they told you the same thing.
                          HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
                          How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
                          (unique up on him)
                          How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
                          (same way)

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by mommyof4 View Post
                            And you recieved your answers. I'm sorry you don't like them, but that's life. If, at any time, she violated the order, he needs to file for contempt. If there is a significant change in the CHILD'S life, he can file for modifcation of the order. Otherwise, the order will stand as written. If you disagree with the answers, feel free to go pay an atty. But, as I recall from your original post, you already did...and they told you the same thing.
                            Nope...we didnt pay for one. We just talked to one.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              So, go pay one. Maybe you'll find one that will take your case.
                              HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
                              How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
                              (unique up on him)
                              How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
                              (same way)

                              Comment

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