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ex planning to fight for custody?? Florida Florida

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  • ex planning to fight for custody?? Florida Florida

    I need some real serious advice please. I have never used this site before, so bare with me please.

    My ex husband and I divorced in September of 2004. He was ordered to carry life insurance in my kids and pay 775/mth in child support. He did so for about 3-4 months, and then he gave me a letter that stated he had resigned from his job and would not be able to make payments until he got a new one. Of course that also meant the insurance was cancelled. Well, he has not willingly paid e child support since then and that was in March of 2004. Child Support enforcement found his employer (in Clearwater, Fl) in August of 2005, they set up the IDO and I received 4 checks, then they stopped because he quit that job as well. He called and wanted to see my kids once in July of 2005 and once in December of 2005. And those are the only 2 times we have heard from him since he stopped willingly paying his Child Supp. He does not call, he does not write. I recently found his wife's myspace page and they are now living in Georgia and I found out where he works and he makes between $1800-2500 per week. He never notified me he was moving or anything. Never gave me his new phone number either. Well, I also found out that he and his wife are apparently planning to fight me for custody of my 3 girls!!! I just was wondering if I have anything to worry about. I feellike maybe the judge will see him as being more financially secure since they have a much much larger income than I do and they have a house and I live in a little apartment. They wouldn't take my girls away from me after I have been the only parent they've known in the past year, would they?? My ex's wife is claiming that I don't let them see the kids and is stating that my ex IS paying his child support and is not behind. Could they possibly have some sort of made up proof? I am worried! Please help.....

  • #2
    Okay. BIIIIG breath in. Hold, hold, hold....and let it out.

    No, you really have nothing to worry about unless the situation is drastically different than what you have posted. He is behind in his child support. Contact CSE and get a prinout of all payments recieved. When you get that print out, if it shows that he is paying it, you need to ask CSE where your money is.

    He has not remained in contact with your children, he moved away with no notice (which, technically, is his right, but he doesn't get to complain when he doesn't see his kids), and he is in arrears.

    OF COURSE he has a better financial picture. He is not paying his share of the support for the children.

    Oh, and did he ever get life insurance for the children? If not, he still is not complying with the child support order.
    HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
    How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
    (unique up on him)
    How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
    (same way)

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    • #3
      Child Support Enforcement was supposed to be serving him papers to come to court around December (so they said) and they were planning on serving them in hte address they had for him in Florida. but before they could even do that I found out he's not in Fl anymore and I found his new address and reported it to them,so now they are trying to track him down and get his address verifeid there. He was supposed to carry medical insurance on the kids, but only did so for about 3-4 months.

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      • #4
        You're fine. While custody/visitation and child support are two seperate issues, he would be a complete moron to try to explain to a judge why he should have custody of the kids after he abandoned them. You have the evidence that you did not know where he was.

        He's going to be hating life when CSE finally gets ahold of him.
        HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
        How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
        (unique up on him)
        How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
        (same way)

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by mommyof4 View Post
          You're fine. While custody/visitation and child support are two seperate issues, he would be a complete moron to try to explain to a judge why he should have custody of the kids after he abandoned them. You have the evidence that you did not know where he was.

          He's going to be hating life when CSE finally gets ahold of him.
          They hate not having children covered by medical insurance!

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          • #6
            thank you so much for y our help. I am really worried about this. I am a full time working mom and I have been the one who has kept these kids fed, clothed, and healthy. It has been me to see that they make the A/B honor roll at school, me who help them when they're scared/hurt/sick. I just hope the judge is able to see straight through his lies. About a year or so ago, his wife took me to court for supposably "trying to run her over in my car" which I never did. The judge dismissed it though because she had no evidence.

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            • #7
              I also want to add real quick that his wife has pictures of MY kids posted on her myspace page in the form of slideshows and the pics have titles such as "We love our Audree" and "We adore our little girls!" It almost seems like she is passing them off as her own! If you didn't know any better, you'd think they were by looking at the page!! That upset me very much! Is it legal to post pictures of someone kids on the internet if you don't have custody??? Doesn't she have to have my permission?? I have not let her know I found her myspace page, and I am simply watching it in case there is any useful info on there I could use to catch him.

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              • #8
                Well, as uninvolved as he has been, he is their father. There is nothing illegal about posting their pictures. (NOT a very smart move from a safety stand point, but legal.)
                HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
                How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
                (unique up on him)
                How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
                (same way)

                Comment


                • #9
                  ok, well, it still makes me MAD!!! gggrrrr!! I didn;t think that there was anything I could do about it, but somebody else said it was illegal unless you had the custodial parent's permission, but I gues he COULD be considered a legal guardian too, huh? Do you have any answers to this question? If I die, he will automatically get the kids, right? Well, what if thats 3-4 years from now and he still hasn;t been an active part of their lives? Would he still get them? That is something that worries me constantly, if I was gone, they'd be given to him.... sorry, I tend to get way way to paranoid sometimes about this stuff. He really really wronged me in our marriage, and I don't want him to even have an opportunity to treat my kids badly the way he did me.... he was verbally/emotionally abusive and very controlling. I even had to spend 2 months in a domestic violence shelter when I left him, because I was afraid he would come after me.

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                  • #10
                    Unless you have a very, very rare situation (and I mean as rare as finding the hope diamond in your backyard), yes, if something were to happen to you, the kids would go to your ex. You cannot "will" children to another person. He is their father and he has not had his parental rights terminated. Unless a court finds him to be unfit to care for his children (and your past marital history, unless there are convictions for abuse) will have no bearing on whether or not he is a fit parent.

                    I am going to give you some non-legal advise, here. You need to find some way to seperate your anger at his treatment of you in the past from the fact that he is the father. No, he will not get custody of the kids (unless, as I said, there is some major differences in what the situation is and what you have posted), but neither will he be denied visitation. As you have a custody/visitation order, you need to be aware that if he shows up on your doorstep the next time it is ordered that he is to have visitation, there is nothing you can do to block that visitation. If you are not getting some sort of counseling, I urge you to do so. This anger you have festering inside of you IS going to poison your children. You need to remember that half of their DNA comes from him. If you hate him, your children are going to wonder if you hate them, too. As hard as it is, you need to let the past go. It's over. Deal with the issues now as best you can and go on with life. Do not allow him to take up and waste any more room in your heart. Every time you think about the wrongs he has done to you, look at your children and replace that anger with your love for them.
                    Last edited by mommyof4; 11-03-2006, 12:13 PM.
                    HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
                    How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
                    (unique up on him)
                    How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
                    (same way)

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by lovinmygirlztodeath View Post
                      ok, well, it still makes me MAD!!! gggrrrr!! I didn;t think that there was anything I could do about it, but somebody else said it was illegal unless you had the custodial parent's permission, but I gues he COULD be considered a legal guardian too, huh? Do you have any answers to this question? If I die, he will automatically get the kids, right? Well, what if thats 3-4 years from now and he still hasn;t been an active part of their lives? Would he still get them? That is something that worries me constantly, if I was gone, they'd be given to him.... sorry, I tend to get way way to paranoid sometimes about this stuff. He really really wronged me in our marriage, and I don't want him to even have an opportunity to treat my kids badly the way he did me.... he was verbally/emotionally abusive and very controlling. I even had to spend 2 months in a domestic violence shelter when I left him, because I was afraid he would come after me.
                      You are NOT paranoid. I worried sooo much that my ex would try to kill me for the death benefits my son would get and then not take care of my son and go off on a binge... It took a lot of work to get all the police reports and document everything just to ensure that my son would not go to him no matter what ever happened to me.

                      Most women's shelters have support groups if you need it. And trust me, we still need it years after the abuse is over.
                      Last edited by demartian; 11-03-2006, 12:17 PM.

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