Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Concerned Parent Maryland

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Concerned Parent Maryland

    ..........
    Last edited by cam81; 11-09-2006, 06:11 AM.

  • #2
    Originally posted by cam81 View Post
    My ex recently assaulted my girlfriend in our home, with my daughter watching. We have had problems in the past with her constantly starting arguments, and telling my daughter lies and bad things about me, my girlfriend, and my family...which I put up with,and probably shouldn't have. However, after what happened, I feel she has some serious emotional/mental problems, and I am scared for my daughter's well being. I cannot believe she would do such a thing at all, especially in front of our daughter. We have a custody case coming up, but it's still over a month away. Is there anything I can do in the interum to remove my daughter or offer her relief from living with a person like that?? Also, is there any way for me to request my ex be entered into some sort of counseling? We are currently in mediation, but that doesn't seem to be going anywhere, most of our sessions consist of her arguing with me and the mediators. We are not divorced yet and have not come to any sort of custody agreements on our own or with the courts.
    Your GF can get a protective order against your soon to be ex because of the assault. Were the police called at the time? If so, the report might note that your child was present, this can be used by you in court.

    You can modify your pending petition to include things like requiring counseling, no contact between ex and GF, set up a neutral drop off point for visitation, etc. Are you asking for full custody? If not and there are other documentation of Mom's behavior you can ask for residential custody.

    Comment


    • #3
      Do not let your ex take your daughter from you during your visitation.

      Period.

      The ex doesn't have an excuse good enough to take her away from you on your visitation.

      Next time, keep the door locked and call the cops. Get her hauled off a few times and that should help your custody case.

      Sorry about the drama.
      Not everything that makes you mad, sad or uncomfortable is legally actionable.

      I am not now nor ever was an attorney.

      Any statements I make are based purely upon my personal experiences and research which may or may not be accurate in a court of law.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by cam81
        Yes, we called the police and filed charges after the incident, my girlfriend also obtained a restraining order against my ex. We also notified the police that my daughter was present---actually sitting in a running car while my ex came up to the door, screamed at me and then hit my girlfriend for telling her to grow up and leave. I have been trying for joint custody, to be fair...I really want my daughter to be able to grow up spending equal time with her parents. So I'm not sure if I should try for full custody...I don't even know if I could get it. My ex has refused to let me have overnights with my daughter(ie: coming to the house and throwing fits, busting in the door and taking her) , which I should have notified the police about, but I have just not wanted my daughter to have to go through all of that, I know the divorce and things her mother tells her are hard enough on her. I would like temporary full custody and hope that my ex can get some help and we can come to a joint custody agreement. Can i get that without having ever had overnights in the almost two years we've been seperated? I am a good dad, i love my daughter very much and just want to be able to be a full time dad again.
        cam, you might want to read the following threads:

        http://www.laborlawtalk.com/showthread.php?t=159400
        http://www.laborlawtalk.com/showthread.php?t=159378
        http://www.laborlawtalk.com/showthread.php?t=159381
        http://www.laborlawtalk.com/showthread.php?t=159390
        http://www.laborlawtalk.com/showthread.php?t=159410

        Comment


        • #5
          You may want to make copies of her posts... and the advice she is given.
          Not everything that makes you mad, sad or uncomfortable is legally actionable.

          I am not now nor ever was an attorney.

          Any statements I make are based purely upon my personal experiences and research which may or may not be accurate in a court of law.

          Comment


          • #6
            Reading both sides of this argument all I can say is...

            How did you stay married to her for as long as you did? She sounds like she wanted a nanny, not a husband.

            Oh well... good luck...
            Not everything that makes you mad, sad or uncomfortable is legally actionable.

            I am not now nor ever was an attorney.

            Any statements I make are based purely upon my personal experiences and research which may or may not be accurate in a court of law.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by cam81
              Wow, that is definitely my ex. As usual it looks like she is playing the victim and stretching the truth about what my girlfriend said...although she did cuss at her, she didn't do so until she had barged into the house and hit her. I'm glad that "mommyof4" re itterated what I have already told her many times.

              Also, my girlfriend lives with me, and my daughter loves her, they get along great. Can/would the courts make her leave our home when my daughter stays overnight? That just doesn't seem right.
              It is not uncommon, but it is not something that is ordered every single time. Do I think that it will be successful here? I don't know. It depends on the judge and what (s)he feels is truly going on. My personal opinion is that you have an ex with serious control issues and she needs to be stopped in her tracks NOW. That's hard to do after so many years of getting her way, but it can be done. The assault charge should be a step in the right direction. For now, limit contact as much as possible when the child is in the vicinity and just keep showing her that you love her. Don't try to argue with the child if she repeats what Mommy says. Just tell her that she needs to be nice and change the subject. Hopefully, y'all will get this resolved soon. I DO think that if the mother continues in the way, you need to speak to your atty about going for full custody. I know that a child needs both parents and I am not suggesting that you "take the child away from the mother". But the fact is that if the mother is willing to abuse (psychological abuse is just as devestating as physical abuse. Teaching the child to dislike and disrespect her daddy IS abuse. It is called parental alienation) your child to get back at you, one good, full time parent is better than split custody between both parents when one is detrimental to the child.

              I'm glad Xena posted the links to the other threads because I thought I was going nuts.
              HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
              How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
              (unique up on him)
              How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
              (same way)

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by mommyof4 View Post
                It is not uncommon, but it is not something that is ordered every single time. Do I think that it will be successful here? I don't know. It depends on the judge and what (s)he feels is truly going on. My personal opinion is that you have an ex with serious control issues and she needs to be stopped in her tracks NOW. That's hard to do after so many years of getting her way, but it can be done. The assault charge should be a step in the right direction. For now, limit contact as much as possible when the child is in the vicinity and just keep showing her that you love her. Don't try to argue with the child if she repeats what Mommy says. Just tell her that she needs to be nice and change the subject. Hopefully, y'all will get this resolved soon. I DO think that if the mother continues in the way, you need to speak to your atty about going for full custody. I know that a child needs both parents and I am not suggesting that you "take the child away from the mother". But the fact is that if the mother is willing to abuse (psychological abuse is just as devestating as physical abuse. Teaching the child to dislike and disrespect her daddy IS abuse. It is called parental alienation) your child to get back at you, one good, full time parent is better than split custody between both parents when one is detrimental to the child.

                I'm glad Xena posted the links to the other threads because I thought I was going nuts.
                LOL, as I was reading OP's posts I kept thinking, wow this sounds SO familiar and it kept bugging me, then I searched and found his ex's threads.
                This kind of thing doesn't happen very often, but when it does it's always nice to be able to read both sides of the story, not just one.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by cam81
                  Wow, that is definitely my ex. As usual it looks like she is playing the victim and stretching the truth about what my girlfriend said...although she did cuss at her, she didn't do so until she had barged into the house and hit her. I'm glad that "mommyof4" re itterated what I have already told her many times.

                  Also, my girlfriend lives with me, and my daughter loves her, they get along great. Can/would the courts make her leave our home when my daughter stays overnight? That just doesn't seem right.
                  It would be a good idea for you to set up a neutral place to exchange your daughter for visits, and make sure that your GF isn't with you for the exchange.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Hmmmm

                    Originally posted by cam81
                    we were only married for a little over a year. before that we lived seperately
                    Not that it is my business but was the marriage a result of the daughter?? I have read both sides of the story and no matter how much she denies it I firmly believe that she thought there would be a reconciliation between the two of you and when gf came into the picture that was no longer the case. I truly feel for you since I am right now in a custody situation with for my step-daughter and let me tell you.....your ex is mild compared to what I have been dealing with for the last 9 years. I wish your gf luck but may I suggest to her to let you handle things and as hard as it is(believe me I know)keep her mouth shut in front of Mom. I have only opened my mouth 2 times in 9 years.
                    1. I called Mom and asked to please stop behaving the way she does in front of the child.(mind you this was the first time in 3 years I even said anything) It was not a good thing for her to see and she needed to get along with my husband for her sake(sd). Not to mention the effect it had on my children who I had to comfort after she left or hung up the phone. Well I learned not to do that again after she called here later when my husband got home from work. I meant well and she was quite pleasant during our conversation. I also made the mistake of saying why does she always have to act like a B**ch. While he was still on the phone with her. Somehow she heard me. The best part was in the end the next time my sd came over she asked my if we could talk(she was maybe 7)I said sure. She asked me what happened with her mom and I. I said what do you know?? Her mom told her I called there screaming at her and calling her all kinds of things etc. She said she didn't know what to think because her mom was describing herself and she has never seen me act that way. I told her I was sorry and that I did call her mom and ask her to try to not be that way around her and that yes I did say the B word in reference to her mother's behavior but did not actually call her mom that. But non-the-less it was still wrong. She gave me a hug. To this day my sd still comes to me when she needs someone to talk to.
                    2. About 4 months ago we started court ordered visitation (pending the final cusody hearing which will be this Friday). It was the first one and apparently Mom did not read what she signed and allowed us a 4 day weekend. When we went to pick her up(I typically am not there but we all had been shopping that day)My husband said to mom see you on Monday at 7. Well the fireworks started-my husband remained calm as he always does and said I will bring you a copy of the order(we had asked for a copy of the one from the initial mediation before leaving the court house the actually nice typed up one did not come until 2 weeks later). So we dropped his daughter off at her friends house(B-day party) and went home and made a copy on my three in one and brought it to her(mind you she has a baby that at the time was 4 months old). We went back and her handed her the copy. She start spinning and screaming obsenities insisted that someone made changes. My husband calm as usual said I signed it first then you signed it second. I am watching the poor baby get spun in all different directions i was ready to have a stroke. My 12 year old was too and said mom do something. So I rolled down the window and said. "Why can't you just have a conversation? There is really no need to make a scene. Please stop. Well it worked(the baby now safe)I took what I knew what was coming next and we left.
                    You need to pick and choose your fights. I have bit my tongue so many times that I am suprised I still have one. But you have to do it.
                    This tured out a lot longer than I had planned sorry!!
                    here's the link to my story.
                    http://www.laborlawtalk.com/showthread.php?t=157940
                    Last edited by stepmom33; 10-10-2006, 05:35 AM.
                    Not an expert just stating what I know from experience and or moral standings

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Cam, you need to print off her posts to have as evidence that she IS using your daughter to try to control you. You also need it as evidence that she is a continuing threat to you and your girlfriend. She has just clearly stated that she will do whatever she can to make sure your daugter is nowhere near your girlfriend, ever again. In light of the assault charge, that could very easily be taken as a threat. Please take this seriously. She sounds very unbalanced.

                      www.laborlawtalk.com/showthread.php?t=159400
                      HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
                      How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
                      (unique up on him)
                      How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
                      (same way)

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I know what you mean. Tell your gf to hang in there. Believe me I know what it is like to be the gf and I also know what it is like to be the MOM. And I thank GOD that I was never [I]THAT[I]mom. I always got along with my daughters step-mom even when she was just the gf. We on occasion would help each other out with babysitting and stuff too. In the long run things work a lot better.
                        Not an expert just stating what I know from experience and or moral standings

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Hmmmm

                          I can't help but wonder how this whole thing is turning out!!!
                          Not an expert just stating what I know from experience and or moral standings

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Well, the state's attorney dropped by girlfriend's charges, saying it was a 'mutual affray' and that they couldn't prosecute it. The false allegations my ex filed against me haven't been dropped, and I don't know if they will be. We have court on the 30th for custody, I think I have a good chance of getting atleast joint.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by cam81 View Post
                              Well, the state's attorney dropped by girlfriend's charges, saying it was a 'mutual affray' and that they couldn't prosecute it. The false allegations my ex filed against me haven't been dropped, and I don't know if they will be. We have court on the 30th for custody, I think I have a good chance of getting atleast joint.
                              I didn't realize she had false allegations on you. Oh well, good luck again.
                              Not an expert just stating what I know from experience and or moral standings

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X