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Complicated Situation Louisiana

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  • Complicated Situation Louisiana

    I've been through the court system now for the past 10 years. After a few attorneys, numerous hearings, and judgments that I could never seem to get enforced, I am now going through another custody evaluation. My child has been living with his dad for a year and a half now - I raised him for the first eleven and a half years with help from his dad financially only for two of those years. At first it was the grass is greener on the other side syndrome but now it has progressed to some form of parental alienation against me. Also I am owed a very large sum of money by the dad but because he "claims" he is disabled and I am employed, he is seeking support. The state would not enforce my order because of his "disability", but because I work they are trying to enforce his order against me. We do have joint legal custody. Also now all of a sudden my child wishes a name change to dad's last name which seemed to be something dad has always wanted and my child didn't care - now it seems to be a verbal battle everytime my child and I speak. I would appreciate any input, advice or otherwise. I'm in Louisiana. It is always a possibility that one cannot see things too clear when they are too close. Thanks!
    Last edited by Princess Depp; 08-23-2006, 06:49 PM.

  • #2
    Since you child is a boy-the name change issue is huge. It will effect the child the rest of his life. IF This a very new thing, then rather than debate the issue--put it on hold. Tell him to wait a year and if he still feels as strongly, Then and only then will you discuss it. Or offer the alternitive of a hyphened name. If a hyphen name is just not an option for whatever reason add your last name to the boys middle name (ie two middle names). There are alot of creative options that you can consider.
    If the dad is "disabled" and gets Social Security Disability, the child can also get a check.
    You should always take the child on his scheduled visits. IF you feel that the Father is in some way influencing this sudden "alienation" pehaps the three of you should go to counseling (family counseling).
    You are right - it is hard to see things clearly when you have only one prespective. A counselor might be able to get insight from both sides and help to mediate between you for the sake of the child.
    Your ex did the wrong thing by not supporting his child. You should not follow in his foot steps. If the courts have ordered you to pay support, then you should pay it. Prove yourself to be the "better man" so to speak. ( if you don't pay, you could get in some hot water!)
    Also you have to be very careful not to say anything bad about the Dad. You should not be discussing child support or things of that nature with the child either. Your son should never be place in a position where he feels he has to defend one parent to another. IF your child is lucky enough to have two parents then your child should be able to Love them both without having to choose.
    I was not quite sure what your question was, so I'm just giving my opinions.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Princess Depp
      I've been through the court system now for the past 10 years. After a few attorneys, numerous hearings, and judgments that I could never seem to get enforced, I am now going through another custody evaluation. My child has been living with his dad for a year and a half now - I raised him for the first eleven and a half years with help from his dad financially only for two of those years. At first it was the grass is greener on the other side syndrome but now it has progressed to some form of parental alienation against me. Also I am owed a very large sum of money by the dad but because he "claims" he is disabled and I am employed, he is seeking support. The state would not enforce my order because of his "disability", but because I work they are trying to enforce his order against me. We do have joint legal custody. Also now all of a sudden my child wishes a name change to dad's last name which seemed to be something dad has always wanted and my child didn't care - now it seems to be a verbal battle everytime my child and I speak. I would appreciate any input, advice or otherwise. I'm in Louisiana. It is always a possibility that one cannot see things too clear when they are too close. Thanks!
      How did your son end up living with Dad? Has residential custody been changed, or is a modification pending?

      How has it progressed to parental alienation?

      Your son is apparently 13, and at that age it's not unusual at all for kids to rebel against one or both parents. Is it possible that your son is just rebelling?
      I think the previous suggestion to get family counseling is an excellant one, it will really help everyone.

      You said that Dad has always wanted a name change, but until now your son was pretty much indifferent about it. Since he has now changed his mind and wishes to get his name changed, why not go ahead and do that? It really isn't unusual for a boy to want his father's name, and unless the name is infamous there really can't be much harm in allowing it. I also agree with the prior suggestion to wait awhile though- just to make sure it's what your son really wants.

      As for the CS, when you had residential custody you expected Dad to pay CS, so why shouldn't you have to pay when he has residential custody? I can tell by the way you wrote "disabled" that you don't believe he's really disabled, the problem is is that legally it doesn't matter what you "think" about it, apparently he has proven his disabilty to the point that CS order was not enforced. The bottom line is that unless you are disabled yourself, you'll probably be ordered to pay CS.

      Does Dad recieve SSDI? If he does, does your son also recieve benefits?

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