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  • Ya....But....

    I have been reading this newsgroup for quite a while and starting posting a
    few weeks ago. I am reminded of my college Corporation Finance professor.
    He said, many years ago, that the biggest roadblock to success is the term
    "Ya, but". He went on to explain that whenever someone says these words, it
    means that they have heard what you had to say, but they are going to
    totally disregard your words, your expertise, your experience to continue on
    the same path that had them asking for advice in the first place.

    In so many posts here, I have seen many people repeat the exact same advice.
    For the most part, when many people respond in the same way, you might be
    able to ascertain that the advice is worth a consideration at least. Then
    comes the "Ya But". Then the posters go on to explain until they are blue
    in the face why what they are saying is at very minimum, reasonable. But
    the "Ya But-ers" continue with the notion that no one here is enlightened
    enough to understand the depth of their problem. I can only imagine that
    the same scenario happens at therapy, or when they are talking with their
    SO's.

    So, my quick, uneducated reaction is this. These people thrive on crisis.
    They don't *want* a solution to their problems because it makes them have to
    come up with new ones. Crisis keeps them the center of attention which is
    what they really desire.

    Comments?
    Momma




  • #2
    Ya....But....

    "Everyboysmomma" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected] .
    Comments?
    Who could disagree with that without being accused of saying, "ya but?"

    Ted


    Comment


    • #3
      Ya....But....

      "Everyboysmomma" <[email protected]> wrote in message
      news:[email protected] .
      Comments?
      Who could disagree with that without being accused of saying, "ya but?"

      Ted


      Comment


      • #4
        Ya....But....

        "Everyboysmomma" <[email protected]> wrote in message
        news:[email protected] .

        *snip*
        So, my quick, uneducated reaction is this. These people thrive on crisis. They don't *want* a solution to their problems because it makes them have
        to
        come up with new ones. Crisis keeps them the center of attention which is what they really desire. Comments? Momma
        I agree with you that people roadblock themselves.

        I am also of the firm belief that (at least in the US) people are prettymuch
        where they *want* to be in life.


        Comment


        • #5
          Ya....But....

          "Everyboysmomma" <[email protected]> wrote in message
          news:[email protected] .

          *snip*
          So, my quick, uneducated reaction is this. These people thrive on crisis. They don't *want* a solution to their problems because it makes them have
          to
          come up with new ones. Crisis keeps them the center of attention which is what they really desire. Comments? Momma
          I agree with you that people roadblock themselves.

          I am also of the firm belief that (at least in the US) people are prettymuch
          where they *want* to be in life.


          Comment


          • #6
            Ya....But....

            Everyboysmomma wrote:
            I have been reading this newsgroup for quite a while and starting posting a few weeks ago. I am reminded of my college Corporation Finance professor. He said, many years ago, that the biggest roadblock to success is the term "Ya, but". He went on to explain that whenever someone says these words, it means that they have heard what you had to say, but they are going to totally disregard your words, your expertise, your experience to continue on the same path that had them asking for advice in the first place. In so many posts here, I have seen many people repeat the exact same advice. For the most part, when many people respond in the same way, you might be able to ascertain that the advice is worth a consideration at least. Then comes the "Ya But". Then the posters go on to explain until they are blue in the face why what they are saying is at very minimum, reasonable. But the "Ya But-ers" continue with the notion that no one here is enlightened enough to understand the depth of their problem. I can only imagine that the same scenario happens at therapy, or when they are talking with their SO's. So, my quick, uneducated reaction is this. These people thrive on crisis. They don't *want* a solution to their problems because it makes them have to come up with new ones. Crisis keeps them the center of attention which is what they really desire. Comments? Momma
            We used to call it a "defence mechanism". People are reluctant to change,
            until they are forced to. It is like crossing a stream by stepping on
            rocks. We feel safer standing on one rock in the middle of the stream than
            in between two rocks, so we don't move. We can be stuck in the middle of
            the stream, frozen by fear. I prefer this explanation to thriving on one
            crisis after another, which isn't really fun at all.

            Doug.
            --
            *** Number 178748389. Registered Linux User No. 277548.
            Part of being sane, is being a little bit crazy.
            -Janet Long.

            Comment


            • #7
              Ya....But....

              Everyboysmomma wrote:
              I have been reading this newsgroup for quite a while and starting posting a few weeks ago. I am reminded of my college Corporation Finance professor. He said, many years ago, that the biggest roadblock to success is the term "Ya, but". He went on to explain that whenever someone says these words, it means that they have heard what you had to say, but they are going to totally disregard your words, your expertise, your experience to continue on the same path that had them asking for advice in the first place. In so many posts here, I have seen many people repeat the exact same advice. For the most part, when many people respond in the same way, you might be able to ascertain that the advice is worth a consideration at least. Then comes the "Ya But". Then the posters go on to explain until they are blue in the face why what they are saying is at very minimum, reasonable. But the "Ya But-ers" continue with the notion that no one here is enlightened enough to understand the depth of their problem. I can only imagine that the same scenario happens at therapy, or when they are talking with their SO's. So, my quick, uneducated reaction is this. These people thrive on crisis. They don't *want* a solution to their problems because it makes them have to come up with new ones. Crisis keeps them the center of attention which is what they really desire. Comments? Momma
              We used to call it a "defence mechanism". People are reluctant to change,
              until they are forced to. It is like crossing a stream by stepping on
              rocks. We feel safer standing on one rock in the middle of the stream than
              in between two rocks, so we don't move. We can be stuck in the middle of
              the stream, frozen by fear. I prefer this explanation to thriving on one
              crisis after another, which isn't really fun at all.

              Doug.
              --
              *** Number 178748389. Registered Linux User No. 277548.
              Part of being sane, is being a little bit crazy.
              -Janet Long.

              Comment


              • #8
                Ya....But....

                Seeker wrote:
                "Everyboysmomma" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected] .
                Comments?
                Who could disagree with that without being accused of saying, "ya but?" Ted
                Hehehe.. this from the 'King of Yabbut'

                <GRIN>
                Cal~


                Comment


                • #9
                  Ya....But....

                  Seeker wrote:
                  "Everyboysmomma" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected] .
                  Comments?
                  Who could disagree with that without being accused of saying, "ya but?" Ted
                  Hehehe.. this from the 'King of Yabbut'

                  <GRIN>
                  Cal~


                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Ya....But....

                    On Thu, 05 Aug 2004 13:11:01 GMT, Everyboysmomma
                    <[email protected]> wrote:
                    I have been reading this newsgroup for quite a while and starting posting a few weeks ago. I am reminded of my college Corporation Finance professor. He said, many years ago, that the biggest roadblock to success is the term "Ya, but". He went on to explain that whenever someone says these words, it means that they have heard what you had to say, but they are going to totally disregard your words, your expertise, your experience to continue on the same path that had them asking for advice in the first place. In so many posts here, I have seen many people repeat the exact same advice. For the most part, when many people respond in the same way, you might be able to ascertain that the advice is worth a consideration at least. Then comes the "Ya But". Then the posters go on to explain until they are blue in the face why what they are saying is at very minimum, reasonable. But the "Ya But-ers" continue with the notion that no one here is enlightened enough to understand the depth of their problem. I can only imagine that the same scenario happens at therapy, or when they are talking with their SO's. So, my quick, uneducated reaction is this. These people thrive on crisis. They don't *want* a solution to their problems because it makes them have to come up with new ones. Crisis keeps them the center of attention which is what they really desire. Comments?
                    Ya, but...



                    -Tony

                    PS: All joking aside, I think you hit the nail right on the head.

                    --
                    "If the grass appears to be greener on the other side of the fence, it's time
                    to fertilize your lawn!"
                    Want to jump start your marriage? Consider a Marriage Encounter weekend.
                    Check out http://www.wwme.org for more information.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Ya....But....

                      On Thu, 05 Aug 2004 13:11:01 GMT, Everyboysmomma
                      <noway[email protected]> wrote:
                      I have been reading this newsgroup for quite a while and starting posting a few weeks ago. I am reminded of my college Corporation Finance professor. He said, many years ago, that the biggest roadblock to success is the term "Ya, but". He went on to explain that whenever someone says these words, it means that they have heard what you had to say, but they are going to totally disregard your words, your expertise, your experience to continue on the same path that had them asking for advice in the first place. In so many posts here, I have seen many people repeat the exact same advice. For the most part, when many people respond in the same way, you might be able to ascertain that the advice is worth a consideration at least. Then comes the "Ya But". Then the posters go on to explain until they are blue in the face why what they are saying is at very minimum, reasonable. But the "Ya But-ers" continue with the notion that no one here is enlightened enough to understand the depth of their problem. I can only imagine that the same scenario happens at therapy, or when they are talking with their SO's. So, my quick, uneducated reaction is this. These people thrive on crisis. They don't *want* a solution to their problems because it makes them have to come up with new ones. Crisis keeps them the center of attention which is what they really desire. Comments?
                      Ya, but...



                      -Tony

                      PS: All joking aside, I think you hit the nail right on the head.

                      --
                      "If the grass appears to be greener on the other side of the fence, it's time
                      to fertilize your lawn!"
                      Want to jump start your marriage? Consider a Marriage Encounter weekend.
                      Check out http://www.wwme.org for more information.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Ya....But....

                        On Thu, 5 Aug 2004 11:25:18 -0400, _calinda_
                        <[email protected]> wrote:
                        Seeker wrote:
                        "Everyboysmomma" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected] .
                        Comments?
                        Who could disagree with that without being accused of saying, "ya but?" Ted
                        Hehehe.. this from the 'King of Yabbut'
                        The King of Yabbut with a tack in his butt.

                        -Tony

                        --
                        "If the grass appears to be greener on the other side of the fence, it's time
                        to fertilize your lawn!"
                        Want to jump start your marriage? Consider a Marriage Encounter weekend.
                        Check out http://www.wwme.org for more information.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Ya....But....

                          On Thu, 5 Aug 2004 11:25:18 -0400, _calinda_
                          <[email protected]> wrote:
                          Seeker wrote:
                          "Everyboysmomma" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected] .
                          Comments?
                          Who could disagree with that without being accused of saying, "ya but?" Ted
                          Hehehe.. this from the 'King of Yabbut'
                          The King of Yabbut with a tack in his butt.

                          -Tony

                          --
                          "If the grass appears to be greener on the other side of the fence, it's time
                          to fertilize your lawn!"
                          Want to jump start your marriage? Consider a Marriage Encounter weekend.
                          Check out http://www.wwme.org for more information.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Ya....But....

                            Everyboysmomma <[email protected]> wrote:
                            I have been reading this newsgroup for quite a while and starting posting a few weeks ago. I am reminded of my college Corporation Finance professor. He said, many years ago, that the biggest roadblock to success is the term "Ya, but". He went on to explain that whenever someone says these words, it means that they have heard what you had to say, but they are going to totally disregard your words, your expertise, your experience to continue on the same path that had them asking for advice in the first place.
                            Here we call it refusing to take the tack out of your butt. :-)

                            However, I do think that sometimes people do the "ya but" thing for a
                            while in the process of getting ready to change. I have worked with
                            domestic violence victims for a long time (and they are the "ya but"
                            *queens*) and some do eventually change. The key is to put in your two
                            cents when it makes sense and not get attached to the outcome. If and
                            when they are ready, the stuff you and others have been telling them
                            will be available to them.

                            Other, of course, have no intention of ever changing and just like the
                            "ya but" game. When it become clear to me that someone is doing this, I
                            decline to play any further.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Ya....But....

                              Everyboysmomma <[email protected]> wrote:
                              I have been reading this newsgroup for quite a while and starting posting a few weeks ago. I am reminded of my college Corporation Finance professor. He said, many years ago, that the biggest roadblock to success is the term "Ya, but". He went on to explain that whenever someone says these words, it means that they have heard what you had to say, but they are going to totally disregard your words, your expertise, your experience to continue on the same path that had them asking for advice in the first place.
                              Here we call it refusing to take the tack out of your butt. :-)

                              However, I do think that sometimes people do the "ya but" thing for a
                              while in the process of getting ready to change. I have worked with
                              domestic violence victims for a long time (and they are the "ya but"
                              *queens*) and some do eventually change. The key is to put in your two
                              cents when it makes sense and not get attached to the outcome. If and
                              when they are ready, the stuff you and others have been telling them
                              will be available to them.

                              Other, of course, have no intention of ever changing and just like the
                              "ya but" game. When it become clear to me that someone is doing this, I
                              decline to play any further.

                              Comment

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