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  • #46
    Kinds of emotional intimacy (was A few quick comments)

    On Thu, 05 Aug 2004 01:11:26 GMT, Seeker
    <[email protected]> wrote:
    In article <[email protected]>, bogart <[email protected]> wrote:
    yes there is - satisfy them yourself.
    Emotional masturbation? I haven't found a manual on that yet.
    You tell yourself "secrets" and you react the way you want you to :P

    -Tony

    --
    "If the grass appears to be greener on the other side of the fence, it's time
    to fertilize your lawn!"
    Want to jump start your marriage? Consider a Marriage Encounter weekend.
    Check out http://www.wwme.org for more information.

    Comment


    • #47
      Kinds of emotional intimacy (was A few quick comments)

      On Thu, 05 Aug 2004 01:11:26 GMT, Seeker
      <[email protected]> wrote:
      In article <[email protected]>, bogart <[email protected]> wrote:
      yes there is - satisfy them yourself.
      Emotional masturbation? I haven't found a manual on that yet.
      You tell yourself "secrets" and you react the way you want you to :P

      -Tony

      --
      "If the grass appears to be greener on the other side of the fence, it's time
      to fertilize your lawn!"
      Want to jump start your marriage? Consider a Marriage Encounter weekend.
      Check out http://www.wwme.org for more information.

      Comment


      • #48
        A few quick comments

        Tracey <[email protected]> wrote in message news:<[email protected]>...

        <snip>
        But, guess what? I didn't just 'know' that that was what he was thinking without him ever saying anything. I knew his thoughts because we've talked about his wish that he played guitar better and his envy of people who can play well and the people he thinks plays well. Am I bringing up this concert to ding you on how differently our concert went than your recent one did? No, I'm not. I'm trying to point out that our mutual enjoyment of our concert didn't happen in a vacuum. Just spending time together, as you've found out, doesn't accomplish much without some communication and some know- ledge of the other person. Your disappointment that your concert didn't go the way you wanted it to is just another example, IMO, of your 'magical' thinking. Tracey
        excellent post

        Comment


        • #49
          A few quick comments

          Tracey <[email protected]> wrote in message news:<[email protected]>...

          <snip>
          But, guess what? I didn't just 'know' that that was what he was thinking without him ever saying anything. I knew his thoughts because we've talked about his wish that he played guitar better and his envy of people who can play well and the people he thinks plays well. Am I bringing up this concert to ding you on how differently our concert went than your recent one did? No, I'm not. I'm trying to point out that our mutual enjoyment of our concert didn't happen in a vacuum. Just spending time together, as you've found out, doesn't accomplish much without some communication and some know- ledge of the other person. Your disappointment that your concert didn't go the way you wanted it to is just another example, IMO, of your 'magical' thinking. Tracey
          excellent post

          Comment


          • #50
            A few quick comments

            "Tracey" <[email protected]> wrote in message
            news:[email protected]
            Am I bringing up this concert to ding you on how differently our concert went than your recent one did? No, I'm not. I'm trying to point out that our mutual enjoyment of our concert didn't happen in a vacuum. Just spending time together, as you've found out, doesn't accomplish much without some communication and some know- ledge of the other person. Your disappointment that your concert didn't go the way you wanted it to is just another example, IMO, of your 'magical' thinking.
            I get your point -- and we have had something a little like those kinds of
            discussions (for instance, I've talked about how I like sitting close so I
            can see the performers interacting with each other -- the last time I even
            pointed out the two I like paying attention to most because they are the
            most expressive).

            Do you get *my* point at all? That I have a hard time accepting, and
            grieving over, that there is something I would like in my marriage that I
            probably can never have, and so I grasp at any straws that maybe there is
            hope for it afterall?

            Ted


            Comment


            • #51
              A few quick comments

              "Tracey" <[email protected]> wrote in message
              news:[email protected]
              Am I bringing up this concert to ding you on how differently our concert went than your recent one did? No, I'm not. I'm trying to point out that our mutual enjoyment of our concert didn't happen in a vacuum. Just spending time together, as you've found out, doesn't accomplish much without some communication and some know- ledge of the other person. Your disappointment that your concert didn't go the way you wanted it to is just another example, IMO, of your 'magical' thinking.
              I get your point -- and we have had something a little like those kinds of
              discussions (for instance, I've talked about how I like sitting close so I
              can see the performers interacting with each other -- the last time I even
              pointed out the two I like paying attention to most because they are the
              most expressive).

              Do you get *my* point at all? That I have a hard time accepting, and
              grieving over, that there is something I would like in my marriage that I
              probably can never have, and so I grasp at any straws that maybe there is
              hope for it afterall?

              Ted


              Comment


              • #52
                A few quick comments



                Seeker wrote:
                "Tracey" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected]
                Am I bringing up this concert to ding you on how differently ourconcert went than your recent one did? No, I'm not. I'm trying topoint out that our mutual enjoyment of our concert didn't happenin a vacuum. Just spending time together, as you've found out,doesn't accomplish much without some communication and some know-ledge of the other person. Your disappointment that your concertdidn't go the way you wanted it to is just another example, IMO,of your 'magical' thinking.
                I get your point -- and we have had something a little like those kinds of discussions (for instance, I've talked about how I like sitting close so I can see the performers interacting with each other -- the last time I even pointed out the two I like paying attention to most because they are the most expressive). Do you get *my* point at all? That I have a hard time accepting, and grieving over, that there is something I would like in my marriage that I probably can never have, and so I grasp at any straws that maybe there is hope for it afterall?
                Of course I get the point that you have a hard time accepting that
                there is something you would like in your marriage that you aren't
                getting What I don't get is why you continue to make yourself miserable
                over it and won't *do* anything about it.

                Tracey

                Comment


                • #53
                  A few quick comments



                  Seeker wrote:
                  "Tracey" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected]
                  Am I bringing up this concert to ding you on how differently ourconcert went than your recent one did? No, I'm not. I'm trying topoint out that our mutual enjoyment of our concert didn't happenin a vacuum. Just spending time together, as you've found out,doesn't accomplish much without some communication and some know-ledge of the other person. Your disappointment that your concertdidn't go the way you wanted it to is just another example, IMO,of your 'magical' thinking.
                  I get your point -- and we have had something a little like those kinds of discussions (for instance, I've talked about how I like sitting close so I can see the performers interacting with each other -- the last time I even pointed out the two I like paying attention to most because they are the most expressive). Do you get *my* point at all? That I have a hard time accepting, and grieving over, that there is something I would like in my marriage that I probably can never have, and so I grasp at any straws that maybe there is hope for it afterall?
                  Of course I get the point that you have a hard time accepting that
                  there is something you would like in your marriage that you aren't
                  getting What I don't get is why you continue to make yourself miserable
                  over it and won't *do* anything about it.

                  Tracey

                  Comment


                  • #54
                    Kinds of emotional intimacy (was A few quick comments)

                    Seeker <[email protected]> wrote in message news:<040820042011252851%[email protected] com>...
                    In article <[email protected]>, bogart <[email protected]> wrote:
                    yes there is - satisfy them yourself.
                    Emotional masturbation? I haven't found a manual on that yet. Ted

                    Ted, you *wrote* the **** manual!!!

                    jen

                    Comment


                    • #55
                      Kinds of emotional intimacy (was A few quick comments)

                      Seeker <[email protected]> wrote in message news:<040820042011252851%[email protected] com>...
                      In article <[email protected]>, bogart <[email protected]> wrote:
                      yes there is - satisfy them yourself.
                      Emotional masturbation? I haven't found a manual on that yet. Ted

                      Ted, you *wrote* the **** manual!!!

                      jen

                      Comment


                      • #56
                        A few quick comments

                        "Tracey" <[email protected]> wrote in message
                        news:[email protected]
                        Of course I get the point that you have a hard time accepting that there is something you would like in your marriage that you aren't getting What I don't get is why you continue to make yourself miserable over it and won't *do* anything about it.
                        I guess it's because I can't completely accept that there's nothing that
                        *can* be done about it, especially when every now and then there are hints
                        that something can.

                        Ted


                        Comment


                        • #57
                          A few quick comments

                          "Tracey" <[email protected]> wrote in message
                          news:[email protected]
                          Of course I get the point that you have a hard time accepting that there is something you would like in your marriage that you aren't getting What I don't get is why you continue to make yourself miserable over it and won't *do* anything about it.
                          I guess it's because I can't completely accept that there's nothing that
                          *can* be done about it, especially when every now and then there are hints
                          that something can.

                          Ted


                          Comment


                          • #58
                            Kinds of emotional intimacy (was A few quick comments)

                            shinypenny wrote:
                            Emotional masturbation? I haven't found a manual on that yet. Ted Ted, you *wrote* the **** manual!!!
                            Thank Goodness someone *finally* said that. I've been biting my tongue
                            ever since I read his reply and that's not really that easy for me to
                            do, yaknow?

                            Cal~
                            jen

                            Comment


                            • #59
                              Kinds of emotional intimacy (was A few quick comments)

                              shinypenny wrote:
                              Emotional masturbation? I haven't found a manual on that yet. Ted Ted, you *wrote* the **** manual!!!
                              Thank Goodness someone *finally* said that. I've been biting my tongue
                              ever since I read his reply and that's not really that easy for me to
                              do, yaknow?

                              Cal~
                              jen

                              Comment

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