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Is having kids worth it?

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  • #31
    Is having kids worth it?

    Tony Miller <[email protected]> wrote in message news:<[email protected]>...
    On Tue, 13 Jul 2004 10:55:47 +0100, Sue <[email protected]> wrote: <Snip>
    I really have no desire to have another baby, but I DO want adult children, does that made sense??? My question is do you think giving up another 20 years of my life to get to the stage where I have adult kids is worth it? I really hate the lack of freedom having kids brings BUT I do not want to get to 50 and regret not having more adult kids.
    You can adopt children who are past the toddler stage -Tony
    Better yet, foster a sibling group of all ages up into the teen
    years!!! If you like them, they can stay. Instant family :-)

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    • #32
      Is having kids worth it?

      Doug Laidlaw <[email protected]> wrote in message news:<[email protected]>...
      Sue wrote:
      Hi, I am a Mum to an 8 yr old only. She is the light of my life and I wouldn't be without her for the world. For a LONG time I never wanted another as I found the toddler stage particularly difficult and I did not want to have to do that again, having to watch them every second of the day, the tantrums, the potty training. DD is in full time school now and I am a SAHM. DH works shifts, so it's great on his days off as we can go for lunch alone a lot and things. Things are getting so much easier, in fact my life is quite calm and peaceful. Apart from a few money worries (who ever has enough money) things are great. However lately I have been seeing all these Mums with their grown up kids and thinking "hey wouldn't it be fun to have all those ready made friends when I am older" I see Moms with their adult kids laughing and joking and get jealous that I will only ever have one relationship of that type. I really have no desire to have another baby, but I DO want adult children, does that made sense??? My question is do you think giving up another 20 years of my life to get to the stage where I have adult kids is worth it? I really hate the lack of freedom having kids brings BUT I do not want to get to 50 and regret not having more adult kids. Although I found the baby toddler stage a strain I would not be without my DD for a minute and would go through it 100 rimes over just to have her in my life. My friend says you NEVER regret having your kids..is she right? All of my friends with babies and toddlers say have another BUT some of my friends who have teens or adult kids say if they had to do it over they wouldn't have any or just one. Any advice from those of you who have been there and done that???
      Yes, you have to be considered, but what about your daughter? I was the eldest of 3, but my wife was an only child. She suffered. Now she is in Victoria with me, and her closest relative is her cousin (another only child) on the other side of Australia, south of Perth. Her parents are both dead, and she has no other rellies. She wishes that she could have had at least a sister. Having had a brother would have been a help when she started going out with boys. Although her parents were careful not to pamper her, she still missed valuable life experience. You should have either none or several.
      -------------
      Now this is a crock! All or nothing?! Come on! She already has one
      kid, (so much for the 'none'), and she has said that she has no desire
      to have another baby. Yet your trying to guilt her into having more
      by saying that an only child will somehow have a less valuable life
      experience?! Since you are basing this on knowing just a couple of
      only-childs then I can state that from my experience all the
      only-childs I have known are generally more secure, more mature, more
      intelligent and closer to their parents than other kids. They also
      get to grow up with a lifestyle that having multiple kids doesn't
      allow, (unless your quite rich).

      But even having an only child doesn't guarantee anythig. You can do
      your best and still end up alone in a county-run nursing home. I know,
      I've seen it time and time again.

      I think she should follow her first instincts on this and just be the
      best mom she can be to the one. If this one grows up to be close to
      her then she will have what she wanted. The only reason to have
      another is for a spare and that's not a reason to have a kid.

      AZ

      Eight years is a bit of a gap. We had 3 girls, separated by 3,3
      and 6 years. Another couple we know had a child "by accident" when all her brothers and sisters were teenagers or older. And remember, that as you get older, the chances of having a child with Downs' syndrome or other problems, increases. Our eldest had her first at 30. The straight possibilities of her child having Downs' were alarmingly high, but other factors reduced them to insignificance. Doug.

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      • #33
        Is having kids worth it?

        On 10 Aug 2004 00:55:37 -0700, azastrea
        <[email protected]> wrote:

        <Snip>
        intelligent and closer to their parents than other kids. They also get to grow up with a lifestyle that having multiple kids doesn't allow, (unless your quite rich).
        Don't you know they're cheaper by the dozen?

        -Tony

        --
        "If the grass appears to be greener on the other side of the fence, it's time
        to fertilize your lawn!"
        Want to jump start your marriage? Consider a Marriage Encounter weekend.
        Check out http://www.wwme.org for more information.

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        • #34
          Is having kids worth it?

          On Tue, 10 Aug 2004 13:40:04 GMT, Tony Miller babbled on about Re: Is having kids worth
          it? proclaiming:
          On 10 Aug 2004 00:55:37 -0700, azastrea <[email protected]> wrote: <Snip>
          intelligent and closer to their parents than other kids. They also get to grow up with a lifestyle that having multiple kids doesn't allow, (unless your quite rich).
          Don't you know they're cheaper by the dozen?
          Yes, but getting to that point is the expensive part.
          Fun, but expensive.

          X-Signature: Vasectomy

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