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  • Opinion Wanted from 2nd Marriage Couples

    My wife and I have been married 15yrs. She told me today that she was
    having lunch with her ex husband this week and hoped I did not mind. I
    asked her, who iniated the meeting, she said she did. What is the purpose?
    She says she wants to remain friends with the father of her 26yr son.

    Is this normal?



  • #2
    Opinion Wanted from 2nd Marriage Couples

    In article <[email protected]>, Bob Moors
    <[email protected]> wrote:
    Is this normal?
    I don't know. My wife's brother remained on good terms with his
    ex-wife after he divorced her. The whole extended family was on good
    terms with both his former and new wife (she brought several grown
    children into the marriage.) When he died of a heart attack in his
    40's the people who comforted each other most were both widows.

    Ted

    Comment


    • #3
      Opinion Wanted from 2nd Marriage Couples

      Bob Moors wrote:
      My wife and I have been married 15yrs. She told me today that she was having lunch with her ex husband this week and hoped I did not mind. I asked her, who iniated the meeting, she said she did. What is the purpose? She says she wants to remain friends with the father of her 26yr son. Is this normal?
      I've only been married once so take that into consideration but I think you
      should ask yourself why you think this could be a problem.

      On the face of it it seems normal to me especially if their relationship
      while parenting their son was cordial but there may be things going on in
      your relationship which could counter that view. I can think of as many
      benign reasons for your wife wanting to stay in touch with her ex as I can
      think of worryng ones.

      Tai



      Comment


      • #4
        Opinion Wanted from 2nd Marriage Couples

        "Bob Moors" <[email protected]> writes:
        My wife and I have been married 15yrs. She told me today that she was having lunch with her ex husband this week and hoped I did not mind. I asked her, who iniated the meeting, she said she did. What is the purpose? She says she wants to remain friends with the father of her 26yr son. Is this normal?
        Having been married to your wife for 15 years, _you_ ought to know
        what is normal for her.

        OK, I know you really meant "is this normal for divorced couples who
        share a son." But why does the answer to that question matter?

        Comment


        • #5
          Opinion Wanted from 2nd Marriage Couples

          Bob Moors wrote:
          My wife and I have been married 15yrs. She told me today that she was having lunch with her ex husband this week and hoped I did not mind. I asked her, who iniated the meeting, she said she did. What is the purpose? She says she wants to remain friends with the father of her 26yr son. Is this normal?
          Sounds healthy.
          Cari

          --
          email:
          cari_p at comcast dot net

          Comment


          • #6
            Opinion Wanted from 2nd Marriage Couples

            By Normal I mean, If you ask 100 couples, would you get a majority that
            thinks one way or the other.

            After her having little contact with her ex over the years and her son is
            grown and on his own, I think the issues is odd. I am also seeking the
            opinions of people who have gone thru divorce. I think most of the ones who
            have replied, this is not the case. I think someone who has been diviorced
            is less likely to feel good about the situation.


            "Doug Anderson" <[email protected]> wrote in message
            news:[email protected]
            "Bob Moors" <[email protected]> writes:
            My wife and I have been married 15yrs. She told me today that she was having lunch with her ex husband this week and hoped I did not mind. I asked her, who iniated the meeting, she said she did. What is the
            purpose?
            She says she wants to remain friends with the father of her 26yr son. Is this normal? Having been married to your wife for 15 years, _you_ ought to know what is normal for her. OK, I know you really meant "is this normal for divorced couples who share a son." But why does the answer to that question matter?

            Comment


            • #7
              Opinion Wanted from 2nd Marriage Couples

              My X and I are on good terms.. he still goes hunting with my family ..
              attends some family functions.. as we share children.. he will always be a
              part of my life.. as far as lunch.. unless there was a specific reason.. I
              doubt I would have lunch with him..

              my hubby now.. would have no problems with my X and I having lunch..

              Kass
              "Bob Moors" <[email protected]> wrote in message
              news:[email protected]
              My wife and I have been married 15yrs. She told me today that she was having lunch with her ex husband this week and hoped I did not mind. I asked her, who iniated the meeting, she said she did. What is the
              purpose?
              She says she wants to remain friends with the father of her 26yr son. Is this normal?

              Comment


              • #8
                Opinion Wanted from 2nd Marriage Couples

                Why is he asking for trouble by his wife having lunch with her X.. they have
                been married for 15 years .. I think she is over him...


                Why make trouble where there doesn't seem to be a reason for any? many
                people remain friends with their X's

                Kass
                "Green" <[email protected]_e_a_r_t_h_l _i_n_k_._n_e_t>
                wrote in message
                news:[email protected] arthlink.net...
                Is she having lunch with her ex to discuss their son? Personally, I would accept no other reason than that if I was in that situation. I think
                you're
                asking for trouble if you'd let her do it for no particular reason. Maybe you should try talking to her about it and tell her it concerns you. Just don't attack her on it or you'll probably end up in an argument. IMO, Teresa "Bob Moors" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected]
                My wife and I have been married 15yrs. She told me today that she was having lunch with her ex husband this week and hoped I did not mind. I asked her, who iniated the meeting, she said she did. What is the
                purpose?
                She says she wants to remain friends with the father of her 26yr son. Is this normal?

                Comment


                • #9
                  Opinion Wanted from 2nd Marriage Couples

                  Did this just come out of the blue after fifteen years or have they had a good
                  relationship all this time?
                  From: "Bob Moors"
                  My wife and I have been married 15yrs. She told me today that she washaving lunch with her ex husband this week and hoped I did not mind. Iasked her, who iniated the meeting, she said she did. What is the purpose?She says she wants to remain friends with the father of her 26yr son.Is this normal?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Opinion Wanted from 2nd Marriage Couples

                    I don't think the person, who asked about this in the first place, would
                    have asked for opinions about it if they didn't have any reservations. I've
                    always been one to trust my instincts.


                    "whisper" <[email protected]> wrote in message
                    news:[email protected]
                    Why is he asking for trouble by his wife having lunch with her X.. they
                    have
                    been married for 15 years .. I think she is over him... Why make trouble where there doesn't seem to be a reason for any? many people remain friends with their X's Kass "Green" <[email protected]_e_a_r_t_h_l _i_n_k_._n_e_t> wrote in message news:[email protected] arthlink.net...
                    Is she having lunch with her ex to discuss their son? Personally, I
                    would
                    accept no other reason than that if I was in that situation. I think you're
                    asking for trouble if you'd let her do it for no particular reason.
                    Maybe
                    you should try talking to her about it and tell her it concerns you.
                    Just
                    don't attack her on it or you'll probably end up in an argument. IMO, Teresa "Bob Moors" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected]
                    My wife and I have been married 15yrs. She told me today that she was having lunch with her ex husband this week and hoped I did not mind.
                    I
                    asked her, who iniated the meeting, she said she did. What is the purpose?
                    She says she wants to remain friends with the father of her 26yr son. Is this normal?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Opinion Wanted from 2nd Marriage Couples

                      As I stated earlier

                      She has had little contact over the years with her Ex. Other than when the
                      family might get togather for support of her son. Now that her son is out
                      of the state and she has little contact with him, she wants to keep in
                      contact with his father. I'm not sure what her goal is.


                      "Tbrghtmn" <[email protected]> wrote in message
                      news:[email protected]
                      Did this just come out of the blue after fifteen years or have they had a
                      good
                      relationship all this time?
                      From: "Bob Moors"My wife and I have been married 15yrs. She told me today that she washaving lunch with her ex husband this week and hoped I did not mind. Iasked her, who iniated the meeting, she said she did. What is the
                      purpose?
                      She says she wants to remain friends with the father of her 26yr son.Is this normal?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Opinion Wanted from 2nd Marriage Couples

                        Bob Moors wrote:
                        As I stated earlier She has had little contact over the years with her Ex. Other than when the family might get togather for support of her son. Now that her son is out of the state and she has little contact with him, she wants to keep in contact with his father. I'm not sure what her goal is.
                        It could be a way for her to make sure that she's not missing any
                        breaking news in her son's life. I don't know if grandkids are in the
                        picture now, someday, or never, but that alone would seem like a good
                        enough reason to stay on good terms with the Ex.


                        "Tbrghtmn" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected]
                        Did this just come out of the blue after fifteen years or have they had a
                        good
                        relationship all this time?
                        From: "Bob Moors"My wife and I have been married 15yrs. She told me today that she washaving lunch with her ex husband this week and hoped I did not mind. Iasked her, who iniated the meeting, she said she did. What is the
                        purpose?
                        She says she wants to remain friends with the father of her 26yr son.Is this normal?

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Opinion Wanted from 2nd Marriage Couples

                          Well I suggest keeping your backbone and making your sentiments very clear to
                          your wife. I think it's odd.
                          From: "Bob Moors" [email protected]
                          As I stated earlierShe has had little contact over the years with her Ex. Other than when thefamily might get togather for support of her son. Now that her son is outof the state and she has little contact with him, she wants to keep incontact with his father. I'm not sure what her goal is."Tbrghtmn" <[email protected]> wrote in messagenews:[email protected]
                          Did this just come out of the blue after fifteen years or have they had a
                          good
                          relationship all this time?
                          From: "Bob Moors"My wife and I have been married 15yrs. She told me today that she washaving lunch with her ex husband this week and hoped I did not mind. Iasked her, who iniated the meeting, she said she did. What is the
                          purpose?
                          She says she wants to remain friends with the father of her 26yr son.Is this normal?

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Opinion Wanted from 2nd Marriage Couples

                            [email protected] (Tbrghtmn) wrote in message news:<[email protected]>...
                            Well I suggest keeping your backbone and making your sentiments very clear to your wife. I think it's odd.
                            From: "Bob Moors" [email protected]As I stated earlierShe has had little contact over the years with her Ex. Other than when thefamily might get togather for support of her son. Now that her son is outof the state and she has little contact with him, she wants to keep incontact with his father. I'm not sure what her goal is."Tbrghtmn" <[email protected]> wrote in messagenews:[email protected]
                            Did this just come out of the blue after fifteen years or have they had a
                            good
                            relationship all this time? >From: "Bob Moors" >My wife and I have been married 15yrs. She told me today that she was >having lunch with her ex husband this week and hoped I did not mind. I >asked her, who iniated the meeting, she said she did. What is the
                            purpose?
                            >She says she wants to remain friends with the father of her 26yr son. > >Is this normal?
                            There is no such thing as normal. I can tell you that when my husband
                            and I divorced, we met for ice cream every Sunday when he returned our
                            son. We updated each other with the upcoming week's events and helped
                            our son transition from mom to dad. As he got older, from time to
                            time we met for coffee (the 3 of us), went out for breakfast, lunch or
                            dinner. We have a son in common and respectfully and gently showed as
                            much love as we could to our son. We were both in other relationships
                            and my boyfriend at the time was envious of the relationship that I
                            had. His ex wife was a heinous ***** and he would have given a limb
                            to have the relationship that I had with my ex. On the other hand, my
                            ex's girlfriend had a bit more trouble with it. She was jealous. Of
                            what, I didn't know. I did not want my husband back, I wanted our son
                            to be with the three of us on occassion. We were and are friends and
                            our son has benefited from that. Today, as an adult, he often thanks
                            me for that. I'm sure if we all lived in the same state, we'd
                            continue to get together. In fact, my current husband likes my ex a
                            lot. He has stayed at our house twice, when our son graduated from
                            high school and when he graduated from college. We all had a blast.
                            His wife was stuffy about it, but hey, you can't please everyone!

                            From time to time I'll ask my son for his father's address or phone
                            number to send him or call him with birthday greetings. He usually
                            gets a big grin and thanks me for caring about his dad. Does it get
                            any better than that???

                            Comment

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