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My Mother Had A Stroke Yesterday! Please Help! Georgia

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  • My Mother Had A Stroke Yesterday! Please Help! Georgia

    My Mother had a stroke yesterday morning. We live about 5 minutes from each other. I called my Director at the daycare I work at. I was upset, a few tears, but she knew that I was scared for my Mom. My Dad passed about 6 months ago. Anyhow, I told my Director that they were running tests and would know if it was in fact a stroke or some other kind of medical problem. I obviously was not going to be able to come to school and take care of my 1 year old class while my Mom is at the hospital alone. I told her I would call her the following morning (today) with an update. She said "okay, but if can, please get some type of paperwork from the hospital with your Mom's full name and admission date when you come back". I do not need to be at work until 12:00 ET today. I haven't called her yet. The hospital would not provide paperwork with my Mother's full name or anything else. They and I needed to be more concerned about the surgery she will need to stop the bleeding in her head. What am I to do? I want to go to the hospital to be with my Mom for the surgery. However, I would miss 2 days work. I won't have a note for yesterday. I'm going C-R-A-Z-Y! This is the last thing that I need to deal with right this moment. Don't they care that my Mom may very pass as well or need full-time care by a professional? Pleeeease Respond ASAP!

  • #2
    You may be entitled to up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave with job protection to care for your mother if ALL of the following are true:

    1. You've worked for the employer for more than 1 years.
    2. You've worked more than 1250 hours in the past year.
    3. Your employer has 50 or more employees within 75 miles of your job site.

    It may appear to be insensitive, but there's no law that prohibits the employer for asking for verification of your absence. If your absence is not covered by FMLA, they don't have to provide you with any leave at all.
    I am not able to respond to private messages. Thanks!


    • #3
      I understand...

      Thank you for your quick response. No, I have only worked for this daycare for 6 months and a few days. I do not have any paid time off until I been employed for 1 year. This industry is a little different. How can I go about getting documentation with my Mothers name and date admitted when the hospital has refused due to Confidential Information and the Hippa law? I asked if they could just state her name and the date and that I the daughter brought her to the hospital and have remained here ever since.


      • #4
        Have you asked the doctor directly for such a note?
        I don't respond to Private Messages unless the moderator specifically refers you to me for that purpose. Thank you.


        • #5
          I spoke to the doctor...

          Yes, I spoke to her doctor in ICU while he was running the tests and waiting for the other doctors (specialist) to come in. They're doing surgery today for a bleed out in her brain. This is all crazy. I have no idea what to do. This seems so silly in my opinion. I'm 40 years old, married and have a beautiful 4 year old son. I have a great resume and fantastic references. This daycare industry really disappoints me. I have never worked in a daycare enviroment before. I have over 16 years experience as a Customer Service and Warranty Administor Manager. Working in an office enviroment is VERY different. My co-workers would be by my side and flowers sent from the company along with anything they could possibly do for me. When the company had to cut back, I was laid off during the second round of lay-off's. I took this position in daycare, because work is hard to find and I'm actually pretty darn good at it. Plus my son is in the center as me....Okay, I'm no longer thinking straight. I've had less than 2 hours sleep. I have no idea what to do and now I'm scared to call my employer to let them know that I need today off as well. It's a cold enviroment. Surprising since we're in the business to take care of the young and innocent. I can't believe I'm actually scared to pick up the phone and call my center director. I'm 40 years old! Why are they so insensitive and demanding? It's not that I have the sniffles or something. This is a life and death situation.


          • #6
            This is a duplicate post, so the poster needs to check both threads for answers.

            Your mom is the #1 priority right now, not the stupid job.

            When she is out of immediate danger, ask for a note from the hospital saying you were there. They are allowed to mention your mom's name in the note (HIPAA does not prohibit this), or they can say "Rose Red was here at XYZ hospital for a life-threatening emergency involving her immediate family member."
            Hospital staff invoke HIPAA a lot where it does not apply, and they interpret the law incorrectly as meaning "don't ever share information, ever" which is incorrect. By the way, it's HIPAA, not Hippa.

            If the employer accepts the note, fine. If they don't, and they fire you, they are taking on the (big) cost of recruiting, hiring, verifying, and training a new employee. Their loss (you might even point that out to them). Even in the current economy, qualified child care professionals are in demand, and you likely won't have any trouble getting a job elsewhere.

            Focus on your family right now. Of course call the employer to let them know you won't be in.


            • #7

              Thank you, TS. Believe it or not. The daycare industry is very slow. More people out of work = less children in daycare. I don't know if my husband and I can afford for me to be out of work without any pay coming in. I'm doubtful this would fall under unemployment benefits. Do I risk it all to be there with my Mom or go to work from 12-5 today? I also have my husband and son to take care of. I wish my Mother could tell me what she would want for me to do. I know she's scared without Dad being there. He didn't pass too long ago and she has never went through anything traumatic without him. I'm so torn.


              • #8
                I tend to ask myself "which decision would I regret more?" and choose the opposite one.

                What would you regret more? Going into work and having your mom pass away when you are not there,
                Or staying with your mom, and possibly losing a job that isn't so great anyway, but knowing you stayed with your mom.

                Jobs are just jobs; they can come and go, and you can always get another one. This is your only mom.


                • #9
                  I don't have legal advice, but I am familiar with the childcare settings. I have worked in childcare for 10+ years and you've caught on to the scary reality of it quickly. Not all centers, but most, are very cold and callus when it comes to their employees, especially the ones with children. If you haven't found already, then you will eventually, that your child means less to them than any other child in that building, because his being sick means you can't work unless you have other means of child care. It's really disgusting, but it rings true from Georgia all the way to Arizona.

                  Personally, you may need the money, but you have to remember that family has to come first. I'm not saying that something is going to happen to your mother, and I pray nothing does, but if something does and you went to work instead, how are you gonna feel about that in 5 or 10 years? GOOD childcare workers are hard to find and they should value you if you've been there for 6 months! That's a good amount of time for most daycares.... You've probably seen your fair share of them in and out in that short time frame. Anyway, you'll find another job, you can't replace your mother!

                  If the above threads don't work, try this: (Someone will correct if I'm wrong!) But can't you have some sort of power of attorney for your mother since she's incapacitated at the moment. And if you have power of attorney can't you say "ok" and sign any necessary paperwork that's HIPPA related and get a paper, not even so lengthy as a letter, stating that she's in the hospital?
                  Last edited by mommy4two; 02-25-2009, 08:26 AM.


                  • #10
                    FYI, it's HIPAA, not HIPPA.

                    The hospital, or doctor, should be able to provide a note with such as has been described in this and the duplicate thread (I'll merge the two when I get a chance) without violating HIPAA. If they will not, then IF your mother is capable of providing written consent for the hospital to disclose her name and admission date to your employer, that will satisfy all HIPAA requirements. If she is not, (and her health comes first of course), then a medical POA as described by the above poster may be a good way to go. The problem with that is that it takes time.
                    The above answer, whatever it is, assumes that no legally binding and enforceable contract or CBA says otherwise. If it does, then the terms of the contract or CBA apply.


                    • #11
                      Sorry for the HIPPA, er HIPAA thing!!! LOL And yes of course those things take time, but in the end, wouldn't she then have a good case for UI if they did fire her?


                      • #12
                        I would think so, yes.
                        The above answer, whatever it is, assumes that no legally binding and enforceable contract or CBA says otherwise. If it does, then the terms of the contract or CBA apply.