LilMtnCbn
03-18-2004, 07:25 AM
http://www.contracostatimes.com/mld/cctimes/living/8206670.htm
Laying claim to love
Mother-daughter bond turns into the real deal
By Paula King
CONTRA COSTA TIMES
As the terrifying turbulence from a heavy storm bounced her airplane last
summer, Jeanne Taylor of Walnut Creek couldn't escape a single idea: She was on
her way to a reunion with a girl she once loved like a daughter.
The joyful prospect of reconnecting with Regina Louise after 25 years gave
Taylor a sense of peace, knowing that even if the plane crashed before it got
to New York and they never reunited in person, the bond was still there.
"I was thinking if I go down at least I'll go down whole because I found my
daughter," Taylor explained.
When she arrived safely, she greeted Louise with a photo album that reflected
their past experiences together all those years before.
For Louise, the reunion was a bit awkward. After all, it had been 25 years
since she had last seen Taylor, and the woman who was the closest thing she'd
ever had to having a mother was no longer the 32-year-old she remembered.
But "each page of the photo album took away a layer of numbness," Louise said.
"It was like I died and came back to life."
This story of long-lost mother-daughter love began in the mid '70s.
After she was abandoned by both of her birth parents, Louise entered Contra
Costa County's foster care system for abused and neglected children and lived
in at least 30 foster homes and children's shelters. Later, she chronicled
these painful adolescent years and her undying quest to find love in her
memoir, "Somebody's Someone" (Warner Books, $23.95).
The book, published in 2003, ends on a joyful note with Louise finally
receiving the unconditional love that she so desperately needed from Taylor,
who was then a counselor at the former Edgar Children's Shelter in Martinez.
Today, Taylor is a 58-year-old certified Microsoft Office master instructor
based in Walnut Creek. She and Louise, who now lives in Berkely, regularly meet
at Broadway Plaza for lunch and shopping excursions. In between writing,
helping foster children and promoting her book, Louise owns two popular Bay
Area salons.
According to Taylor, Louise was always a special child, one who stood out among
other foster children because of her energy, passion and respect.
"I wanted her to have advantages to grow in everything she did," Taylor said.
"I'm so proud that her words touch people's hearts."
Taylor tried to become her foster mother but wasn't able to because she's white
and Louise is African-American. In 1978, interracial foster families and
adoption were forbidden, and the loving duo was separated shortly after that
major disappointment.
Flash forward almost three decades later: The two were brought back together
last summer when an ex-co-worker showed Taylor a Contra Costa Times article
about the book.
The ex-co-worker contacted Taylor in rural Alabama and Louise locally. They got
in touch immediately via phone and e-mail. After the emotional reunion last
summer in New York City, Taylor finally adopted Louise in a Martinez courtroom
during the holiday season. Louise often wears a gold locket that holds a
picture of them embracing each other on that memorable day.
"We have experienced a miracle," Taylor said. "You embrace that with your whole
heart."
In the days following the reunion, Louise was very emotional. She wondered how
to let Taylor spoil her the way only a mother can.
"I didn't know how to let her be nice to me. Much later, I would realize that I
already paid the price," Louise said. "I've paid people to stay in one way or
another."
The mother and daughter are now an inspiration to others. They finish each
other's sentences and hold hands as if time and distance never separated them.
They have been on several talk shows including NPR's "All Things Considered,"
and there is serious talk of a movie deal. Louise has begun writing the sequel
to "Somebody's Someone."
Although they share a strong bond, adjusting to this new mother-daughter
relationship hasn't been effortless. They are in therapy together to deal with
a generation gap, different value systems and related adjustments to this major
life change.
"Love is never wasted and neither is having that constant hope," Taylor said.
"She held that love and hope like a priestess."
Louise says she was able to accomplish many things in her adult life because
Taylor gave her a positive glimpse of her future self during the formative
years. But the writer and entrepreneur never felt complete until she became a
daughter.
"I was feeling shame for the book. At 39, I still wanted someone to claim me.
There was no one to see my growth from the beginning," she said. "When she said
she was proud of me, I opened myself up to the possibility of being proud of
myself. I was so affected by her love for me."
Even though she wasn't even a teenager when they lost touch, Louise still
remembers the gentleness, sincerity and grace of her adopted mother. Louise has
imitated those qualities throughout her life in order to keep Taylor's spirit
alive.
"It's painful to love someone and not be allowed to be with them," Taylor said.
"It's a little bit different now. We have the freedom to be together."
Today, they do practically everything side by side. They play board games,
watch the sunset, walk on the beach and read books as a pair.
"I have never met anyone in my life as capable of unconditional love as my
mother," Louise said. "I bring the excitement to the relationship and she
brings the love. I have never felt so nurtured."
-------------------------
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail . . . but, a true friend will
be sitting next to you saying, "Damn . . . that was fun!"
-----Unknown
Laying claim to love
Mother-daughter bond turns into the real deal
By Paula King
CONTRA COSTA TIMES
As the terrifying turbulence from a heavy storm bounced her airplane last
summer, Jeanne Taylor of Walnut Creek couldn't escape a single idea: She was on
her way to a reunion with a girl she once loved like a daughter.
The joyful prospect of reconnecting with Regina Louise after 25 years gave
Taylor a sense of peace, knowing that even if the plane crashed before it got
to New York and they never reunited in person, the bond was still there.
"I was thinking if I go down at least I'll go down whole because I found my
daughter," Taylor explained.
When she arrived safely, she greeted Louise with a photo album that reflected
their past experiences together all those years before.
For Louise, the reunion was a bit awkward. After all, it had been 25 years
since she had last seen Taylor, and the woman who was the closest thing she'd
ever had to having a mother was no longer the 32-year-old she remembered.
But "each page of the photo album took away a layer of numbness," Louise said.
"It was like I died and came back to life."
This story of long-lost mother-daughter love began in the mid '70s.
After she was abandoned by both of her birth parents, Louise entered Contra
Costa County's foster care system for abused and neglected children and lived
in at least 30 foster homes and children's shelters. Later, she chronicled
these painful adolescent years and her undying quest to find love in her
memoir, "Somebody's Someone" (Warner Books, $23.95).
The book, published in 2003, ends on a joyful note with Louise finally
receiving the unconditional love that she so desperately needed from Taylor,
who was then a counselor at the former Edgar Children's Shelter in Martinez.
Today, Taylor is a 58-year-old certified Microsoft Office master instructor
based in Walnut Creek. She and Louise, who now lives in Berkely, regularly meet
at Broadway Plaza for lunch and shopping excursions. In between writing,
helping foster children and promoting her book, Louise owns two popular Bay
Area salons.
According to Taylor, Louise was always a special child, one who stood out among
other foster children because of her energy, passion and respect.
"I wanted her to have advantages to grow in everything she did," Taylor said.
"I'm so proud that her words touch people's hearts."
Taylor tried to become her foster mother but wasn't able to because she's white
and Louise is African-American. In 1978, interracial foster families and
adoption were forbidden, and the loving duo was separated shortly after that
major disappointment.
Flash forward almost three decades later: The two were brought back together
last summer when an ex-co-worker showed Taylor a Contra Costa Times article
about the book.
The ex-co-worker contacted Taylor in rural Alabama and Louise locally. They got
in touch immediately via phone and e-mail. After the emotional reunion last
summer in New York City, Taylor finally adopted Louise in a Martinez courtroom
during the holiday season. Louise often wears a gold locket that holds a
picture of them embracing each other on that memorable day.
"We have experienced a miracle," Taylor said. "You embrace that with your whole
heart."
In the days following the reunion, Louise was very emotional. She wondered how
to let Taylor spoil her the way only a mother can.
"I didn't know how to let her be nice to me. Much later, I would realize that I
already paid the price," Louise said. "I've paid people to stay in one way or
another."
The mother and daughter are now an inspiration to others. They finish each
other's sentences and hold hands as if time and distance never separated them.
They have been on several talk shows including NPR's "All Things Considered,"
and there is serious talk of a movie deal. Louise has begun writing the sequel
to "Somebody's Someone."
Although they share a strong bond, adjusting to this new mother-daughter
relationship hasn't been effortless. They are in therapy together to deal with
a generation gap, different value systems and related adjustments to this major
life change.
"Love is never wasted and neither is having that constant hope," Taylor said.
"She held that love and hope like a priestess."
Louise says she was able to accomplish many things in her adult life because
Taylor gave her a positive glimpse of her future self during the formative
years. But the writer and entrepreneur never felt complete until she became a
daughter.
"I was feeling shame for the book. At 39, I still wanted someone to claim me.
There was no one to see my growth from the beginning," she said. "When she said
she was proud of me, I opened myself up to the possibility of being proud of
myself. I was so affected by her love for me."
Even though she wasn't even a teenager when they lost touch, Louise still
remembers the gentleness, sincerity and grace of her adopted mother. Louise has
imitated those qualities throughout her life in order to keep Taylor's spirit
alive.
"It's painful to love someone and not be allowed to be with them," Taylor said.
"It's a little bit different now. We have the freedom to be together."
Today, they do practically everything side by side. They play board games,
watch the sunset, walk on the beach and read books as a pair.
"I have never met anyone in my life as capable of unconditional love as my
mother," Louise said. "I bring the excitement to the relationship and she
brings the love. I have never felt so nurtured."
-------------------------
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail . . . but, a true friend will
be sitting next to you saying, "Damn . . . that was fun!"
-----Unknown
