I live in Texas.My son is 9 yrs old.I just recieved calls from my exhusband and his sister that he wants me to release him of his rights as a father and stop enforcing child suport that he has never paid.He is in jail for it.He never visited or showed up for the visits.I know I will never get the money for my son.Because my ex cannot hold a job long enough.So I guess my question is How do I do this relinquish rights and child support stopped on my own?
Please no stupid remarks.

I live in Texas.My son is 9 yrs old.I just recieved calls from my exhusband and his sister that he wants me to release him of his rights as a father and stop enforcing child suport that he has never paid.He is in jail for it.He never visited or showed up for the visits.I know I will never get the money for my son.Because my ex cannot hold a job long enough.So I guess my question is How do I do this relinquish rights and child support stopped on my own?
Please no stupid remarks.

You don't. Even if you both want it, a judge has to approve it. Based on the info you are giving, it won't happen.

If you were resigned to never getting the money, why did you go after him for the unpaid child support in the first place? Are you or have you ever received government benefits for the child? If so, you no longer have a say in the matter. If not, you can have his child support reduced possibly even stopped all together. You can also "forgive" the arrears.

Why do anything for this person? Let him rot in jail. You'd have to have a spouse that was willing to adopt your child before a judge would let him off. I'd just go on about my life and protect my child from this ugliness. Don't talk about the dead beat dad around him unless he asks. When the father decides to grow up and take responsibility, he'll pay. I always feel so badly for the kids when parents decide the kids don't need them. Generally because they don't want to hurt their pocket books. There is an endless supply of parents out there like that.

Why do anything for this person? Let him rot in jail. You'd have to have a spouse that was willing to adopt your child before a judge would let him off. I'd just go on about my life and protect my child from this ugliness. Don't talk about the dead beat dad around him unless he asks. When the father decides to grow up and take responsibility, he'll pay. I always feel so badly for the kids when parents decide the kids don't need them. Generally because they don't want to hurt their pocket books. There is an endless supply of parents out there like that.

It is a common misconception that the ONLY way to terminate a parents rights is for a step parent to adopt. That is NOT true in ANY state. Every state has provisions for termination of rights without adoption.

MOST states do require it unless a very limited list of requirements are met (such as child molestation and child endangerment), but TEXAS does not require step parent adoption AT ALL. It makes it EASIER, but it's not REQUIRED.

What I don't understand is HOW dad ended up in jail for failure to provide support if MOM did not enforce the order. That's not the way it works. In order to incarcerate him, there has to be a complaining party. If it wasn't mom, it would have to be the state. Even if it was the state, mom would have either needed to ask for assistance enforcing the order or the child would have had to received government assistance. If the child did or still does receive state aid, MOM no longer gets a say in matters concerning child support.

The state is NOT going to allow dad's rights to be terminated and then turn around and spend tax dollars on the child.

Thanks everyone for your responses to my post.This was not my idea for the father to throw in the towel.It was his idea him and his sister contacted me to make a deal.You scratch my back I'll scratch yours kind of deal.
I am not married.I did recieve government aide at one time when my son was a baby 8 years ago. I no longer need that help even if my ex is not involved with our son..I have a job and full medical and dental on our son.
There is another woman that has his child too.She uses government aide to this day.So even if I gave my ex his wish he would only be half out of the boat.

Thanks everyone for your responses to my post.This was not my idea for the father to throw in the towel.It was his idea him and his sister contacted me to make a deal.You scratch my back I'll scratch yours kind of deal.
I am not married.I did recieve government aide at one time when my son was a baby 8 years ago. I no longer need that help even if my ex is not involved with our son..I have a job and full medical and dental on our son.
There is another woman that has his child too.She uses government aide to this day.So even if I gave my ex his wish he would only be half out of the boat.

He is too deep in the hole for any judge to just let him off. IF he ever got somewhere near being even on the support and if you agreed, MAYBE, but to even TRY right now is a waste of time and money. If he and his sister want to persue the matter in court, let them. The first question he will need to ask is how he came up with the money to file a motion with the court if he can't afford to pay his child support.

Thank you so much for the advice everyone has offered to me.I really appreciate it.
I started to go to District Clerks office in Dallas to see if anything could be done.But,I feel it would be useless time and money wise.
Does anyone think I should contact the sister to tell her to file the papers if she wants it so bad for her brother?I have no idea how long he would be held in there.He has been in there since 2/14/06.
I know he was suppose to be on a work furlough by the courts and he never got a job.Once again ya'll thanks from DFW Texas.

Thank you so much for the advice everyone has offered to me.I really appreciate it.
I started to go to District Clerks office in Dallas to see if anything could be done.But,I feel it would be useless time and money wise.
Does anyone think I should contact the sister to tell her to file the papers if she wants it so bad for her brother?I have no idea how long he would be held in there.He has been in there since 2/14/06.
I know he was suppose to be on a work furlough by the courts and he never got a job.Once again ya'll thanks from DFW Texas.
My nonlegal advice would be that the next time the sister contacts you about any of this, that you tell her to shove it where the sun don't shine. He was big enough to create a child without his sister's "help" (I assume :p ) he is beg enough to clean up is legal mess on his own. It's none of her business. Sorry, I had this sort of situation a looooong time ago. Ticked me off then, and still ticks me off now. :)

I will do that and I do appreciate your response. :)

My nonlegal advice would be that the next time the sister contacts you about any of this, that you tell her to shove it where the sun don't shine. He was big enough to create a child without his sister's "help" (I assume :p ) he is beg enough to clean up is legal mess on his own. It's none of her business. Sorry, I had this sort of situation a looooong time ago. Ticked me off then, and still ticks me off now. :)

Better yet, tell her if she REALLY wants to help her brother out, she can start paying his damn child support!

The next time I hear from them I will tell them.Your right the sooner she starts the $$ for our son the sooner her brother can get out.I also was going to mention to her or him that they could refinance the home or cars and get everything paid quick.

The next time I hear from them I will tell them.Your right the sooner she starts the $$ for our son the sooner her brother can get out.I also was going to mention to her or him that they could refinance the home or cars and get everything paid quick.

I'm sure when you mention it, she'll say something along the lines of "I'm not going to pay HIS child support". When she does, tell her, in that case, BUTT OUT! Make it very clear that paying the child support is the only way she CAN help him as for as your concerned, otherwise, her brother can rot in jail as far as you are concerned.

I agree with most allthe other posts, let the bastard rot. And I would tell the sister the next time she calls to pay the support and he would get out. Situations like this are sickening. I work at out county's public defender's office and it's unreal the number ofmen out there with five and more children to different women. Unfortunately, the only time our domestic relations office puts them in jail is when the women are on assistance. My best friend has two children and is owed about $100,000.00 from two fathers of her children. She has worked minimum wage jobs and has not been on assistance so they never went after the pricks. She has been escorted out of the courthouse by the sheriff twice after going up to give the addresses and try to make them do something about the situation.

This is kind of turining into a rally with a lot of contradictions. On one hand you say to tell the sister to "butt out" yet on the other you want her to pay the support?? Decide which way you want it. You wanted her to be involved and help pay the support? It is by no means her responsibility.

I think jailing someone for not paying CS is both ridiculous and not effective. I see this often and those same mothers are back in court over and over again, still have received no money and will not be any time soon. There are more practical and effective ways to enforce non payment issues. But there will always be states with radicals who for their own political advancement will encourage jailing someone for not paying CS. Anyone who looks at the results of this will see it is FAR from effective.

We have only heard one side of the story here. So although we can offer legal advice, opinions really mean nothing because I am sure the fathers side of the story is drastically different from the posters.

Legally your chance of getting his rights terminated are slim to none, as are your chances or receiving a payment in the near future. He will be jailed for approx 3-6 months depending on your state and then released under the pretenses of continuing employment at a mandated and predetermined location. Up to 83% of his income will intially go to his arrears and this will continue until he has decreased his amount owed by at least 20%. Then the percentages of his income that is deducted for CS will slowly decrease back to a "normal" rate only if all requirements are met. The case will be on the 3-4 month track and reviewed often. (That is how if SHOULD work, or at least how the courts will write it up)

In reality he will get aggrevated because he will have no money after CS is deducted, he will hate his job because typically the jobs the courts mandate are NOt desirable and since he will most likely not see his children because he has no means to care for them with the income he has left, he will quit his job, move away. **In CA 59% of men who were jailed at one time for nonpayment of CS are now "off the map." Living somewhere working under the table with no intention on ever coming back**

So you can see why the idea of "letting him rot in jail" is only costing us taxpayers more money and doing absolutely NO GOOD. Lets stop the rally and be realistic. I don't think my tax dollars should go to support a group of losers who cant supposrt their children and in the end the kids still get nothing and they deserve more.

Sis has no business in the matter and certainly no legal standing, but she is free to pay on her brother's behalf to get him out or butt out. In the event she wants to pay (yeah, right) her involvement should be limited to sending the money and to keep harassment to herself. If she wants to try to intimidate the mom, mom can get a restraining order. Dad is in jail where he needs to be for continuous contempt of court in failing to follow or have legally modified court order. Maybe not effective in getting CS paid or keeping dad's in their kids lives, but contempt of court is contempt of court.

This is kind of turining into a rally with a lot of contradictions. On one hand you say to tell the sister to "butt out" yet on the other you want her to pay the support?? Decide which way you want it. You wanted her to be involved and help pay the support? It is by no means her responsibility.

I think jailing someone for not paying CS is both ridiculous and not effective. I see this often and those same mothers are back in court over and over again, still have received no money and will not be any time soon. There are more practical and effective ways to enforce non payment issues. But there will always be states with radicals who for their own political advancement will encourage jailing someone for not paying CS. Anyone who looks at the results of this will see it is FAR from effective.

We have only heard one side of the story here. So although we can offer legal advice, opinions really mean nothing because I am sure the fathers side of the story is drastically different from the posters.

Legally your chance of getting his rights terminated are slim to none, as are your chances or receiving a payment in the near future. He will be jailed for approx 3-6 months depending on your state and then released under the pretenses of continuing employment at a mandated and predetermined location. Up to 83% of his income will intially go to his arrears and this will continue until he has decreased his amount owed by at least 20%. Then the percentages of his income that is deducted for CS will slowly decrease back to a "normal" rate only if all requirements are met. The case will be on the 3-4 month track and reviewed often. (That is how if SHOULD work, or at least how the courts will write it up)

In reality he will get aggrevated because he will have no money after CS is deducted, he will hate his job because typically the jobs the courts mandate are NOt desirable and since he will most likely not see his children because he has no means to care for them with the income he has left, he will quit his job, move away. **In CA 59% of men who were jailed at one time for nonpayment of CS are now "off the map." Living somewhere working under the table with no intention on ever coming back**

So you can see why the idea of "letting him rot in jail" is only costing us taxpayers more money and doing absolutely NO GOOD. Lets stop the rally and be realistic. I don't think my tax dollars should go to support a group of losers who cant supposrt their children and in the end the kids still get nothing and they deserve more.

What should men who have children and dont support them have to face? You say no jail but really what else is there? I dont mean these men who are trying and dont make enough and who have bad circumstances, I am talking about the ones like mine who have said "I will sit in jail for the rest of my life before I pay you a penny?" Do they get a free ride? You dont like the current answer but do you have a different resolve? One that WILL solve the problem?

What should men who have children and dont support them have to face? You say no jail but really what else is there? I dont mean these men who are trying and dont make enough and who have bad circumstances, I am talking about the ones like mine who have said "I will sit in jail for the rest of my life before I pay you a penny?" Do they get a free ride? You dont like the current answer but do you have a different resolve? One that WILL solve the problem?

I have the perfect solution for dealing parents (both men and women) that would rather rot in jail for life as opposed to supporting their children. Make failure to provide support a capital case. Then EVERYBODY wins. NCP gets their wish to die in jail without ever paying their child support and the CP will start actually receiving support in the form of Social Security death benefits.

This is kind of turining into a rally with a lot of contradictions. On one hand you say to tell the sister to "butt out" yet on the other you want her to pay the support?? Decide which way you want it. You wanted her to be involved and help pay the support? It is by no means her responsibility.

I think jailing someone for not paying CS is both ridiculous and not effective. I see this often and those same mothers are back in court over and over again, still have received no money and will not be any time soon. There are more practical and effective ways to enforce non payment issues. But there will always be states with radicals who for their own political advancement will encourage jailing someone for not paying CS. Anyone who looks at the results of this will see it is FAR from effective.

We have only heard one side of the story here. So although we can offer legal advice, opinions really mean nothing because I am sure the fathers side of the story is drastically different from the posters.

Legally your chance of getting his rights terminated are slim to none, as are your chances or receiving a payment in the near future. He will be jailed for approx 3-6 months depending on your state and then released under the pretenses of continuing employment at a mandated and predetermined location. Up to 83% of his income will intially go to his arrears and this will continue until he has decreased his amount owed by at least 20%. Then the percentages of his income that is deducted for CS will slowly decrease back to a "normal" rate only if all requirements are met. The case will be on the 3-4 month track and reviewed often. (That is how if SHOULD work, or at least how the courts will write it up)

In reality he will get aggrevated because he will have no money after CS is deducted, he will hate his job because typically the jobs the courts mandate are NOt desirable and since he will most likely not see his children because he has no means to care for them with the income he has left, he will quit his job, move away. **In CA 59% of men who were jailed at one time for nonpayment of CS are now "off the map." Living somewhere working under the table with no intention on ever coming back**

So you can see why the idea of "letting him rot in jail" is only costing us taxpayers more money and doing absolutely NO GOOD. Lets stop the rally and be realistic. I don't think my tax dollars should go to support a group of losers who cant supposrt their children and in the end the kids still get nothing and they deserve more. Well, what do you suggest? I agree with your logic, so how do we fix the problem?

Update!! I spoke with my ex he is on work furlough he has to report to the jail at 4pm everyday.He still is not working and still wants to give up our son.Only if I pay for it.I don't have the money $200.00 an hr for an attorney.Geezers!!!!!

I am happy you are getting some where, if you have read my threads you would know I am excited for you (wish I was at that point) as this is just not fair to our kids......

I am not sure of a solution to this MAJOR problem. But I do know one thing, I go to work everyday and pay my bills while caring for my child. I don;t want to pay for someone else's. (Nor should anyone with who works hard for what they have)

With scum bags milking the system there is NO end in site or any solution that will work. I just see jail as being a complete waste of money and time. I mean the CP is still left without a dime, as you saw in her update, and the NCP sits and rots for a couple months then starts all over.

Getting some politcal leaders into office who have a clue and are willing to make some changes to a lagging system without being afraid of loosing their advancement would sure help!

I am not sure of a solution to this MAJOR problem. But I do know one thing, I go to work everyday and pay my bills while caring for my child. I don;t want to pay for someone else's. (Nor should anyone with who works hard for what they have)

With scum bags milking the system there is NO end in site or any solution that will work. I just see jail as being a complete waste of money and time. I mean the CP is still left without a dime, as you saw in her update, and the NCP sits and rots for a couple months then starts all over.

Getting some politcal leaders into office who have a clue and are willing to make some changes to a lagging system without being afraid of loosing their advancement would sure help!

There are some parents that only pay their child support for fear of going to jail. If that were taken away as an option, the number of deadbeats would skyrocket. The percentage of parents that would rather rot in jail than pay is very small compared to those who only pay to stay out of jail.

I don't like MY money going to support people that chose to have children they can't afford anymore than you. But, if I have to pay, I damn well want to see someone punished for it. Even if it means spending more of MY money to incarcerate them.

The vast majority of parents that do end up in jail for non-payment miraculously come up with whatever amount is needed to be released. For a parent to spend more than a few days in jail is very rare. Many times, they have the money to pay when they appear in front of the judge. The only reason they end up behind bars is because the judge is fed up. They spend a few nights in jail before being allowed to pay and be released, teaches most of them that jail is NOT where they want to be.
Some counties do have a good solution. If a parent choses not to pay, they go to jail. But instead of just sitting there rotting, they are put to work. They do jobs such as construction that the county would normally contract out. Instead of the normal prison wages of a few dollars a month, they are paid decent wages (between $10-$15 an hour). But since they are a guest of the state, the normal garnishment rules do not apply. The majority of what they earn goes to pay the child support bill, a few dollars are put into the prisoners account and the rest goes back to the county/state to pay for the persons room and board.

Personally, I think it's a GREAT solution. Everybody wins. The child support gets paid, the state isn't out the money to house the non paying parent and they save a huge amount of money on getting needed work done that would normally cost a substantially higher amount if it were contracted out to the private sector.

The problem is, it HAS to be completely voluntary. Otherwise it is tantamount to "debtor's prison", which is unconstitutional. If it were ever made a mandatory punishment, it would only be a matter of time before people were being thrown in jail and made to work in order to pay off the Visa bill.

However, judges CAN make the "choice" a very easy one to make. Go to jail and work off the debt or be locked in a 10 X 10 cell 23 hours a day in solitary until you come up with the money another way.

Again thanks for all responses.My ex asked me if yesterday if he could see our son one last time.I told him not at the jail.He said at Mcdonalds before he had to go in for furlough.He said he would call me back as for as times he never called back.So see like I have always known he is not interested.I even tried to tell him about how our son is succeeding in school he cut me off right in the middle of what I was saying.He does'nt care.

Again thanks for all responses.My ex asked me if yesterday if he could see our son one last time.I told him not at the jail.He said at Mcdonalds before he had to go in for furlough.He said he would call me back as for as times he never called back.So see like I have always known he is not interested.I even tried to tell him about how our son is succeeding in school he cut me off right in the middle of what I was saying.He does'nt care.

If he does call back using the "one last time" line, don't do it. The majority of the time the question, "Can I see the kid[s] one last time?", is a bad omen. When a person says this (and means it), it is a sign of desperation and a desperate person is capable of anything.

My ex showed up at 2:30 am so drunk he couldn't stand up and asked if he could see the kids "one last time" because he would be killing himself as soon as he left my house. Other than the fact that he hadn't seen the kids in 2 or 3 YEARS and they wouldn't have a clue as to who he was, I didn't think that the kids ONLY memory of their father need to be one where he was falling down drunk and speaking incoherently (even though it would be an ACCURATE depiction). In the end, it turned out to be just one more promise he didn't keep. I wasn't surprised, since it seemed to be a running theme for him, but I was still disappointed. ;)

The point is, if he feels like he is out of options, there is no telling what he might do.

See Ceara that is where we differ...If I'm to pay I'd rather see the children get the money, over the idea of "punishing" someone. And majority of the cases, they do not come up with money prior to release. In fact, majority of the cases, the NCP just goes back and forth ...jail..court..home..jail..work..home..etc.

I am not putting down your solution idea, but of course that is going to cost the taxpayers money, having them work while in prison to pay of CS. Who is paying for the food they eat or the beds they sleep on? Who is payng for the van they take to get to work? or the supervisor watching over them? etc.etc.

Perhaps not having children with scumbags who don't pay their bills would be a good start. I am not emotional about this as it seems you are. I am trying to establish the thought in people's minds that jailing people for nonpayment of CS statistically does not reep any benefits, rather costs the state money. And like I said earlier I 'd rather see the money go to the children rather than to support the NCP, isn't that the point to support the child?

It does not matter what type of a scumbag any person is, they still have a responsibility to their child, before I had kids I was not making the best choices, since the birth of my first child I straightened up, You are giving advice on preventing this not what to do about it now. This is nothing personal to you but you still havent said what should we do? You say jail isnt the answer but you are not realizing is there is no other LEGAL answer. I have an answer to the solution but cutting off dead beats limbs is not legal therefore I cant possibly complain about having to pay for these jerks to be in prison. You are very right in the sense that they go back and forth and that is where Cearas idea is great, keep them there, make them work everyday of their life and they pay their own way in jail and the kids get the rest.....

See Ceara that is where we differ...If I'm to pay I'd rather see the children get the money, over the idea of "punishing" someone. And majority of the cases, they do not come up with money prior to release. In fact, majority of the cases, the NCP just goes back and forth ...jail..court..home..jail..work..home..etc.

I am not putting down your solution idea, but of course that is going to cost the taxpayers money, having them work while in prison to pay of CS. Who is paying for the food they eat or the beds they sleep on? Who is payng for the van they take to get to work? or the supervisor watching over them? etc.etc.

Perhaps not having children with scumbags who don't pay their bills would be a good start. I am not emotional about this as it seems you are. I am trying to establish the thought in people's minds that jailing people for nonpayment of CS statistically does not reep any benefits, rather costs the state money. And like I said earlier I 'd rather see the money go to the children rather than to support the NCP, isn't that the point to support the child?

The thing is not only are tax payers footing the bill to incarcerate the deadbeats, we're ALSO paying for the kids. The majority of cases where the deadbeat end up in jail, the kids are on public assistance.

You put the deadbeat in a prison work program, THEY are the ones paying the costs.

Not only does the state keep part of the prisoners wages for the expenses related to housing them, feeding them and taking care of them, the overall expenses related to getting necessary work done (like road construction) is GREATLY reduced. By having the deadbeats do the work, it is only costing the state $15-$20 per man hour (that includes the amount the prisoner earns and all costs related to using prison labor), as opposed to the $60-$100 + per man hour that the state would have to pay a private contracter to do the same job.

It's a win-win situation. The child support gets paid, the state saves money while getting much needed work done and the taxpayers aren't left to support all of the people affected by the deadbeats failure to pay child support.

There is prison in Arizona where the warden has the right idea. The prison is 100% self-supporting AND actually turns a profit. The prisoners live in military surplus tents, make their OWN prison uniforms using irregular material donated or bought at a HUGE discount from the supplier (it's even dyed pink so the prisoners are easy to spot), they grow their own food (with the excess being sold to cover other prison expenses) and they manufacture various products that are sold at cut rate prices because of the cheap labor. THAT is the way a prison SHOULD be run.

Somehow, over the years, criminals have stopped being treated as CRIMINALS and started being pampered instead. Most prisons provide a criminal with a FREE climate controlled place to live, 3 meals a day, cable tv, fitness and recreation facilities, FREE dental and medical care, FREE education (not only HS education but COLLEGE DEGREES) and pretty much anything else their little (cold black dried up) hearts desire.

That more than any of us will EVER get. I WORKED my *** off for EVERYTHING I have. I was raised to believe that doing nothing was NOT an option and you have to WORK for the things you want (but being raised by a Naval Officer will do that to a person).