LilMtnCbn
02-23-2004, 06:51 AM
http://www.sacbee.com/content/lifestyle/story/8306984p-9237451c.html
The fight for Nathaniel
Parents who lost a custody dispute take their case to the Web and the faithful
By Jennifer Garza
Published 2:15 a.m. PST Saturday, February 21, 2004
The weeks are passing since she saw Nathaniel for the last time, but Jennifer
Ballard still stays awake at night thinking about him.
She misses him so much that she hasn't had the heart or the energy to move his
toys from the living room or the bedding from his crib. His cracker crumbs lie
on the tray of his high chair exactly where they had fallen on his last morning
here. His sippy cup is unwashed.
On the advice of her therapist, Ballard started taking long walks through the
Grass Valley neighborhood where she lives with her husband, Brad, and their
6-year-old daughter, Riley. Ballard uses this time to talk to God.
"I don't see any good in it, so I ask God why," says Ballard, sitting on the
sofa in their living room on a recent morning. "I keep asking him to help me
understand."
Ballard is having difficulty understanding why she and her husband lost custody
of the baby boy they raised from the day after he was born until he was 11
months old. The Ballards believed the boy they named Nathaniel, meaning "gift
from God," was their son. They were in the process of adopting him.
But Casey Johnson, the birth father, claimed the baby's mother did not tell him
that she had placed their son up for adoption and filed for custody. A court
battle ensued. In October, a Nevada County Superior Court judge granted custody
to Johnson. Last month, in a meeting at their church, the Ballards handed over
Nathaniel.
Since then, Ballard's faith in God, which began more than two decades ago on
her mother's lap, has been shaken. Her husband describes it this way: "There
are days when you don't want to get out of bed."
But they have not given up.
Two weeks ago, the couple filed an appeal. The Ballards, active in the Assembly
of God church, have also turned to the evangelical community.
The story of baby Nathaniel has been spread by church members who have e-mailed
news stories about the Ballards to friends across the country. Many have
written to express their support and some have offered financial assistance.
The Pentecostal Evangel, a national Assembly of God publication, wrote about
their plight. Brad Ballard created a Web site - www.babynate.org - so people
could keep track of developments in the case and pray for Nathaniel.
Says Brad Ballard: "This may not turn out the way we want. We may not get Nate
back ... but we know that God wants us to do everything we can."
Not everyone is pleased with the Ballards' decision to publicly discuss the
case.
"I find some of the things the Ballards are doing questionable," says John
Edwards, a Yuba City attorney who represented Casey Johnson. "They've put the
baby on the Internet for their own purposes. The child shouldn't be exposed to
this type of thing."
The Ballards live in a small, cozy home in Grass Valley. Their house looks like
many with young kids - toys on the front lawn, Disney videos on the living room
shelf, family photos on the walls.
The Ballards have been married 12 years. They met when they were teenagers
attending a church youth group. It was not, however, love at first sight. The
two say they did not even like each other at the time. Ten years later, they
met again when their best friends married. This time, the two hit it off. Two
years later, they married.
The Ballards say they always knew they wanted a big family. But they were
unable to conceive a child. In December 1997, the couple adopted their
daughter, Riley, through a private independent adoption.
The family made plans for a bigger family and a life in the ministry. Brad
Ballard, 36, works at a store while attending Trinity Life Bible College in
Sacramento in hopes of becoming an ordained minister. Jennifer Ballard, 32, is
a stay-at-home mom.
Last year, they heard through a friend that another baby might be placed for
adoption. The Ballards were interested.
One day after Nathaniel was born, his birth father went to the hospital. The
Ballards say they didn't think anything of this - their daughter's birth father
had also visited his daughter after she was born. "We thought he was just there
to see him and that was it," said Brad Ballard.
But Edwards says his client made it clear that he wanted his son. The legal
battle started. Edwards says the Ballards prolonged the court case by asking
for such things as a DNA test to determine paternity. The results took several
months.
"The Ballards brought this on themselves," says Edwards, who also says that the
Ballards unfairly kept Johnson from being with his own son.
But the Ballards say that given the situation - Johnson was married to another
woman when he fathered Nathaniel - they believed a DNA test was necessary.
The Ballards also say Johnson did little to contact his son and that his work
history and criminal record - he pleaded guilty to felony burglary, according
to court records - make him an unfit father.
"All of this ... is the culmination of his inability to handle his own life
appropriately," says Brad Ballard.
Edwards, Johnson's attorney, dismissed accusations that Johnson is unfit. "Many
people have police records, but that doesn't determine fitness to have a
child," says Edwards.
Johnson does not want to be interviewed, according to Edwards.
The birth mother supported the Ballards during the custody dispute. She now
lives in Texas.
Kim Rhinehelder, development director for Sierra Adoption Services in
Sacramento, says it is rare for birth parents to contest adoptions.
"Nationwide, the number is less than 1 percent," says Rhinehelder.
Her agency is a private nonprofit that specializes in placing children in the
foster care system. It does not do independent adoptions. Rhinehelder says news
stories about birth parents contesting adoption "are every parent's worst
nightmare. People get afraid to adopt but this is rare. ... It's tragic for
everyone involved."
The court sided with the birth father. Plans were made to transition the baby
to his father. The Ballards went home to prepare for their final weeks with
Nathaniel.
How do you say goodbye?
Emotionally exhausted, Jennifer Ballard didn't know what to do. So she took
lots of photos of Nate, hugged and kissed him as much as she could and kept up
her journal that she hopes he will read one day.
"I want him to know that we wanted him so badly," she says.
On his last morning with the Ballards, Nathaniel's routine was the same. He ate
breakfast, he played with his sister, he laughed a lot. He was also showing
signs of getting a cold. Even now, Jennifer Ballard wonders if he is feeling
better.
Church has always been a comforting place for the Ballards, a place for
everyone in the family. Brad Ballard is a Sunday school teacher and leads the
music during worship service. Jennifer Ballard teaches Missionettes, a
Christian scouting group for girls. Riley attends Sunday School. Nathaniel
spent his time with Jennifer or in the nursery.
In a strange twist of fate, the most difficult day of their life happened at
their church.
The Ballards wanted to have the hand-over at the church because they felt it
was a place where Nathaniel felt comfortable. At 1 p.m. Jan. 17 , the Ballards
and a few close family members and friends drove to the Grass Valley Assembly
of God. They said their goodbyes in the nursery.
"I cried and kissed him as much as I could. I told him that he belonged to
God," says Jennifer Ballard.
The Ballards did not give the baby to Casey Johnson directly. Instead, they
handed him to their pastor, the Rev. Brian A. Johnson, who then gave Nathaniel
to his birth father.
"It's something they don't prepare you for in bible school," says the pastor,
remembering that day. "Brad and Jennifer were crushed."
The Ballards cried and held each other as their pastor took Nathaniel away.
It was the last time they saw him.
One month later, the Ballards say they are determined to fight for Nathaniel
even though they know the odds are against them. A national law firm, Pillsbury
Winthrop, has agreed to represent the Ballards pro bono.
"It's an uphill battle, but we think this is a compelling case," says Thomas
Loran, a partner in the firm's San Francisco office. "I think what happened ...
is contrary to law and we will seek relief in the court of appeal."
Brad Ballard is also working with state legislators to write a bill called
Nathaniel's Law. He says it may be too late to help them but it may help other
families in similar situations. The bill would require everyone involved in
permanent placement to be investigated by the courts. In other words, the same
standards that are applied to adoptions of children in the state system should
be applied to independent adoptions, says the Ballards' attorney, Nina Ashford.
"That way it really is in the best interest of the child," she says.
Losing Nathaniel has been difficult for 6-year-old Riley, say her parents. She
knows she's adopted and has asked her parents if she will have to leave, too.
Her parents assure her that will not happen. The first-grader, who attends a
Christian school, misses her brother and prays for him regularly. Her faith is
strong, says her mother.
"She prays for God to look out for him," says Jennifer Ballard.
Brad Ballard says he was not able to go to church for several weeks because of
his memories of handing Nathaniel over. But he says he will return. While the
emotional turmoil has taken a toll on his family he says that his faith remains
strong. "It may not end the way we wanted but that's no reason to affect our
faith. We only see a part of the big picture."
He is optimistic about the appeal. His wife is more wary. She spends her time
talking to God on her walks, caring for Riley and writing in her journal.
"I don't want to get my hopes up," says Jennifer Ballard. "At this point, I'm
taking it one day at a time. I'm leaving it in God's hands."
-------------------------
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail . . . but, a true friend will
be sitting next to you saying, "Damn . . . that was fun!"
-----Unknown
The fight for Nathaniel
Parents who lost a custody dispute take their case to the Web and the faithful
By Jennifer Garza
Published 2:15 a.m. PST Saturday, February 21, 2004
The weeks are passing since she saw Nathaniel for the last time, but Jennifer
Ballard still stays awake at night thinking about him.
She misses him so much that she hasn't had the heart or the energy to move his
toys from the living room or the bedding from his crib. His cracker crumbs lie
on the tray of his high chair exactly where they had fallen on his last morning
here. His sippy cup is unwashed.
On the advice of her therapist, Ballard started taking long walks through the
Grass Valley neighborhood where she lives with her husband, Brad, and their
6-year-old daughter, Riley. Ballard uses this time to talk to God.
"I don't see any good in it, so I ask God why," says Ballard, sitting on the
sofa in their living room on a recent morning. "I keep asking him to help me
understand."
Ballard is having difficulty understanding why she and her husband lost custody
of the baby boy they raised from the day after he was born until he was 11
months old. The Ballards believed the boy they named Nathaniel, meaning "gift
from God," was their son. They were in the process of adopting him.
But Casey Johnson, the birth father, claimed the baby's mother did not tell him
that she had placed their son up for adoption and filed for custody. A court
battle ensued. In October, a Nevada County Superior Court judge granted custody
to Johnson. Last month, in a meeting at their church, the Ballards handed over
Nathaniel.
Since then, Ballard's faith in God, which began more than two decades ago on
her mother's lap, has been shaken. Her husband describes it this way: "There
are days when you don't want to get out of bed."
But they have not given up.
Two weeks ago, the couple filed an appeal. The Ballards, active in the Assembly
of God church, have also turned to the evangelical community.
The story of baby Nathaniel has been spread by church members who have e-mailed
news stories about the Ballards to friends across the country. Many have
written to express their support and some have offered financial assistance.
The Pentecostal Evangel, a national Assembly of God publication, wrote about
their plight. Brad Ballard created a Web site - www.babynate.org - so people
could keep track of developments in the case and pray for Nathaniel.
Says Brad Ballard: "This may not turn out the way we want. We may not get Nate
back ... but we know that God wants us to do everything we can."
Not everyone is pleased with the Ballards' decision to publicly discuss the
case.
"I find some of the things the Ballards are doing questionable," says John
Edwards, a Yuba City attorney who represented Casey Johnson. "They've put the
baby on the Internet for their own purposes. The child shouldn't be exposed to
this type of thing."
The Ballards live in a small, cozy home in Grass Valley. Their house looks like
many with young kids - toys on the front lawn, Disney videos on the living room
shelf, family photos on the walls.
The Ballards have been married 12 years. They met when they were teenagers
attending a church youth group. It was not, however, love at first sight. The
two say they did not even like each other at the time. Ten years later, they
met again when their best friends married. This time, the two hit it off. Two
years later, they married.
The Ballards say they always knew they wanted a big family. But they were
unable to conceive a child. In December 1997, the couple adopted their
daughter, Riley, through a private independent adoption.
The family made plans for a bigger family and a life in the ministry. Brad
Ballard, 36, works at a store while attending Trinity Life Bible College in
Sacramento in hopes of becoming an ordained minister. Jennifer Ballard, 32, is
a stay-at-home mom.
Last year, they heard through a friend that another baby might be placed for
adoption. The Ballards were interested.
One day after Nathaniel was born, his birth father went to the hospital. The
Ballards say they didn't think anything of this - their daughter's birth father
had also visited his daughter after she was born. "We thought he was just there
to see him and that was it," said Brad Ballard.
But Edwards says his client made it clear that he wanted his son. The legal
battle started. Edwards says the Ballards prolonged the court case by asking
for such things as a DNA test to determine paternity. The results took several
months.
"The Ballards brought this on themselves," says Edwards, who also says that the
Ballards unfairly kept Johnson from being with his own son.
But the Ballards say that given the situation - Johnson was married to another
woman when he fathered Nathaniel - they believed a DNA test was necessary.
The Ballards also say Johnson did little to contact his son and that his work
history and criminal record - he pleaded guilty to felony burglary, according
to court records - make him an unfit father.
"All of this ... is the culmination of his inability to handle his own life
appropriately," says Brad Ballard.
Edwards, Johnson's attorney, dismissed accusations that Johnson is unfit. "Many
people have police records, but that doesn't determine fitness to have a
child," says Edwards.
Johnson does not want to be interviewed, according to Edwards.
The birth mother supported the Ballards during the custody dispute. She now
lives in Texas.
Kim Rhinehelder, development director for Sierra Adoption Services in
Sacramento, says it is rare for birth parents to contest adoptions.
"Nationwide, the number is less than 1 percent," says Rhinehelder.
Her agency is a private nonprofit that specializes in placing children in the
foster care system. It does not do independent adoptions. Rhinehelder says news
stories about birth parents contesting adoption "are every parent's worst
nightmare. People get afraid to adopt but this is rare. ... It's tragic for
everyone involved."
The court sided with the birth father. Plans were made to transition the baby
to his father. The Ballards went home to prepare for their final weeks with
Nathaniel.
How do you say goodbye?
Emotionally exhausted, Jennifer Ballard didn't know what to do. So she took
lots of photos of Nate, hugged and kissed him as much as she could and kept up
her journal that she hopes he will read one day.
"I want him to know that we wanted him so badly," she says.
On his last morning with the Ballards, Nathaniel's routine was the same. He ate
breakfast, he played with his sister, he laughed a lot. He was also showing
signs of getting a cold. Even now, Jennifer Ballard wonders if he is feeling
better.
Church has always been a comforting place for the Ballards, a place for
everyone in the family. Brad Ballard is a Sunday school teacher and leads the
music during worship service. Jennifer Ballard teaches Missionettes, a
Christian scouting group for girls. Riley attends Sunday School. Nathaniel
spent his time with Jennifer or in the nursery.
In a strange twist of fate, the most difficult day of their life happened at
their church.
The Ballards wanted to have the hand-over at the church because they felt it
was a place where Nathaniel felt comfortable. At 1 p.m. Jan. 17 , the Ballards
and a few close family members and friends drove to the Grass Valley Assembly
of God. They said their goodbyes in the nursery.
"I cried and kissed him as much as I could. I told him that he belonged to
God," says Jennifer Ballard.
The Ballards did not give the baby to Casey Johnson directly. Instead, they
handed him to their pastor, the Rev. Brian A. Johnson, who then gave Nathaniel
to his birth father.
"It's something they don't prepare you for in bible school," says the pastor,
remembering that day. "Brad and Jennifer were crushed."
The Ballards cried and held each other as their pastor took Nathaniel away.
It was the last time they saw him.
One month later, the Ballards say they are determined to fight for Nathaniel
even though they know the odds are against them. A national law firm, Pillsbury
Winthrop, has agreed to represent the Ballards pro bono.
"It's an uphill battle, but we think this is a compelling case," says Thomas
Loran, a partner in the firm's San Francisco office. "I think what happened ...
is contrary to law and we will seek relief in the court of appeal."
Brad Ballard is also working with state legislators to write a bill called
Nathaniel's Law. He says it may be too late to help them but it may help other
families in similar situations. The bill would require everyone involved in
permanent placement to be investigated by the courts. In other words, the same
standards that are applied to adoptions of children in the state system should
be applied to independent adoptions, says the Ballards' attorney, Nina Ashford.
"That way it really is in the best interest of the child," she says.
Losing Nathaniel has been difficult for 6-year-old Riley, say her parents. She
knows she's adopted and has asked her parents if she will have to leave, too.
Her parents assure her that will not happen. The first-grader, who attends a
Christian school, misses her brother and prays for him regularly. Her faith is
strong, says her mother.
"She prays for God to look out for him," says Jennifer Ballard.
Brad Ballard says he was not able to go to church for several weeks because of
his memories of handing Nathaniel over. But he says he will return. While the
emotional turmoil has taken a toll on his family he says that his faith remains
strong. "It may not end the way we wanted but that's no reason to affect our
faith. We only see a part of the big picture."
He is optimistic about the appeal. His wife is more wary. She spends her time
talking to God on her walks, caring for Riley and writing in her journal.
"I don't want to get my hopes up," says Jennifer Ballard. "At this point, I'm
taking it one day at a time. I'm leaving it in God's hands."
-------------------------
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail . . . but, a true friend will
be sitting next to you saying, "Damn . . . that was fun!"
-----Unknown
