Now that I have moved to the wonderful state of Alabama, land of open records,
I was wondering if I could ask for my OBC from California. I mean, after all,
just because their records are closed shouldn't affect me. I am a citizen of
an open records state.

I know......Wishful Thinking.

KL

In article <20040210184921.05539.00004249@mb-m16.aol.com>, KL says...Now that I have moved to the wonderful state of Alabama, land of open records,I was wondering if I could ask for my OBC from California. I mean, after all,just because their records are closed shouldn't affect me. I am a citizen ofan open records state.I know......Wishful Thinking.

I know how you feel. My originial BC sits about 5 miles away from where I work
in the county courthouse - And I can't get near it.

But, considering my bdad's name probably isn't on it, I guess it's really no big
deal.

Robyn
Resident Witchypoo & EAC Spellcaster
#1557

>My originial BC sits about 5 miles away from where I workin the county courthouse - And I can't get near it.But, considering my bdad's name probably isn't on it, I guess it's really nobigdeal.Robyn

I secured my file - I read (and copied) every word on every pleading. Not a
mention of b'father - my b'mother will not divulge his name. B'aunt says she
doens't know because she was so young when I was born. He also could be living
just down the street from me and I would not know.

I forget what you said referencing your b'father when you met b'mother - she
won't tell or you didn't ask? Thanks.

DMC

>Subject: Re: Wishful ThinkingFrom: Robibnikoff nospam@newsranger.comDate: 2/10/04 5:51 PM Pacific Standard TimeMessage-id: <8UfWb.2714$_4.234@www.newsranger.com>In article <20040210184921.05539.00004249@mb-m16.aol.com>, KL says...Now that I have moved to the wonderful state of Alabama, land of openrecords,I was wondering if I could ask for my OBC from California. I mean, afterall,just because their records are closed shouldn't affect me. I am a citizenofan open records state.I know......Wishful Thinking.I know how you feel. My originial BC sits about 5 miles away from where Iworkin the county courthouse - And I can't get near it.But, considering my bdad's name probably isn't on it, I guess it's really nobigdeal.RobynResident Witchypoo & EAC Spellcaster#1557
I got my OBC. It's a crappy copy, but I have it just the same, and feel more
than entitled. My non-id states several times that bmom knows who bdad is.
She has told me that she named him. His name is NOT on my OBC.
Kathy, born Renee Karyn Racine

Permanent good can never be the outcome of untruth and violence.
--Mahatma Gandhi
Peace is not merely a distant goal that we seek, but a means by which we arrive
at that goal.
--Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

In article <20040210234730.24678.00001731@mb-m16.aol.com>, Kathy T says...Subject: Re: Wishful ThinkingFrom: Robibnikoff nospam@newsranger.comDate: 2/10/04 5:51 PM Pacific Standard TimeMessage-id: <8UfWb.2714$_4.234@www.newsranger.com>In article <20040210184921.05539.00004249@mb-m16.aol.com>, KL says...Now that I have moved to the wonderful state of Alabama, land of openrecords,I was wondering if I could ask for my OBC from California. I mean, afterall,just because their records are closed shouldn't affect me. I am a citizenofan open records state.I know......Wishful Thinking.I know how you feel. My originial BC sits about 5 miles away from where Iworkin the county courthouse - And I can't get near it.But, considering my bdad's name probably isn't on it, I guess it's really nobigdeal.
I got my OBC. It's a crappy copy, but I have it just the same, and feel morethan entitled. My non-id states several times that bmom knows who bdad is.She has told me that she named him. His name is NOT on my OBC.Kathy, born Renee Karyn Racine

Yes, I'm sure mine isn't either. I did speak to a friend of a friend who is a
lawyer who works out of that courthouse and she said that the judge would not
allow me to get ahold of my OBC even if I was dying of cancer. NICE!

Robyn
Resident Witchypoo & EAC Spellcaster
#1557

In article <20040210211210.13646.00001560@mb-m27.aol.com>, Dmc10709 says...My originial BC sits about 5 miles away from where I workin the county courthouse - And I can't get near it.But, considering my bdad's name probably isn't on it, I guess it's really nobigdeal.RobynI secured my file - I read (and copied) every word on every pleading. Not amention of b'father - my b'mother will not divulge his name. B'aunt says shedoens't know because she was so young when I was born. He also could be livingjust down the street from me and I would not know.

LOL, me too ;)
I forget what you said referencing your b'father when you met b'mother - shewon't tell or you didn't ask? Thanks.

Well, I sure as HELL wasn't going to bring it up at lunch last week, especially
with my bsis there. The last time I asked for his name was two years ago and
"for the greater good of all", she refused to give me his last name. I don't
know if she ever will. That does bother me to a certain extent, but not as much
as it once did. Maybe now that she's met me in person, she'll change her mind
about telling me his surname.

Robyn
Resident Witchypoo & EAC Spellcaster
#1557

"pb..." <woodlark-99@newsguy.com> wrote I am always surprised that *most* folks in the general populace cannot seem to relate this kind of horror story to the evils of closed records adoption.

I think it's because most people's perception is that it's highly
improbable.

Most peoples' image of adoption is that (a) it's very infrequent (b)
the adopted child is removed to a different town or city, so the
chances of its meeting a b-sib are rather remote (c) since the
stereotypical mother is very young when she has the child, her
subsequent children will be much younger than the relinquished baby,
and thus even less likely to hook up with each other. And finally, if
the mother doesn't list the actual father on the OBC, then half of the
equation is missing or erroneous anyway.

OTOH, the scenario you describe is not that remote: If a husband is
cheating on his wife (or vice versa), then a child (or several
children) could be born with an OBC that lists its legal father -- but
not its genetic one.

The way out, eventually, would be Sue Tretter's old idea, the genetic
database. And every kid would have its DNA read at birth, and be
properly assigned its genetic parents.

Rupa

In article <YRqWb.2765$_4.181@www.newsranger.com>, Robibnikoff
<nospam@newsranger.com> wrote:
The last time I asked for his name was two years ago and"for the greater good of all", she refused to give me his last name.

I guess when she says "all" she isn't including you, or she knows what's good
for you better than you do. Oh well. Here's a fairly loathsome thought: Since
you know your father's first name, have you poked around in her family tree for
guys with that name, especially uncles and stepfathers and cousins? That would
explain the "greater good of all" thinking, I guess. (Pretty squicky though,
eh.)

whoever
---------------------------
coffee for all
(except those I'm omitting)

> The last time I asked for his name was two years ago and"for the greater good of all", she refused to give me his last name. I don'tknow if she ever will. That does bother me to a certain extent, but not asmuchas it once did. Maybe now that she's met me in person, she'll change hermindabout telling me his surname.Robyn

Hopefully she'll come through for you. Mine not telling me does bother me. It
is ridiculous. After all these years I would think she'd come to terms with
the whole situation, but, apparently, has not.

Good luck. And, thanks again for your insightful report. Please keep us
updated from time to time.

DMC

>she said that the judge would notallow me to get ahold of my OBC even if I was dying of cancer. NICE!Robyn

And how would that be any skin off his ***? I haven't tried to secure the obc
- the file was much more important to me. It filled in quite a few holes from
what I could secure from brother and sister of b'mother.

DMC

In article <20040211192545.27200.00002011@mb-m11.aol.com>, Dmc10709 says...she said that the judge would notallow me to get ahold of my OBC even if I was dying of cancer. NICE!RobynAnd how would that be any skin off his ***?

SNARK! Oh dear, I have no idea. From what I was told, he takes a really hard
line on keeping adoption records closed. Why? Who knows.

I haven't tried to secure the obc- the file was much more important to me. It filled in quite a few holes fromwhat I could secure from brother and sister of b'mother.

Understood.

Robyn
Resident Witchypoo & EAC Spellcaster
#1557

In article <20040211192041.27200.00002009@mb-m11.aol.com>, Dmc10709 says... The last time I asked for his name was two years ago and"for the greater good of all", she refused to give me his last name. I don'tknow if she ever will. That does bother me to a certain extent, but not asmuchas it once did. Maybe now that she's met me in person, she'll change hermindabout telling me his surname.RobynHopefully she'll come through for you. Mine not telling me does bother me. Itis ridiculous. After all these years I would think she'd come to terms withthe whole situation, but, apparently, has not.

That's virtually word-for-word what my some of my SILs have said in reference to
my bmom. I have a feeling she'll tell me eventually, but I'm not counting on it
either.
Good luck. And, thanks again for your insightful report. Please keep usupdated from time to time.

No problem :)

Robyn
Resident Witchypoo & EAC Spellcaster
#1557

In article <20040211175556.00545.00004310@mb-m02.aol.com>, fiend says...In article <YRqWb.2765$_4.181@www.newsranger.com>, Robibnikoff<nospam@newsranger.com> wrote:The last time I asked for his name was two years ago and"for the greater good of all", she refused to give me his last name.I guess when she says "all" she isn't including you, or she knows what's goodfor you better than you do. Oh well. Here's a fairly loathsome thought: Sinceyou know your father's first name, have you poked around in her family tree forguys with that name, especially uncles and stepfathers and cousins? That wouldexplain the "greater good of all" thinking, I guess. (Pretty squicky though,eh.)

Cheese n' Rice! What a thought! ECK!

However, unless the poor boy has shuffled off his mortal coil, his name won't be
on the family tree - It just says "LIVING". Though maybe I'll take a
look........maybe ;)

Robyn
Resident Witchypoo & EAC Spellcaster
#1557

Robibnikoff wrote: In article <20040211192545.27200.00002011@mb-m11.aol.com>, Dmc10709 says...she said that the judge would notallow me to get ahold of my OBC even if I was dying of cancer. NICE!RobynAnd how would that be any skin off his ***? SNARK! Oh dear, I have no idea. From what I was told, he takes a really hard line on keeping adoption records closed. Why? Who knows. I haven't tried to secure the obc- the file was much more important to me. It filled in quite a few holes fromwhat I could secure from brother and sister of b'mother. Understood. Robyn Resident Witchypoo & EAC Spellcaster #1557

How about a letter to your local newspaper's Op-Ed page? Give your best
argument(s) for making records available to adult adopted persons --
grab some good quotes from the BN media page and go to town. Once you
expose this judge you may be surprised to find others who will support
you in your quest. Noting ventured, and all that...wot? ;-)

pb...

In article <c0etsm02g82@enews4.newsguy.com>, pb... says...Robibnikoff wrote: In article <20040211192545.27200.00002011@mb-m11.aol.com>, Dmc10709 says...>she said that the judge would not>allow me to get ahold of my OBC even if I was dying of cancer. NICE!>>RobynAnd how would that be any skin off his ***? SNARK! Oh dear, I have no idea. From what I was told, he takes a really hard line on keeping adoption records closed. Why? Who knows. I haven't tried to secure the obc- the file was much more important to me. It filled in quite a few holes fromwhat I could secure from brother and sister of b'mother. Understood. Robyn Resident Witchypoo & EAC Spellcaster #1557How about a letter to your local newspaper's Op-Ed page? Give your bestargument(s) for making records available to adult adopted persons --grab some good quotes from the BN media page and go to town. Once youexpose this judge you may be surprised to find others who will supportyou in your quest. Noting ventured, and all that...wot? ;-)

Well, since it's highly unlikely that my bdad's name is on my OBC, it's not
worth it to me to go to all the trouble to get my hands on it. And considering
I actually seem to be forging a relationship with my bmom, I'll probably be able
to get his name directly from her - eventually.

And honestly? I'm not really interested in finding him anyway.

Robyn
Resident Witchypoo & EAC Spellcaster
#1557

>I actually seem to be forging a relationship with my bmom, I'll probably beableto get his name directly from her - eventually.And honestly? I'm not really interested in finding him anyway.Robyn

I hope you can eventually secure his name from your b'mother. I am interested
on finding the b'father if for no other reason than his looks. I look nothing
like b'mother, somewhat what like one of her daughters, and nothing like the
rest of her sibs. Her sister went on and on how I had her mouth and something
else, but I sure don't see it. B'father is European so I would be interested
to at least see his photo.

Please keep us updated on your reunion.

DMC

In article <20040212112329.00995.00000664@mb-m10.aol.com>, Dmc10709 says...I actually seem to be forging a relationship with my bmom, I'll probably beableto get his name directly from her - eventually.And honestly? I'm not really interested in finding him anyway.RobynI hope you can eventually secure his name from your b'mother. I am interestedon finding the b'father if for no other reason than his looks.

That's completely understandable. After meeting my bmom and bsis and seeing
that I barely resemble them, I can now only assume that I take after my bdad's
side (with the exception of the eyes and mouth). Can't imagine a man with this
turned-up nose, but you never know.

I look nothinglike b'mother, somewhat what like one of her daughters, and nothing like therest of her sibs. Her sister went on and on how I had her mouth and somethingelse, but I sure don't see it.

Sometimes it's difficult for you to see, but other people can see it. Do you
have a picture of your bmom?

B'father is European so I would be interestedto at least see his photo.

Well, yes, I'd like that too - But I can definitely get through the rest of my
life without it too.Please keep us updated on your reunion.

Don't know how much more of it there will be, but I will :)

Robyn
Resident Witchypoo & EAC Spellcaster
#1557

Yes, I do have a photo or two, but I cannot see the resemblance. I also have a
photo of her mother and it is difficult for me to see resemblances. I have 24
first cousins on mother's (adoptive) side and every one of them look related.
LOL.
Sometimes it's difficult for you to see, but other people can see it. Do youhave a picture of your bmom?
Robyn

In article <20040212121422.24705.00001760@mb-m13.aol.com>, Dmc10709 says...Yes, I do have a photo or two, but I cannot see the resemblance.

I didn't initially either, but I put a photo of myself next to hers and then I
could definitely see some resemblance. However, when I met her last week, it
was right back to not seeing much of a resemblance. Of course, she's about 20
years older than the photo she gave me almost 3 years ago.

I also have aphoto of her mother and it is difficult for me to see resemblances.

I have two pictures of my bmom's mom and I don't look a thing like her either.

I have 24first cousins on mother's (adoptive) side and every one of them look related.LOL.

Robyn
Resident Witchypoo & EAC Spellcaster
#1557

I forgot to mention that I have a picture of b'mother when she was about 5 - I
have a picture of me at 5 - put them together and we are twins. Of course,
many children do not look like a parent or sibling.

DMC
However, when I met her last week, itwas right back to not seeing much of a resemblance. Of course, she's about20years older than the photo she gave me almost 3 years ago.
Robyn

I forgot to mention that I have a picture of b'mother when she was about 5 - I
have a picture of me at 5 - put them together and we are twins.

=======
Wow. Must have been interesting for you to see that. I'm glad that you have
that.
========
Of course,
many children do not look like a parent or sibling.

Dale
Bmom/Amom