Hi everyone,

I'm a caretaker for my mom. Though, I'm not a nurse, the work involves
healthcare work, and I'm wondering your opinions on this. Apologies for the
length of the post. I have already posed this question at the moderated
legal newsgroup, perhaps you might have some advice if you were placed in a
similar position.

Here's the short version:

For a few years now, a county/state agency has contracted a private
healthcare agency to provide healthcare workers for my mom who is
recovering from hip surgery and has heart problems. They are not licensed
nurses, simply minimum wage workers who do some housekeeping work and
bathing (personal care) for my mom.

After being verbally, and nearly physically abused by one such worker, my
mom asked that the state transfer those hours to me. The state agreed, but
the hours were split between myself and this private agency, with me as the
primary caregiver.

The second worker they sent out was nice for a time, but refused to do her
work and demanded my mother sign for hours which were not performed and
when my mom finally asked the worker to do her job, she quit, calling my
mother a "*****" in the process.

My mother had had enough, but again was asked by the state to give the
agency yet another chance and a third worker was sent out, but only for one
hour a week.

This worker has again decided not to do her job, I do it instead, and again
this worker strong-armed my mother into signing for hours not performed.
She has taken it upon herself to be my "supervisor" saying this private
agency is a "government agency" and that she is my "supervisor". She is
not, the social worker is.

This agency is angered if there is anything at all on countertops or on
tabletops, making it very difficult for me to tend to my mother. The worker
complained about this and got an increase in her hours, which she uses to
eat my mother's food, and watch television during her "shift". She also
gives unsoliticed medical advice (she is not a doctor, nurse, CNA, etc.,
and personal political opinion.

When the supervisor arrives to supervise the worker, she has used to
opportunity to supervise and complain about me instead, something which I
was not told about in advance, and complains so that her workers can have
the hours. Many of their "complaints" are about things which their own
workers have done. Everything is usually "my fault" in their eyes.

On social worker visits, he is happy with my work, in his opinion the
living environment is immaculate, and has even given me a raise of hours.
My mother is happy with my care.

These workers have verbally and physically abused my mother, something I
didn't complain about at the time, because I didn't believe in it. And, now
this latest worker is upset because I do everything to their own
specificiations, and is upset about "not having anything to do", even
though she doesn't do her own job! During a recent shower, she told my
mother she had to sign that she did have more hours because "she needed to
support her family too".

I am just p*ssed off at these people. I just want my mother to get better,
which is why I took on the job on my end because I want her to get better.
This is called "respite" care in many states, but it is anything but a
respite for me. These people act as my supervisors, without any of the
protections they give their own workers.

They are not my employers, the state agency is, and they are happy with my
work. But the social worker doesn't want them removed even though they are
abusive with my mother and don't do their work until he gets a "good
report".

I will never get a "good report" from these people because (a) they haven't
told me when they are doing this report. Their visits are to supervise
their workers, they say. (b) It is not in their interest to have someone
outside of their agency be employed and (c) they want their own workers
doing the job. Furthermore, even though I am the designated primary
caregiver, I am never given the breakdown of duties in the split of the
hours. Their workers constantly complain about having to do their jobs, but
also complain when they aren't given their jobs. I'm between a rock and a
hard place, and it is a fundamentally unfair situation.

Several of their workers have been fired or quit because of the stress of
the job or from complaints from former patients. Several of their patients
are now in nursing homes because of their care or lack thereof.

The workers have even discouraged my mom telling her she will never get
better and being jealous of the physical therapist when he came fearing a
loss of their own hours.

I've had it with these people. What can I do to protect myself and to wrest
control of my mother's care from this private agency? The easy answer is
for her to get better, but that isn't so easy at the moment. I want her to
get better, and the stress of these people isn't helping.

At the state agency, I am a member of a union. Could the union help me in
this instance? What about legal help from the union? What about legal help
in general? Should I go about hiring an independent agency to evaluate me
to please the social worker to rid my mother of this agency. I am really
tired of them. My first priority is the care of my mother.

Sorry I'm not too specific in this post. I'm in California if that helps. I
won't mention any specifics as I frankly don't want to be sued. ;-)

I do all the cooking, cleaning, medical care, showing, etc., for my mother.
These workers aren't helping, and I just want the recognition for that I
deserve, and this agency is doing anything but "respite". I know I'm not
alone, and that not all agencies are bad, but I think I need to speak out
on this subject. My mother's care comes first and foremost to me.

Thank you for any advice on the subject

Geez, why make such a big deal of it - just tell the agency to bugger
off - you don't need them, your mum doesn't need them, so why even let
them be involved?

David

GDL wrote: Hi everyone, I'm a caretaker for my mom. Though, I'm not a nurse, the work involves healthcare work, and I'm wondering your opinions on this. Apologies for the length of the post. I have already posed this question at the moderated legal newsgroup, perhaps you might have some advice if you were placed in a similar position. Here's the short version: For a few years now, a county/state agency has contracted a private healthcare agency to provide healthcare workers for my mom who is recovering from hip surgery and has heart problems. They are not licensed nurses, simply minimum wage workers who do some housekeeping work and bathing (personal care) for my mom. After being verbally, and nearly physically abused by one such worker, my mom asked that the state transfer those hours to me. The state agreed, but the hours were split between myself and this private agency, with me as the primary caregiver. The second worker they sent out was nice for a time, but refused to do her work and demanded my mother sign for hours which were not performed and when my mom finally asked the worker to do her job, she quit, calling my mother a "*****" in the process. My mother had had enough, but again was asked by the state to give the agency yet another chance and a third worker was sent out, but only for one hour a week. This worker has again decided not to do her job, I do it instead, and again this worker strong-armed my mother into signing for hours not performed. She has taken it upon herself to be my "supervisor" saying this private agency is a "government agency" and that she is my "supervisor". She is not, the social worker is. This agency is angered if there is anything at all on countertops or on tabletops, making it very difficult for me to tend to my mother. The worker complained about this and got an increase in her hours, which she uses to eat my mother's food, and watch television during her "shift". She also gives unsoliticed medical advice (she is not a doctor, nurse, CNA, etc., and personal political opinion. When the supervisor arrives to supervise the worker, she has used to opportunity to supervise and complain about me instead, something which I was not told about in advance, and complains so that her workers can have the hours. Many of their "complaints" are about things which their own workers have done. Everything is usually "my fault" in their eyes. On social worker visits, he is happy with my work, in his opinion the living environment is immaculate, and has even given me a raise of hours. My mother is happy with my care. These workers have verbally and physically abused my mother, something I didn't complain about at the time, because I didn't believe in it. And, now this latest worker is upset because I do everything to their own specificiations, and is upset about "not having anything to do", even though she doesn't do her own job! During a recent shower, she told my mother she had to sign that she did have more hours because "she needed to support her family too". I am just p*ssed off at these people. I just want my mother to get better, which is why I took on the job on my end because I want her to get better. This is called "respite" care in many states, but it is anything but a respite for me. These people act as my supervisors, without any of the protections they give their own workers. They are not my employers, the state agency is, and they are happy with my work. But the social worker doesn't want them removed even though they are abusive with my mother and don't do their work until he gets a "good report". I will never get a "good report" from these people because (a) they haven't told me when they are doing this report. Their visits are to supervise their workers, they say. (b) It is not in their interest to have someone outside of their agency be employed and (c) they want their own workers doing the job. Furthermore, even though I am the designated primary caregiver, I am never given the breakdown of duties in the split of the hours. Their workers constantly complain about having to do their jobs, but also complain when they aren't given their jobs. I'm between a rock and a hard place, and it is a fundamentally unfair situation. Several of their workers have been fired or quit because of the stress of the job or from complaints from former patients. Several of their patients are now in nursing homes because of their care or lack thereof. The workers have even discouraged my mom telling her she will never get better and being jealous of the physical therapist when he came fearing a loss of their own hours. I've had it with these people. What can I do to protect myself and to wrest control of my mother's care from this private agency? The easy answer is for her to get better, but that isn't so easy at the moment. I want her to get better, and the stress of these people isn't helping. At the state agency, I am a member of a union. Could the union help me in this instance? What about legal help from the union? What about legal help in general? Should I go about hiring an independent agency to evaluate me to please the social worker to rid my mother of this agency. I am really tired of them. My first priority is the care of my mother. Sorry I'm not too specific in this post. I'm in California if that helps. I won't mention any specifics as I frankly don't want to be sued. ;-) I do all the cooking, cleaning, medical care, showing, etc., for my mother. These workers aren't helping, and I just want the recognition for that I deserve, and this agency is doing anything but "respite". I know I'm not alone, and that not all agencies are bad, but I think I need to speak out on this subject. My mother's care comes first and foremost to me. Thank you for any advice on the subject

--
If we're not supposed to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?

On Thu, 30 Sep 2004 20:43:12 +1000, quietguy wrote:
Geez, why make such a big deal of it - just tell the agency to bugger off - you don't need them, your mum doesn't need them, so why even let them be involved?

Because I can't. I'm told it's my right, but everytime I've tried to remove
them or complain about their workers, they in turn file a complaint with
the social worker saying I leave a "filthy" house. I don't particularly
want to go to jail or have my mother placed in a home against her will.
They have threatened this when they got their last increase in hours.

For example, if I leave a box of cereal on the kitchen countertop to make
my mother's breakfast, this is reported as "filth" or "neglect". If I
happen to have my mother's medication on the countertop, because she needs
it in the morning and that is when they come, that is reported. They won't
stand for anything, they act as my supervisor, wrongly.

Instead of doing their job, they "inspect" their job and tell me how to do
it and threaten to report me if I don't do their job, but threaten me if I
do it as well. If I don't let them in, they report me.

They do this so they can keep their cushy job doing nothing but watch
television and eat my mother's food.

The social worker is fine with the environment, but is overloaded so he
takes their word for it.

I know I'm doing a good job, and my mother is happy, but I need to know my
rights and to possibly explore some legal remedy to get them out, if I have
to hire some kind of evalulator myself to prove I'm doing a good job, and
possibly take some action against this malignment of my good name.

They do this so they can keep their cushy job watching the latest "Oprah".
I even buy these people food. If I had my druthers, I'd stick those
hamburgers I buy their workers where the son don't shine.

My mother is in a good environment, in good care. She is happy in my care
and hates these people, and is beside herself with this agency. They have
been a complete nightmare. And, I'll be damned if they place her in a home
against her will because their employees don't get a free ride watching
television and eating her food. It's not right, and that's partially why
I've gone to the extent of posting about this problem on the internet. I'm
not the only one in this situation in this area, and it's got to be
stopped.

I still do not understand - it is your mothers home - if she says 'you
can't come in' then they have to stay out - she can just call the cops
if they don't leave.

Why would you have to go to jail? You are there because your mum wants
you there - end of story. You are looking after your mum, and that is
saving the gov a lot of money - you do it because you love your mum and
it is your duty to care for her, they do it for money. Big difference.

David

GDL wrote: On Thu, 30 Sep 2004 20:43:12 +1000, quietguy wrote: Geez, why make such a big deal of it - just tell the agency to bugger off - you don't need them, your mum doesn't need them, so why even let them be involved? Because I can't. I'm told it's my right, but everytime I've tried to remove them or complain about their workers, they in turn file a complaint with the social worker saying I leave a "filthy" house. I don't particularly want to go to jail or have my mother placed in a home against her will. They have threatened this when they got their last increase in hours.