http://www.coffeycountyonline.com/1230adop.htm

Adopted daughter finds
birth mother in Burlington

Becky Reeves
News Editor

This Christmas was the first Christmas Carol Knight and her husband Mike,
Burlington, would be spending the holidays alone. Their children were now grown
and everyone had plans to be elsewhere. Carol knew that this was going to be a
sad holiday.

But all of that changed at 9:30 Monday evening, Dec. 15, when their phone rang
and Carol answered it. It was a call from her daughter, Leslie Ann Lisonbee,
who Carol had not seen or heard from since 1980 when she gave her up for
adoption.

"Getting that phone call just a week before Christmas has made my Christmas and
my New Year's," said Carol. "Everything has changed. I used to have a void in
my life because I didn't know where she was and because I missed her so much.
Now all of a sudden, I have her back and I can talk to her."

Leslie was named Michelle Lynn Gowens at birth. Her parents were facing
difficult times, living in their car on a beach in Pensacola, Fla., with very
little money and two children to feed. "At the time, my husband was AWOL from
the Navy, was on probation, and was running from the law in Kansas," explained
Carol.

Michelle, who was three months old at the time, was born with a digestive
disorder and had difficulty keeping formula down. "She was hungry and sick,"
said Carol. "She was getting weaker and thinner and would cry all the time.
Since we could not afford to get her medical help, we took her to the Pensacola
Children's Society where she was looked at by a doctor."

The doctor determined that she was allergic to the type of formula her parents
had been feeding her and she needed a more expensive soy formula. It had caused
some of the skin to deteriorate behind her ear. She was getting a skin
condition and she had a defective valve in her stomach. Carol was told that
Michelle needed to be hospitalized.

"They said if I had not sought help for her, she would have become deaf or
would have died at an early age," said Carol. "I had no money and no way to
take care of her. I was selling my plasma to have enough money so that we could
eat. I couldn't afford anything like that."

The workers at the Children's Society told Carol that she had options. They
told her that they had a family who could adopt Michelle and give her the help
she needed. "I had to weigh her needs over my wants, and I decided it was best
to give her up to a family that could give her what she needed - treatment so
that she could live a happy, normal childhood," Carol sadly explained.

"I cried lots of times at night. I loved her and wanted to keep her, but I knew
I had to do what was best for her. I knew she would always be in my heart and
that I would never forget her. We signed our rights away and there was nothing
more that I could do," said Carol. Every March 27, Michelle's birthday, Carol
would bake a cupcake and remember her.

About two weeks after they gave Michelle up for adoption, Carol's husband was
apprehended and taken to jail. Carol, who was 20 at the time, was left with her
two-year-old child Pauline to fend for herself on the beach. Later, Carol had
two more children, Michael Jr. and Cassandra. "My husband was very controlling
and abusive and a drug addict," said Carol. "Several times I tried to get away,
but he would always come after us. He said that if I ever took the kids away
that he would kill me. It took a long time to get away from him."

Pauline was placed in protective custody with her grandparents until Carol
could get a job and prove that she could raise her.

Carol has recently found out that Michelle was adopted within two days to very
loving parents who had an older adopted child. "They couldn't have children,
but they were a very loving family that attended church together and took
vacations together," said Carol. "She had a good home."

Michelle grew up in Pensacola, Fla., as Leslie Ann Cotton and had a very happy
life. At the age of three, Leslie's parents told her that she was adopted and
told her about her parents' background and the circumstances surrounding her
adoption. As she matured, they held many conversations with her, giving her
information as she could comprehend it.

"She knew that she wasn't given up because she wasn't wanted but that she was
sick and she needed more than what we could give her at the time," said Carol.
"She said that she understood that and had no hard feelings. She told me that
if I ever wondered if did the right thing, don't worry about it because I did
the right thing."

After graduating from high school in Pensacola, Leslie married and moved with
her husband Mike Lisonbee, who was serving in the Navy in Brunswick, Maine.
Leslie Ann Lisonbee is now 23 and has three children, Alexis, 4, Kevin, 2, and
Brian, 1. Michelle's adoptive parents are living in Pensacola.

As Leslie grew up, she always wondered about her biological family and what
they were like. One day last year, with her parents' help, she wrote to Kansas
asking for her birth certificate. She received the original birth certificate,
which listed her birth name. She found out Carol's maiden name and her dad's
name. Using the Internet, she searched the white pages in Kansas and looked up
her father’s last name. She found her birth father's parents and called them.
When she told them who she was looking for, they hung up on her.

Leslie became somewhat discouraged, but with the help of her adoptive mother
and her husband Mike, they looked up Kirkby, which is Carol's maiden name. She
found a Tom Kirkby in Dodge City, who is Carol's brother, and called him. When
he answered, she told him she was trying to locate a Carol Ann Kirkby. Tom told
her that Carol was his little sister. She asked him if she had given up a
daughter for adoption in 1980 and he said he seemed to remember that she had
given up a child.

He referred her to Carol's older sister Jean Shafer, who lives in Hutchinson.
Leslie called Jean and they talked for an hour. "My sister told her that I had
never forgotten her and I had always loved her," said Carol. "This put Leslie
at ease and made her feel much better about searching for me.

"My sister gave her my phone number and Michelle said she sat looking at that
number for a while, both nervous and scared. She asked herself, 'This is it,
should I call her?' On Monday, Dec. 15, about 9:30 at night, my phone rang and
when I answered it, someone said that they were looking for Carol. I told her I
was Carol and she said, 'Well, you don't know me but my name is Leslie Ann. I
was put up for adoption in 1980 and my name was Michelle Lynn.'

"I just died. I jumped out of bed and tears flowed down my face. We talked for
1 1/2 hours on the phone that night and two hours the next night. About every
night we call each other," said Carol.

Carol's husband and her other three children are ecstatic that Leslie found
them. "As soon as I got off the phone that first time I talked to her, I
couldn't wait to tell Cassandra," said Carol. "During high school, Cassandra
had made attempts using the school's computer and the Internet to locate her
sister. She always ran into roadblocks. I called her at work and told her I had
just gotten off the phone from talking to Michelle. Cassandra couldn't believe
it. She was in tears and I gave her Leslie's phone number. Cassandra called her
the next morning and they talked for two hours."

Over the last two weeks, since that first phone call, Leslie had kept in touch
with her parents and siblings. "She has called her older sister, Pauline Capps,
who lives in Hutchinson and is 25 and her younger sister Cassandra Knight, 19,
who is living in New Smyrna Beach, Fla.," said Carol. "She hasn't talked to her
brother Michael Knight, 21, Burlington, but he knows about her."

When she was born, Leslie's grandparents gave her a white crocheted baby
blanket. Each block had animals and ABC's on it. "I made sure that blanket went
with her when she was adopted and she told me that she still has it," said
Carol.

The Knights are planning a reunion with Leslie, her husband and children in
March. "If I had the money, I would go see her right now," said Carol.
"Leslie's husband is going to talk to his commanding officer and explain the
circumstances and ask for a 30-day leave in March so we can have lots of time
to visit and get to know each other," said Carol. "Cassandra is flying home and
everyone will be there. For the first time, we will get to celebrate her
birthday with her actually being here. It will be her 24th birthday. We are all
so happy. I've told her I know that she has a mom and dad but we will have a
very close relationship with her."

Leslie's adoptive parents have supported her in her efforts to find her
biological mother, and Leslie keeps them informed on everything she is learning
about the Knights. Carol has told Leslie to thank her mom for taking such good
care of her. Her mom is collecting baby pictures and pictures of Leslie as she
was growing up to send to Carol. In return, Carol has mailed several pictures
of family members to Leslie.

Carol has received a picture of Leslie, her husband and their three children
and individual pictures of each of them. "When I look at Alexis, I can see
Pauline in her," said Carol. "She even has the Kirkby chin and face."

Carol came to Burlington six years ago to be close to her brother David Kirkby,
who was living in Gridley. Five years ago, Carol married Mike Knight, who
adopted Pauline, Michael and Cassandra.

"My life has totally changed," said Carol, who is now 44. "Ever since I knew my
daughter turned 18, I had always hoped that I would find her or she would find
me so I could tell her why she was put up for adoption, that she was never
forgotten and that I loved her."


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A good friend will come and bail you out of jail . . . but, a true friend will
be sitting next to you saying, "Damn . . . that was fun!"
-----Unknown