OK here's the deal.

Husband has HIV controlled by meds, Wife can't have kids and it is her life
dream to be a mother. Both are married and live in Virginia.

They have a cousin who lives in Tennessee who wants to give her child up for
adoption.

Husband and wife can't figure out a way to "acquire the child". The main
obstacles: Questionaires and home studies that call HIV a death sentence.

Options they have considered:

1) Resign themselves to the fact that they will never have a child by any
means.

2) Get a divorce. Wife adopts the child as a single parent. Then they get
re-married.

3) Get legally seperated. Wife adopts child as a single parent. Then they
cancel the seperation agreement.

4) Tell the home study people and cousin about the husband's HIV status and
hope that everyone can look beyond that and accept them as fit parents.


Is there something else I can tell this couple as a suggestion. The HIV
status is what is limiting their options, and I am out of ideas. Help!

Thanks!

John

In article <mHtCb.177$SO3.48126@news.uswest.net>, "John"
<johnandstacy@cavtel.net> writes:
OK here's the deal.Husband has HIV controlled by meds, Wife can't have kids and it is her lifedream to be a mother. Both are married and live in Virginia.They have a cousin who lives in Tennessee who wants to give her child up foradoption.Husband and wife can't figure out a way to "acquire the child". The mainobstacles: Questionaires and home studies that call HIV a death sentence.Options they have considered:1) Resign themselves to the fact that they will never have a child by anymeans.2) Get a divorce. Wife adopts the child as a single parent. Then they getre-married.3) Get legally seperated. Wife adopts child as a single parent. Then theycancel the seperation agreement.4) Tell the home study people and cousin about the husband's HIV status andhope that everyone can look beyond that and accept them as fit parents.Is there something else I can tell this couple as a suggestion. The HIVstatus is what is limiting their options, and I am out of ideas. Help!Thanks!John

You can tell them to consult a lawyer versed in the adoption laws of the two
states involved and whether there is any way to accomplish what they want to do
legally and whether an agency can legitimately deny an adoption on the grounds
of HIV. (Seems to me there was a case a few years ago on the subject in a state
out east.)

Items 3 and 4 conceivably could constitute fraud punishable as a criminal
offense or which could provide grounds for rescinding the adoption.

Btw, a recent divorce might be looked on as a sign of instability which would
itself lead an agency to deny approval, particularly if the agency concluded
that the divorce was motivated by a desire to avoid the trials of life with an
HIV positive spouse. What, they might wonder, would such a parent do with a
child who contracted a terminal disease?


J.

"There is no horse so dead it can not be beaten."

Orson Welles

"John" <johnandstacy@cavtel.net> wrote in message news:<mHtCb.177$SO3.48126@news.uswest.net>... OK here's the deal. Husband has HIV controlled by meds, Wife can't have kids and it is her life dream to be a mother. Both are married and live in Virginia. They have a cousin who lives in Tennessee who wants to give her child up for adoption. Husband and wife can't figure out a way to "acquire the child". The main obstacles: Questionaires and home studies that call HIV a death sentence.

If the cousin is convinced that they are the right people to raise her
child, perhaps she can make them her child's legal guardians? It's not
quite the same thing, but they would get to rear the infant.

Rupa

johnandstacy write:

<snip>
Both are married and live in Virginia.>>

and
They have a cousin who lives in Tennessee who wants to give her child up foradoption.>>

Time to speak with an adoption attorney in VA. What makes them think they will
be denied the placement? Sure, adoption agencies in VA might eliminate this
couple for health reasons. However, this will not be your typical agency
adoption. The laws in the State of VA will prevail when it comes to the
placement and finalization parts. The laws in TN will prevail concerning the
relinquishment part. If private adoption is legal in VA and the pbirthmother
in TN has *designated* the couple in VA as the adoptive parents of her child, I
really do not think the State of VA can prevent finalization. This could very
well be viewed by the State of VA as a private matter between the pbirthmother
in TN and their residents, especially since this would be an in-family
adoption.


P2P