My husband and I have been together for 10 and 1/2 years and have been married for 6. My daughter who is 11 has only known my husband as dad. Her sperm donor has only seen her a half a dozen times in her life. He recently decided "to have something to do with her" in his words. When she was a year old I asked him to leave and not come around until he was ready, he did and my daughter enjoyed her 1 visit with him. Although he by his own choice has not contacted since. My husband has wanted to adopt but ex says he won't relinquish rights. He knows that support would stop and everything but won't give them up. We have made numerous attempts to contact and this is the first attempt he has made to see her. I don't know what to do. My husband is currently a student so our funds are limited. My daughter wants her "dad" to adopt her and has for as long as she has known the difference between dad and father. Anyone can be a father but it takes a real man to be a dad!!!!!!! I live in Iowa and am open to any suggestions or websites that might help with the cost. Thank you.

The sperm donor should have signed a sperm donor agreement to terminate parental rights. Under the circumstances, your husband should go ahead and pursue the adoption especially since the sperm donor is not paying or trying to support the child and does not really want a relationship. This is a deceptively complex case and may be novel for where you live, but if your husband wants to adopt and he contests it, then go after him for back child support and I think that may end his objections in a hurry. But consult an attorney.

Her sperm donor has only seen her a half a dozen times in her life. He recently decided "to have something to do with her" in his words.
Sorry I refer to the father as the sperm donor as he has not helped in raising the child he fathered.

Under the circumstances, your husband should go ahead and pursue the adoption especially since the sperm donor is not paying or trying to support the child and does not really want a relationship.

Ummm...where did the OP say the "sperm donor" was not paying?